A new direction (?)

I haven't been on since August and I promise its within good reason.  I went through this sort of Identity Crisis, rethought how I projected myself and how to present it to the rest of the world.  And I went back down to bare basics, read a number of my posts and considered who I was from an audience's point-of-view and this is what I found.

I started from my very first post (and eventual heading).  Retraced my progress and what it meant to have a blog, and if that was different than having a web log. Because they're suppose to be the same thing, I shouldn't be so conflicted, but I was.  On one side, I wanted to report the news, jounalistically w/ editorial spin, bring you the late breaking details and how I feel about them.  And on the other side?  I want to give you my personal and private story, how bits and pieces of the world affect me and whatever I'm doing professionally or otherwise.  I have these two aspirations and the question here is, will it blend?

And so, I've made a decision.  This will remain a personal blog, commenting on things personal and private (to a certain degree).  Professionally, I will be starting a new blog.  And hopefully, I'll  be bringing my friends along.  I'll post details when they become available, so stay tuned!

"Digg This" Button!

Hiro: "Yatta!"
[Heroes - Season 1, Episode 2: Don't Look Back]

Located below (post footer) is a new (for me) "Digg" Button. As you can see, I've become infatuated with Digg and its potential/possibilities. Here's how it did it...

Whatever html editor you're using, search for 'post-footer' and from that... make it look like this...


The follow lines (by default) are the vcard details and author stuff.

Thank You's go to...
[Steakified.]
[http://digg.com/tools/integrate]
[http://bloggingsecret.blogspot.com/2007/04/how-to-add-digg-button-on-blogspot.html]

So where do we go from here...?

First off, I apologize for not blogging as much as I promised I would but I've been quite busy remaking a few things (including this blog). I was thinking to myself and thought "I come across so much stuff in my daily life that shapes who I am and what I'm about. It's only right that on my personal blog, I would share it with all of you." Thanks to digg.com, the passage of images and information is incredible. People sourcing from all places, providing various material on a number of different subjects. At the tip of this iceberg, the possibilities are endless.

Digg has brought me to this article/page and it raises many questions about our industrialism and whether or not the positives outweigh the negatives. I'm not going to post all the images here, they aren't mine, but please follow the link and enjoy.

I chose this particular image because the sea on military planes is a reflection of our violent intent, as human beings.

The Good Life

Hey! Take a seat; let me talk to you about something. I know you see me out here, talking a lot about money and this and that. Plenty about material items and you wonder what happened to “it’s not about the money.” Give me a chance to explain. What I’m looking for, well… its peace through success.

It’s difficult to understand that the world is a beautiful place when all you see is people suffering. But people keep telling me this. So now I’m trying to see that. I know there are other issues I could be sitting here worry about. I can’t get distracted by things outside of me, when I dwell on things inside of me. But let me put it to you like this, maybe I could solve the issues I have internally after I solve my external issues. I look at it like this, I have so many people around me that really want to put a good message out in the world and their biggest problem… is money. So let me take away that problem. Yes, it’s good for the roses when it rains... but it’s difficult when it’s always the same.

I’m trying to find out if you really do you see “things clearer through Marc Jacob shades?” Do you really “sleep better knowing you’re going to wake up paid?” [Fabolous, Lloyd – Real Playa Like]

What does it feel like to “pop champagne on a plane?” I already know that “having money isn’t everything, but not having it, is.” [Kanye West, T-Pain – The Good Life]

I’m trying to follow “The Blueprint” to understand that “life is just a beach chair.” I know that there’s “business around corner where the sun don’t shine.” But I’m trying to “let the wheels give a glimpse of hope from one’s grind.” I want to feel the difference between a regular vacation and a permanent one. [Jay-Z, Chris Martin – Beach Chair]

I have goals to change the world and it takes money to do that.
I will “do good” with this money.

Moment of Clarity

This isn’t an introduction from me; it’s not needed because I am who I am. Although, I believe an apology is in order. I’m sorry for not speaking what was in my head so that others my hear it. I apologize for that possible bit of knowledge that may have helped you and wasn’t there when you searched here because you may have thought I would’ve provided it; I will not try, but I will do better next time. I appreciate those that have read what I have written thus far and hope I will gain more audience as the time line is written.

Since my last post I have been searching, simply searching for the answers I may not be ready to handle. During rehabilitation, alcoholics experience a phenomenon referred to as a “moment of clarity.” A moment in which they see the picture in it’s entirely. The truth, and the grand scheme of all things. It is usually the realization of something that affects all aspects of their life, it usually causes them to change their ways and straighten their wavy path. They gain a sense of clarity and thank those that have given them so much. Some credit this to family, others to their friends, and some to God.

From the last posts, a series of events have happened. Those of which, the outcome [which is most important] is displayed here. Some say it is only the journey that matters, but I’d argue it is the journey of life that matters. How is this different? I solemnly believe life can be seen as one whole journey with one end, but also can be seen as many series of events with many conclusions to journeys and an ultimate end. Since the last time we met, I've reached the end of a series. A semester was completed, a year had ended, a birthday had passed, along with countless other things and what have I learned?

Every now and again, one must look from the outside of one’s self to see the whole picture.

Riding through life behind the steering wheel, one can only concentrate on what is in front. Seeing the world from a different perspective can result in a clearer understanding of surroundings. There are pilots and there are passengers, the world is different depending on view from one’s seat.

Now what if you were neither of those; perhaps a third party, the observer, so to speak. What is the view like then? I believe there is much benefit from this perspective. I am allowed to see myself, the people around me, and my environment and from that choose what I believe is the best path or way to proceed. If you agree, then the ultimate question is… how does one generate this view?

What are the questions that needed to be asked? What is the cognitive thought-process that needs to happen? How do we synthetically generate a moment in which we are able to see the truth and how it fits with the whole picture? Is it possible to make a moment of clarity? And if so, how?

Sometimes the answer isn’t where you’d expect it to be, it may not even been where you hoped it would be… sometimes you’ve known the answer all along, but it took something from outside to point it out to you.

Hunger

As you probably [hopefully] already know, a great number of intelligent beings have graced the surface of this planet. [Galileo, Newton, and Einstein, just to name a few (not undermining Copernicus, Descartes, Freud, or anyone one else for that matter)] Each of these great individuals has left something behind. It is within human nature to record what we discover, cave paintings and this blog is pure example of this.

Some people have made the comment: there is nothing left to build because all the styles in architecture have already been processed. Furthermore, some people have said that there is nothing left to discover, because someone has already discovered it. This is when innovation is of the utmost importance. As an argument for the attainment of knowledge, by knowing what has already been done can we truly reach a higher tier. Often times, the student surpasses the teacher; after learning everything the teacher has to offer, isn’t it just obvious that one would reach beyond their scope? Socrates was a great teacher, but Plato was a great student. All great scholars left text, records and materials. Why do we have history courses? Why is it that in every course of study taken anywhere, on anything, we study the past? In physics, we study Newton’s three laws. In philosophy, we study Aristotle’s Ethics. Our nation (and all nations), poised in a position to grow, must learn the teachings of the past.

Why? Because we have this luxury; in America, and other first world countries, we are not concerned with our basic survival. Here, it’s almost taken for granted. The majority of us don’t need to worry about our next meal. America’s biggest question is… should I go to McDonald’s or Burger King. In hopes to help our fellow human race, we must understand the conclusions made in the past and move forward through innovation. I may have not figured out why we need to be together, but I believe to fully reach our potential as a human race we need to be on the same page. I believe there is one goal, and it requires one team... or else we’re just competing against ourselves.

A part of a whole [Part 1]

Wow… I find myself apologizing every time I come online to post on my blog. It’s like I’m not fulfilling my part of the deal, my honor to have a blog and a microphone to speak from. I can only apologize, it’s not like I’m not thinking… it’s just…. Never mind, there are no excuses.

The topic for today is an issue that’s been swirling around in my head (this is only the tip of the iceberg; there will be more on this as it develops). Many of the stuff I’m integrated in have brought this to my attention. During a discussion in one of my classes, I was getting the tone that most everyone was rather afraid of being a part of a whole. The question was posed “are we losing our sense of region?” Basically, are we losing the sense of a Chicagoan or New Yorker? Rem Koolhaas [OMA Architect] has stated that we are losing the sense of Urbanism. The skyscraper is making all the cities look the same and there’s nothing unique from city to city. I would ask, what’s wrong with being a globe and not just cities. What would happen if there were cities that ran the world as a cohesive unit, together? What’s wrong with the idea of “World City,” coming full circle? Imagine if there were a number of cities that literally ran the world, kinda like offices in a worldwide corporation. What would we be divided by then? Beliefs… if we are going to have a division, I say have the division on trivial beliefs. Something as small as, I am a White Sox fan vs. I am a Cubs fan. These are beliefs we cannot go to war over. [Possibly, a small step toward World Peace?] The only problem with having to come to an agreement on big issues is always a problem. Recently, the question of abortion was voted on again: Pro-Choice vs. Pro-Life. Whether you want to believe it or not, there are advantages to both sides. I always find the answer is always somewhere in the middle. [We’ll talk about abortion some other time, gotta refocus.]

I’m a Buddhist, and for the next part of this blog, I feel I need to provide a little background information. Over time, there have been two separate ideas for Buddhism. The general goal is enlightenment; this is where the division comes. Some people in enlightenment for the individual, others believe in enlightenment for all. I am a believer in enlightenment for all. As I understand it, if we [as humans] are all trying to get to one place (whatever you wanna call the place, enlightenment or heaven) why can’t we get there, together; that’s my justification. Furthermore, whatever I do in life let it be for the good of all. Here’s how it fits into my argument for globalization.

If the cities/countries that have power, and make the selfless act of helping another city/country then we’ll all get to where we are trying to get to [enlightenment or heaven, there’s more… I know]. Things like AIDS awareness, are steps in the right direction… making things a world problem, world issue. Banning together to achieve a goal, “Together we stand, divided we fall.” Remember, we’re all on this planet… all part of a whole. I have no problem with lending a helping hand. Others will argue, we have our own problems to deal with; this is true, we do have problems, but with this design wouldn’t we be able to help each other? Some countries are hungry; some countries have an abundance of food. Keep your eyes on the goal. Then some would argue “that’s their problem, we shouldn’t make it ours.” Can you hear how selfish that is? Here we are with the tools we have to save another, yet we don’t act. Makes us look like a real hero, Superman should be jealous. Yeah, Superman… [In the comic world] an individual that saves the planet that he’s not from, a planet that would exile him if the majority knew he didn’t belong. He completes a selfless act every time the planet is in need.

Now, people would question, “what about the guy you wanted to remove from architecture school.” Furthermore, “if you have the have the tools to help someone, why don’t you?” There are some that don’t want to grasp the picture that I’m painting. Those individuals I cannot help. There are those that are trying to grasp that same image, I question if they’ll get the image before it’s too late or grasp the image in its entirety. I believe in the human being, the ability to change is phenomenal. I partner those that are willing to achieve the same goal that I am trying to achieve; I would hope that we are on the same page. How do I know my goal is right? Is my goal noble enough? Is helping somewhere else when I am most fortunate, is that noble enough? Then people always ask, why aren’t you helping now… why are you spending your money to go to school and all this other jazzy stuff. As long as it is providing me with more tools to achieve my goal, then I must give my time for it. A samurai doesn’t run into battle with just a sword and expect to win. To answer the first question I would respond, if the individual is inadequate then their help would only hurt; we would take steps backward, because the job of an architect is very powerful—thus, it has many of responsibilities. [Things like protecting people from the weather while they try to achieve their goal, and assisting people to their job, those are just a small taste.]

Others would then question, what about losing culture? What about Globalization washing the sense of region? Here’s where the job of the architect is most evident. When an architect designs, the architect would need to worry about where the architect is… pay tribute to the location… if the architect is in Paris, the design would reflect the culture. If the architect is in Tokyo, there should be evidence of that in the design. Don’t just pop-up cookie cutter buildings that have no references. If a building were to be relocated, then the building needs to feel out of place. How you express this as an architect that is your style.

Now you always have those individuals that say “Hey, if you’ve got this great idea… then how do we get there?” I answer with a simple quote: “Be the change, you want to see in the world” [Gandhi]. I believe it… and honestly, how hard is that?

Everytime I look in the mirror... I'm reminded

There's so much stuff going on right now... but there was a certain thing on my mind, that I just need to comment on... like right now... while I'm in that funk. I know I haven't been posting up and all that jazzy stuff... and there's no excuse for that. I said I'd try to be here as often as possible and Architecture has got me up at the crack of dawn (ready to go to sleep) and waking up as soon as it's physically possible for my body to function correctly(?). But anyways... enough of my half-assed excuse... back to the material.

Now, I grabbed a blog and figured I'd be able to speak to the masses... say something that might change someone's point of view. Now a part of me wishes... I would've created something that didn't detail who I was. Something like a place where I could tell all my secrets and no one would ever find them... and if they did... couldn't link them back to me. I'd be able to detail out my mistakes and those lies that've told. Now that it's linked back to me.. and people know who I am... I'm afraid of saying something that might offend someone while I attempted to clear the same subject for someone else. I don't know if that sounded clear... but I hope that you get the gist. So what do I do... Hehheh... that's why I have a separate sketchbook for those kinda things... (no, you can't see it) Y'all out there in cyber space... prolly already get me... simple yet so complex (The Hanged Man, right?) Same as everyone else... I've made mistakes and the more I think about my mistakes... the more I hate them as well as hate the fact that I may make another one. It's probably attributed to the reason why I am so analytical now, afraid to make another mistake. There was a particular time... when I made a mistake and I regret my mistake... (if you're looking for it, I'm not going to say it... I've already admitted it somewhere else [psst: sketchbook]) There have been many situations that I would've handled differently but I didn't... and those mistakes haunt me. There's never really a chance to patch over the a mistake... just like when you punch a hole in the wall and then cover it up with dry wall paste, there's still that hole in the dry wall and that dry wall is no longer one piece as it was before. "When the paper is crumbled up... it can't be perfect again" [Linkin Park - Forgotten], but that's not the song I'm listening to right now... the song playing right now is "How Do I Deal" by Frankie J. For those that think they know the situation I'm referring to... think again [or ask?] there's a hint here... somewhere... it has to deal with the choice that I've made and the question I avoided... (the martial status one) One of these nights... I will comment on that... when I can figure out a way to comment without offending anyone. It'll get detailed out, as close as possible. Now how does all this relate... damn.... that's for tonight but here's something brief... this past week... two people I knew passed away, and before that... I commented on my cousin's blog [Steakfied.com] and I said something along the lines of "I only hope that when it is my time to pass, I die with a smile upon my face - satisfied with the life I lived and able to accept my own apologizes." [coincidence? I dunno, who would've thunk it. He'd be commenting on the death of a friend and just around the corner I'd lose someone I knew] I think that hits, what I'm trying to say, right on the head. When it's all over, I only hope to be completely satisfied with the life I lived... furthermore able to accept my own apologizes (for the mistakes that I've made). Hopefully... there's a time in which I can forgive myself for the mistakes I made... but until that time comes... I'm still hating the fact that I'm human... having to look at myself in the mirror... learning to deal with who I am (wouldn't it be great to never make a mistake...).

What are we doin' tonight Brain...?

Nothing drastic to report today... just the fact that it's 3:43 AM and I just finished for my presentation tomorrow. Hehheh... just realized some people might not know anything about me. Well let's just fix that first.

First Name: Carl
Family Name: Lee
Nicknames/Alias: ...? Dragon? DragonRomeo? (Now...) Tainted Dragon?
Location: Chicago... UIC
Occupation: Student
Major: Architecture (possible double in Philosophy)
Martial Status: (We'll get into that another day)
Interests: They vary like the color wheel.

Well that’s about the core and all y’all really needed to know.... But seriously... I hate this crap... about me shiet... I once posted a question on my AIM away message (stating something like "if someone asked you to describe me, what would you say?") and I got some pretty interesting answers, but I didn't get that many... conclusion people can't really describe me and I can't describe myself so let's just let the blog speak for itself (over time). If you can't already tell... I'm analytical to a fault... really to the point where I either hate the fact that I am human (and therefore flawed) or hate the society we must (for now) exist in (until I change it up a little). I'm sure most of you will get that feeling after a few hours of reading my nonsense that makes the world seem perfectly balanced and yet chaotic (little taste of Descartes there). Anyways... if anyone cares here is why my name on here is Tainted Dragon.

Tainted Dragon.
Tainted (Thank you dictionary.com):
1. To affect with or as if with a disease.
2. To affect with decay or putrefaction; spoil. See Synonyms at contaminate.
3. To corrupt morally.
4. To affect with a tinge of something reprehensible.

Dragon:1. Mythical creature hold in nearly all cultures of old and new.
Egyptian: Anubus (God of the underworld) kept a Dragon as his pet and guardian. Also other references.
European: Feared flying creature, some thought to be the symbol of Asian take-over of the European countries.
Asian: Duh...?
2. "Monster" held for the creation and eventual destruction of the world.
3. Large reptile, sometimes winged, serpents tail, lion's claw (the number of claws changes in different cultures as well), scaly skin.
4. (Last but not least) Strong minded individual.

Using those definitions...

well you can kinda figure why I run this blog under Tainted Dragon. Yeah... I know... analytical... I can't help it. Well that's a good for now... I'll post more later, I got sleep to get before my presentation tomorrow (gotta think of something to say).

It has to start somewhere

Welcome Ladies & Gentlemen,

This is the first blog and the beginning for many more. The reason I decided to sign up for a blog is because I like the whole idea of having something where I am able to speak what is in my head and for those that want to listen have a chance to receive these messages that I send out into cyberspace. Also, it is another chance to explain myself (for those that don't like my away messages). That whole concept of statements and words being beaconed out to the rest of the world just screams potential. Hopefully... this will give me an opportunity to further my own thoughts and possibly someone else's as well. For those of you that already know me, here is the next level of complexity; for those of you that are entering for the first time, Good Luck.