The Wisdom To Know The Difference

If you haven't seen it on my Twitter, I'm feeling more and more personally responsible for the Iraq war. I, like most Americans, was not opposed to the idea when it was presented 5 years ago. It was lumped in with the "War on Terror"; there wasn't much explanation as to why and WMD's weren't found, but all that was overlooked then. And as this war continues, the question of how the war will be inherited and how to deal with those responsible is starting to come up (well... at least in the media outlets that should be given attention). There is also much talk about Bush being tried for his abuse of power and crimes (hopefully with the rest of his cabinet as well) but to be direct we will inherit this war. Whether you believe in "We, as Americans" or not, the problems the war has caused does effect us all. Even if you opposed the war at the beginning, you're still paying $4 at the gas pump (if you drive, if not, you're paying it at the grocery store). I wish there was a way to separate those that didn't oppose the war and those that did, I can only raise my own hand, and that's about it. I foolishly thought the death of one man would save the lives of many more. I wanted Saddam out of power, by any means plausible, but after that was accomplished it should have ended. But it didn't, and trying to embody another man's judge/jury/executioner cost the lives of many American soldiers. And some think its worth it, but I don't... I feel guilty. I should've known the difference.

Thankfully, the task of the next president is to put an end to these crimes against humanity.

[image provided by: counterclockwise @ flickr]

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I apologize if I offend anyone with my preceding comments.
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Although somewhat unrelated, I want to share another train of thought that really isn't all that disconnected from the commentary above. It begins with a question...

Why aren't we all anti-war activist? Is the war something we really cannot change?

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Another post, at another date (probably July 4th) is about how we, as Americans, shape America. After all, America is a democracy, as much as some of you may want to deny it, and a democracy is shaped by its people. (That's gonna hurt, comrade.)

[image provided by: spider2544 on deviantART]

Sometimes I feel like the "The Serenity Prayer" breeds passivity. Because of this particular prayer, many people choose not do anything when things aren't quite right. I think there's a door of ambiguity that is opened that is easily overlooked. What if the prayer was read in reverse? Bottom up? Something like this:

God, grant me
The wisdom to know the difference
The courage to change the things I can
The serenity to accept the things I cannot change

If it were read like this, would you get a different message? Is it something along the lines of trying the "change" before accepting the "cannot change"? Do you know what I'm getting at, or is there a different door of ambiguity that must be resolved in another post?

Always Remind.

I have a confession… I've been reading. I know, I know… it’s not a big deal. But for so long, I haven’t read… and when I read it was for all the wrong reasons. This time was different. Today, I finished The Jew in the Lotus. [And I know I haven’t been blogging as I once frequently did and the last few posts have been somewhat sour, but I’m going to get past that.] I want to share a bit of this book with you. There are quite a few things that I’d want to write, but we don’t have time for it all. Hopefully, I can get to it some other time… or the issue will come up. But we’ll just leave it to Fate.

The Jew in the Lotus is about a group of Jewish delegates that travel to Dharamsala, India to have a religious dialogs with the XIV Dalai Lama of Tibet. Their intention is to compare their religions but find they have more in common than in difference. The dialogs are of true events and written from the perspective of a poet, Roger Kamenetz. He was born Jewish and this is his rediscovery of Judaism through an encounter with the Dalai Lama. I won’t go through the whole plot [leave that for you to read] but there is an idea that I want to share.

What is currently happening to the Tibetans is nothing less than genocide. It’s nothing different than the events that happened during Hitler’s term in power, so naturally the subject is openly discussed. One of the Dalai Lama’s questions for the Jewish is about survival, there’s no one better to ask. From this is something I wanted to focus on.

The Dalai Lama is asked to comment on the current situation. Enlightening, the Dalai Lama refers to the Chinese as the “external force.” At first, this concept is difficult to grasp… the Chinese have done so much against the Tibetans and to understand them as just an “external force” is beyond common instinct. When questioned, the Dalai Lama says something along the lines of “those that live in fear or hate toward the Germans are still in concentration camps.”

Wow.

For so long the past has held me prisoner, and through understanding, the negative force can end.

Buddhism teaches, among other things, tolerance. Buddhism is a peaceful religion; throughout history they have not been responsible for any violence. Fighting for Buddhism would be counter-productive, thus the question of survival.

A part of a whole [Part 1]

Wow… I find myself apologizing every time I come online to post on my blog. It’s like I’m not fulfilling my part of the deal, my honor to have a blog and a microphone to speak from. I can only apologize, it’s not like I’m not thinking… it’s just…. Never mind, there are no excuses.

The topic for today is an issue that’s been swirling around in my head (this is only the tip of the iceberg; there will be more on this as it develops). Many of the stuff I’m integrated in have brought this to my attention. During a discussion in one of my classes, I was getting the tone that most everyone was rather afraid of being a part of a whole. The question was posed “are we losing our sense of region?” Basically, are we losing the sense of a Chicagoan or New Yorker? Rem Koolhaas [OMA Architect] has stated that we are losing the sense of Urbanism. The skyscraper is making all the cities look the same and there’s nothing unique from city to city. I would ask, what’s wrong with being a globe and not just cities. What would happen if there were cities that ran the world as a cohesive unit, together? What’s wrong with the idea of “World City,” coming full circle? Imagine if there were a number of cities that literally ran the world, kinda like offices in a worldwide corporation. What would we be divided by then? Beliefs… if we are going to have a division, I say have the division on trivial beliefs. Something as small as, I am a White Sox fan vs. I am a Cubs fan. These are beliefs we cannot go to war over. [Possibly, a small step toward World Peace?] The only problem with having to come to an agreement on big issues is always a problem. Recently, the question of abortion was voted on again: Pro-Choice vs. Pro-Life. Whether you want to believe it or not, there are advantages to both sides. I always find the answer is always somewhere in the middle. [We’ll talk about abortion some other time, gotta refocus.]

I’m a Buddhist, and for the next part of this blog, I feel I need to provide a little background information. Over time, there have been two separate ideas for Buddhism. The general goal is enlightenment; this is where the division comes. Some people in enlightenment for the individual, others believe in enlightenment for all. I am a believer in enlightenment for all. As I understand it, if we [as humans] are all trying to get to one place (whatever you wanna call the place, enlightenment or heaven) why can’t we get there, together; that’s my justification. Furthermore, whatever I do in life let it be for the good of all. Here’s how it fits into my argument for globalization.

If the cities/countries that have power, and make the selfless act of helping another city/country then we’ll all get to where we are trying to get to [enlightenment or heaven, there’s more… I know]. Things like AIDS awareness, are steps in the right direction… making things a world problem, world issue. Banning together to achieve a goal, “Together we stand, divided we fall.” Remember, we’re all on this planet… all part of a whole. I have no problem with lending a helping hand. Others will argue, we have our own problems to deal with; this is true, we do have problems, but with this design wouldn’t we be able to help each other? Some countries are hungry; some countries have an abundance of food. Keep your eyes on the goal. Then some would argue “that’s their problem, we shouldn’t make it ours.” Can you hear how selfish that is? Here we are with the tools we have to save another, yet we don’t act. Makes us look like a real hero, Superman should be jealous. Yeah, Superman… [In the comic world] an individual that saves the planet that he’s not from, a planet that would exile him if the majority knew he didn’t belong. He completes a selfless act every time the planet is in need.

Now, people would question, “what about the guy you wanted to remove from architecture school.” Furthermore, “if you have the have the tools to help someone, why don’t you?” There are some that don’t want to grasp the picture that I’m painting. Those individuals I cannot help. There are those that are trying to grasp that same image, I question if they’ll get the image before it’s too late or grasp the image in its entirety. I believe in the human being, the ability to change is phenomenal. I partner those that are willing to achieve the same goal that I am trying to achieve; I would hope that we are on the same page. How do I know my goal is right? Is my goal noble enough? Is helping somewhere else when I am most fortunate, is that noble enough? Then people always ask, why aren’t you helping now… why are you spending your money to go to school and all this other jazzy stuff. As long as it is providing me with more tools to achieve my goal, then I must give my time for it. A samurai doesn’t run into battle with just a sword and expect to win. To answer the first question I would respond, if the individual is inadequate then their help would only hurt; we would take steps backward, because the job of an architect is very powerful—thus, it has many of responsibilities. [Things like protecting people from the weather while they try to achieve their goal, and assisting people to their job, those are just a small taste.]

Others would then question, what about losing culture? What about Globalization washing the sense of region? Here’s where the job of the architect is most evident. When an architect designs, the architect would need to worry about where the architect is… pay tribute to the location… if the architect is in Paris, the design would reflect the culture. If the architect is in Tokyo, there should be evidence of that in the design. Don’t just pop-up cookie cutter buildings that have no references. If a building were to be relocated, then the building needs to feel out of place. How you express this as an architect that is your style.

Now you always have those individuals that say “Hey, if you’ve got this great idea… then how do we get there?” I answer with a simple quote: “Be the change, you want to see in the world” [Gandhi]. I believe it… and honestly, how hard is that?

Behind The Falling Curtain

Hey everyone! Just finished the final, which means it’s the end of the semester… Me and the reflective kinda guy that I am, would like to take a moment to look back on the semester that just passed, can’t really know where I’m going unless I know where I've been. Many things have changed since the beginning of this semester. Made a lot of decisions, some I didn’t want to make… many I needed to make… and most I made confidently (partly because of the coin flip… shhh). Man… this is starting to sound like the end… if you’re thinking this, you’d be mistaken… this is only the beginning. I will post from my parents house as often as I develop my thoughts and ideas. If you’re still taking this as a close then let it be a closing statement to the fall semester of 2005, that should satisfy what I’m feeling right now. I hope all of you have learned something this semester, either through me personally or through this blog and the conversations that you have with others. I hope you all will tune in for the next episode. You know I’ll be here!

Hey, I know everyone doesn’t run on the semester and I don’t either… this break… hopefully Imma lay the grounds for another font. Finalize a few things on the old one, so I can get that posted up and ready to be published. I know there are many things I wanna change. Trying to be so universal and direct is difficult because there are so many different types of people in the world. It’s hard to design something that applies to all and still have something that’s uniform. It’s like I have to find something that all unique people have in common, which is sorta not possible because if they are all unique then how do they have something in common. But it’s been done, so I won’t stop until I do find something that can be related on all sides and still apply to unique individuals.

More and more I see myself as a contradiction. The more I speak, the more I contradict myself. Why is it every time that I pull from the world and apply it in a singular fashion, it becomes a contradiction? How come when I say it, it’s a contradiction; but when God does it, it’s not? I have been playing with something in my mind. [This kinda branches from that whole speaking without having to use language or saying any words] Because God is God, God can contradict without having to say any words and whatever was said by God wouldn’t be a contradiction… Maybe if God spoke God would contradict the words that are spoken? I say the world is full of separate entities and very complex, and very simple. This is a contradiction, when God does it, it’s not a contradiction. See what I’m saying? I ask the question can God make a rock that God cannot lift. If God makes it, it’s not truly a rock God cannot lift because God can do anything God wills. If God can’t make it, then that has to be incorrect because God can do anything God wills. God must be defined without limitations. It’s wrong for God to be limited, its wrong by definition of God. Just by asking the question I have presented a contradiction. I think all great philosophers that have spoken have created their own contradictions, when philosophers speak on how they have designed the world… there’s contradictions. God has created the world, and there are contradictions when we talk about the world… but the world exists. And because the world exists it’s not a contradiction. Hehheh… whirling you around in a circle yet? When the globe in your brain slows down just a little bit… tell me what you think. Imma pack up and ship myself back to my parent’s house.

For Better Business

Hey all… just wanted to check in… I’m just sitting here, not taking my finals as seriously as I should… listening to music (as always). I had a couple of different things running in my head the last few days… you’re prolly thinking, what’s else is new… but hey, that’s how I work. Anyways, lemme air out a few thoughts… maybe I could get some feedback *hint hint, wink wink* hmmm… where to begin…. Ha! I got it.

Has anyone ever made a decision on a coin flip? (Anyone else smiling? No? Maybe I’m trying too hard) I have… I've done it quite often… doing that whole Two-Face thing (ya know… Batman…?) Now it’s not always a decision of good vs. evil. I use that whole coin flip decision thing on a situation where I can see both the positives and negatives of a situation or choice. Kinda like letting the coin pick the less of the two evils, because it’s indiscriminate and not influenced by the human difficulties that I possess. Usually when I’m going to make a decision by the coin… I decide what side is going to be what option, flip the coin, catch it, and flip it over on my other hand. (If I don’t catch it or it slips or some other difficulty the options have to be reset and I have to flip again) After the coin tells me what to do, I forget about the other option… the other option doesn’t matter anymore. And whatever the coin has chosen, I have to do that. That’s the discipline.

I think a part of this is attributed to the fact that I don’t believe in coincidence. Since nothing is truly random, it’s kinda like my way of speaking to God? Or God guiding me? It’s like that whole Fate and Destiny argument I was talking about before, when I come to a fork in the road and I have to make a choice, and because I’m human, I can’t make the choice without regretting or wanting the other option or possibly just not seeing clearly, the coin would show me the way to leads me to the “better” route. So I guess the coin helps me choose the best possible route, if there is such a thing. And with this thinking, whatever the coin chooses, it’s like Fate or Destiny or God has said this is what is to happen. And how am I to argue with that?

Now, this was way of decision making was in my life before, but I started becoming vividly aware of this when I heard that some businesses run on this system. Seriously, there was an article about a business that wanted to buy out another one… and the business that was taking bids decided on a coin flip. Ain’t that some shiet? There are web pages up on Google’s search engine if you don’t believe me. (That’s one of those… ::reaches in pocket and pulls out a fact sheet::)

Now, I was talking to my Father about this… I can’t remember what it came from but he said there was another way of doing this… kinda a spin-off I suppose. He explained the whole procedure and now I present it to you. Take a sheet of paper, write yes on one side and write no on the other side. Then kinda eye where the middle is, DON’T MEASURE, and tear. This can be interchanged with the options being put on the ends and whatnot you get the point. This basically runs on the same thinking as the coin flip. Because nothing happens without reason, the side that has more is the option you take. Ha! Who thought “the side that has more” was funny… get it… more paper or more benefit. No? Ahhh y’all aren’t very fun. [That’s the problem with blogs… I don’t get initial reactions… hell I don’t’ get reactions, cuz no one responds.] Yeah, so if you don’t have a coin around and you do have a piece of paper and pen and willing to kill a sheet of paper to make a decision you could use this. I just keep a quarter [quarters because they’re bigger, easier to flip and catch… dimes are the worst]. Flip a Coin… there’s suppose to be something about businesses playing rock, paper, scissors, I just think the rules are difficult to set up between businesses and there’s took much human influence. Like you could kinda take a guess at what a person would choose and then obviously the other person is doing the same thing. And basically it’s an intangible war, until the counts comes. Hehheh… I’m calling the Better Business Bureau.

Yeah, for the installation project that was just completed… we did coin flips for the locations that many groups wanted. Made me happy, and I must say… I think everything that was decided on the coin flip went rather well… Maybe some members of the other groups would like to argue [*hint hint* I know some of you are reading…] But honestly, my group was involved in one coin flip and we lost that one… went other group… I could’ve had a huge influence on, but didn’t. Then we won the second one and I was satisfied with my newly acquired canvas. Honestly, I liked all the site locations; I believe I could’ve worked with any of them. And they all had they’re down sides to each of them. So, it was pretty ideal situations to use the coin flip. The coin flip… its great! Alright, I gotta waste a few more hours before I have to seriously study. I’ll talk to y’all laterz… possibly later tonight.

Fate Vs. Destiny

Hey everyone, how’s everyone doing? While posting on other blog… I realized that the topics that I talk about; it’s kinda hard or difficult to respond to them. But I need your feed back to further develop them in my own mind, cuz they’re not complete yet. So if anyone is reading this… leave me something… geez. Anyway, I got into a discussion with one of my classmates yesterday, so I figured that I’d post up my theory on the difference between Fate and Destiny.

Well, as you can probably tell, I believe they are two separate things. Fate is not another word for Destiny, vice versa. This example maybe a little choppy, but like I said I’m still working on the theories (posts are good). If you picture life as a “choose your own adventure” book with only one ending, then Fate would be the end of the story. Since it’s a “choose your own adventure” and not a “choose your ending” kinda book, there’s only one way it can end. As stated before, this end is what I would call Fate. This idea of thinking doesn’t leave room for those that believe they have some part in their own life. I believe I have some control in my life, some free will, and I account for this by Destiny. Like a “choose your own adventure” book, there are key checkpoints that you have to hit… how you get to these checkpoints—that’s up to you. Those little points are what I call Destiny. It is your Destiny to get to those checkpoints; you choose your path to get there. Hypothetically, when you have a dilemma in your life and you have two options [most times you have more]… one says turn to page 23 and the other says turn to page 56 and you choose to turn to page 56. Upon reading the result on page 56, it just tells you to turn to page 23… yeah 23 is your Destiny. No matter what path you take, you still hit Destiny among those points, when you reach your Fate… the things you remember, those happen to be your Destiny or checkpoints. Life is a multi-layered path to one goal, when you go up ladders and down stairs… you’re still getting to the goal, maybe you’re taking a detour… maybe you’re taking a shortcut… either way you’re getting there. This applies with my own theory on everyone having a purpose, those checkpoints could have been your purpose, on a higher level, and your Fate is bigger purpose. Does it make sense to anyone? I think it’s pretty clear.

Anyway, when I presented this to her, she made the note that what if there is only one real path, and there was no other path to take… it was just an illusion and responded with the idea that I have no control then, I would like control I think it’s a very good thing. “The problem is choice.” [The Architect, The Matrix: Reloaded]

Then she asked a very valid question, that I’m not going to answer here because I haven’t thought about it enough, she said if religion played a part. Does religion have a factor? I’m not quite sure, on how to answer this… still kinda thinking about it. It’s a very valid question, [Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?]. I'll have to thinking some more on this, you know I’ll post that answer up.

Humans' Worse Problem

Sending another broadcast out into cyberspace… what’s the topic about today? Well, it’s more of a complaint… but not one that can be fixed… so I suppose it’s just an observation.

I’m going to start off with the basis… I believe there is a God and God created human beings. This God is just the idea of God [master and creator of the universe?], not belonging to any particular religion. I admire what God has created; I believe that God created everything on Earth (as well as the rest of the universe). There is one thing that I suppose I would like to remove from one of his creations. I believe the biggest deficiency in humans is…

…

…

…

the necessity of sleeping. Could you image if the world didn’t need to sleep? The amount of productivity that this planet would be able to provide is unimaginable. Scientist could work at all hours of the day and night… there’s no end. Without the need for sleep, and never feeling tired… could you image what this world could do in a matter of weeks? Now, all of those college students and people working on projects… they’re thinking I could get my homework done on time (don’t worry, I was thinking it too), and there’s nothing wrong with that… I would prefer to be educated more than the amount of time that I’m being educated for now… that’s like 4 hours… if professors could pump more information into my mind for a longer period of time, the amount of knowledge that I would have at the age of 21 is incredible. Now, just to show that it’s not all fun and merry things, there are other things that would last longer… things like… WAR. As a human race, if we didn’t have to sleep, we wouldn’t have to stop killing people. There is that possibility, if we (as a human race) never slept or paused, our steadily approach to the final end could come quicker. I can see both sides of the argument, I would just hope that everyone would be productive for at least 18 hours of the day… but that’s still just a dream. This post is mainly based on the fact that I want to just be able to sleep 2 hours and be able to go the next day at 100%. When I’m doing Architecture, I don’t feel sleepy, when I post on here, there’s no sleepiness. In that instance, where I pause… that’s when it hits me like a ton of pillows, it’s not every fun. It’s all the sudden, and that’s never a good feeling. Anyone out there got a cure of sleep? So I don’t have to do it, and still fully functional (and healthy) for the next day. I don’t even sleep to dream anymore… I haven’t remembered a dream in who knows how long… Sleep is a waste of time. When time is the only thing we have to worry about, sleep is the worse deficiency in human beings. “We don’t sleep to dream, we sleep to build stamina” [Mike Shinoda (Fort Minor) Lupe Fiasco, Holly Brook – Be Somebody].

Death

My bad for not posting up last night… I was way too tired for that. Anyways I’m here now, so everyone gather ‘round… Carl’s got something to say.

First off (in response to Steak’s Comment on my last post because it’s relevant here) “yeah... I can see it that way... I just seems when everyone lays down to rest (or even when they lay and look up at the ceiling) … they’re dissatisfied with the life they lived. They always seem like they want to do something that they didn’t. I guess me being so analytical, I can make a choice and then be completely satisfied with it… because I know why I made the choices I made. [Or make choices and understand why I made them] And if I made a mistake… I’m willing to accept my own apologizes for those mistakes. And not to sound too bold… but I think my expectations match my ambitions, and those are pretty high. So for me to be satisfied with my life, I’d have to meet my expectations. [Not having someone here in front of me… I can’t really tell if this is making any sense (that’s why I take a philosophy courses… to make things make sense)… eh… it makes sense to me.] Alright now… back to the topic that I wanted to talk about yesterday…

I took a course in Death and it was a good course. It was a philosophy course and its main focus was the phenomenon… why it happens? ….what happens? …what happens afterwards? Those were the questions that were raised (and never really answered because no one has actually given a first person account of it). I took the class, because I never really dealt with it before… seriously… I just didn’t know anyone close enough to feel the impact of their death. My grandmother passed away when I was way younger… so I can’t really bring the “memory” of what it meant to me. I think I’ve gone so far as to construct a scene in my mind that consists of a coffin, rain, and yellow roses… but I’m not so sure how accurate that really is. The class also brought cases of channeling and mediums, which raised many questions for me. Mediums and people that channel, they always have someone to bring forth to talk to the individual that’s looking for answers… I’ve always wondered who would come forth to speak to me… when I was “at the pearly gates, God let me in” [The Game, Tony Yayo – Runnin’]. I wanted to go see a medium or someone that channels and I couldn’t, not very popular in Chicago… I guess. I made the conclusion that, we are always watched and therefore must try to impress, but that raised the question… who do I have to impress? And I answered that with something that resembles “my angels are here on this plain… those are the individuals that I need to impress,” this idea keeps me striving for better… that and my belief in God. But not like Christians… more like Descartes. [Yes, I know Descartes was Christian; but he never spoke of Jesus (that’s my difficulty with Christianity) in his writings… just God]

Well… that book of knowledge is nothing compared to experience. I had to deal with Death last week. Two people, I knew, passed away. The first was a friend of mine… we weren’t like really-really tight, but I knew him well enough to shed a tear during his service. A couple of hours before his passing… we were at a party. And although I didn’t see him on a consistent basis… it was good to see him again (along with all the other faces that I missed seeing). When I left the party (Sunday [Early] Morning), I told him I’d see him again… figured it would be a while because I’m here at school… pretty much took it for granted. Little did I know… the next time I would see him… he would be in his casket. He passed away only a few hours after I left the party… something happened on his way home (not going to get into the details, it’s not the place for that). Not to over shadow my friend’s passing… my friend’s (different person) father passed away Monday morning. His father and I weren’t buddy-buddy, but he always asked how I was doing… and those things that adults say to students but it was different from when everyone else said it… he was always sincere… always wanted me to work hard… he will be missed. Both individuals were very young in age… it just doesn’t seem right to say something like that. I mean it’s really not nice to say something like if you’re eighty… you’re expendable… you can pass away then. But it was just unnatural for them to pass away at their ages… it just doesn’t fit right.

Death came to our circle of friends twice… I know that each one of us took it very differently. In our group, it was just a different bond for everyone… so obviously it’s going to be different for everyone. That leads to the question… what is the meaning of life. I believe it is to fulfill a purpose… ya really don’t even have to realize what the purpose is… I think it gets completed and then ya pass away. This answer solves that whole question about time… why we pass away when we do? But raises a bigger question… if we all have a purpose… what’s the point of the human race as a whole? Progress? What’s the point of progress when there isn’t going to be life forever? My Death professor made that comment to me… the more knowledge we attain, the more questions we have. I still stand by my idea that our purpose of life is to fulfill our purpose, whatever it may be. Whatever our purpose is… we (as a human race) will progress… what happens after that… I really haven’t thought about it… I’m sure I’ll get back on that subject sometime soon… hopefully… Well as it would seem… it’s late… and I’ve run out of things to say… but I know there was more… I know I’ll revisit this subject again… maybe progress will be made…

Tipping on pre-cognition (...negative?)

So I presented my font (for Architecture), by the way... that's what we're working on, and I must say it was just satisfactory. Apparently (after talking to a few classmates), I came off as defensive and not taking well to criticism. I guess my only real rebuttal would be that I already knew the flaws in my work and I had an explanation for it. For example, I didn't like the material I was using and how it was reacting to my marking utensil. When someone said something about my work, I had already pre-thought an answer to how I would answer such a question. At the end of the class... I said something that was very "bold" to say, I said "you can't tell me something that I already thought of." Yeah... that didn't go over well. But realistically, I did see the flaws in my work and I pre-thought my answer to the question. Isn't that what they tell you to prepare for? Me, and my analytical ass, apparently went a little overboard. But really, nothing was said that I didn't think of last night as I was doing it or as I was looking it over. And plus, I stand by the design of my font and will defend it until the end or else I'd scrap the whole design unless it can be improved upon-then there is an exception. I'm always willing to see a different view, and I do believe I am open to criticism. Perhaps someone's view of the world or something as simple as why they prefer something over another. If something is shown to me that I didn't notice before, I'm hungry for it. Like the saying goes... "Hungry for knowledge, here it is... EAT IT!" I guess I do that many times with other things, for example in a normal conversation let's say that someone says "hey what are you up to," I may answer with "oh just hanging about... about to do some work... pretty much in architecture... but after that I'm free to do something if you wanna." Hopefully you can see the questions that would fit in between my words (what are you doing later? what kind of work? when you gonna be done with that?). But it's like I thought the conversation out and gave the final point all in one verse. I guess when I conduct a conversation and its meaningful (or going to be used beyond today's date) I slow down. Like if I was talking about Philosophy... I’d slow down the process and let those expected questions be asked. But if the conversation is about shallow topics or gossip I just skip of the wasted breath. Maybe that's why I don't conversate well with some certain individuals... Something to think about later on. "I believe I see things 10 steps ahead of the average."

This kinda goes to the comment that was mentioned by b. I believe that I am the hardest on myself because I am my own worst enemy. It brings me to the point of hating the fact that I am human (automatically, I'm flawed). I would love to be essentially perfect, but the fact that I don't know something or about a certain subject tears me apart. And really there can't be two perfect beings (given that God exists and God is perfect, well get into that some other day) because that might throw off the balance in the universe. But remember what Descartes says, even if you can't be perfect you can always try. Even though he sees the world as perfect... why then would you encourage to be better, wouldn't that throw off the balance. I would say that Descartes believed that only a few would listen and therefore it would balance out. If some were deliberately bad vs. those that were trying to achieve better, then it would remain balanced. Alright off of that tangent, back to the question from b. Yeah, by choice I prefer to be my own worst enemy. No one thinks less of me, more than I think less of myself. I would rather have it; I hate myself more than someone else hates me. That makes sense to you out there in cyberspace?

Anyways y'all... I'm gettin' kinda hungry so Imma eat and I'll probably be back posting later tonight... possibly-No promises though, I only promise what I can manage.