Live Free or Die Hard

I saw Live Free or Die Hard last night; well… technically it was this morning. You know the midnight show thang. I thought it was good, entertaining to say the least. Most of the action is over-the-top, but then again that’s why we go… to see an everyman kill some people. And it still remains true; the world needs John McClane (Bruce Willis). I’ve been mulling over something for a while and this related so well, I figure now’s a good time to talk about it.

*Disclaimer* Don’t worry there aren’t any spoilers, I wouldn’t do that to you. *Disclaimer*

There’s a scene where Matt Farrell (Justin Long, the Mac Guy) is having a panic attack, its right at the beginning and he says “I’m just not that guy.” He’s talking heroics and how he’s different than John McClane because he’s… well… he’s “just not that guy.” And John has a little speech I’m not going to repeat because I’ll butcher the dialogue (and it is done so very well), but the point is he (John) is just who he is by nature. Nothing special, he didn’t go and take special classes for this stuff… it’s just him and who he is. He goes and says more in the speech I’m not going to repeat out of fear that I may crucify the script. Either way, that scene made a definite impression on me and the theme appears throughout the film.

If I could just Live Free, I wouldn’t have all these complications in my life. I’m finding it difficult to be happy (or maybe, its content) with my choices. As a given, if I didn’t have a million things stressing me out then life would be much easier. Maybe I’m making it all too difficult, doesn’t seem like any one else carries this much of a burden.

And if I let everything go, would I then be no longer me? Maybe if I gave up this weight I wouldn’t be who I am. Is it possible that by nature (or what I was born with, whatever you wanna say), it is my duty to carry the weight of the world? And if I decided to give up this responsibility, would I ultimately be giving up myself?

Furthermore, are there no other options? Is there no gray area, some in-between? Option C?
Is that then the choice… to Live Free or Die Hard?

Pirates of The Caribbean - At World's End

Just stopping in for a quickie… I saw Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End last night. I enjoyed it, it wasn’t as complex as the others but that’s okay… maybe that part of itself will show through after the viewings I have lined up. Most of it was predictable to me, but that’s just me.

There are a few parts in the movie that struck a cord with me. Stemming from my last post, about being a fan of your significant other and how that’s the only way to be, I think there’s a great example of that in the film. Actually, the moment happens twice, but I won’t spoil it for you. There was another commentary about relationships that I also wanted to note. Making a major decision without your significant others knowledge, and does it automatically lead to oneself not being trustworthy from the perspective of your significant other? I haven’t really decided on what I think about this, but it’s brought up in the film. You know how Elizabeth Swann handcuffs Captain Jack to the Black Pearl at the end of Deadman’s Chest to send him to Davy Jones’ locker… well it’s obvious someone was gonna address it, but long story short it gets brought up. At the heart of Pirates, if it isn’t obvious, it’s a story about love… love for the sea, love for another, love for oneself (not necessarily in that order, but that could be something interesting to explore). Either way, just wanted to give a heads up and make sure everyone was looking out for that. Oh, and there’s a little thang after the credits, like the rest of the Pirates films.

I’ll probably post some more text after another a couple of viewings, this was just some initial stuff.

Hanged

Hey all, sorry I've been MIA, but I’m back. “Coincidence? I think not.” This Linkin Park CD comes at a good time for me, as their CDs always have. Their sound is different, but I find it still calming. Initially, I like “Leave Out All The Rest,” “Shadow Of The Day,” and “Hands Held High,” as my top favorites. That’s just my little shout-out, moving forward.

Recently, I just got into a discussion about self-sacrifice. We were talking about Spider-Man 3 and how as an attribute of an individual willing to self-sacrifice, that individual doesn’t ask for any help. They just bear the weight of the world on their shoulders, ask no questions and take no aid. I argued it wasn’t in Spider-Man’s character, as a self sacrifice-r to ask. You don’t see Batman asking for help, nope, he believes it’s his responsibility to do it. [He takes Robin’s aid, but only to train him, to be his successor] Thus the Spider-Man underlying theme “With great power comes great responsibility.” And this is because no one else is going to do it. Then, due to recent events, I was under the belief these individuals are ultimately alone. How can these individuals be truly happy if they self-sacrifice? Is it possible to be happy when you know the world isn’t? And if you’re never happy, can you achieve oneness with someone?

I think it is possible, but difficult. The only marriages I see ever lasting are those individuals that are fans of one another. [Maybe this is obvious to everyone else, but I just didn’t get it.] I think to truly be with someone, you have to be their fan first. You have to be into what they do. Beyond their exterior, doesn’t a person’s essence make them interesting? If that individual has the same drive they did before they were in a tragic scarring accident, would you still turn to leave them because of the physical features? I think the reason why people separate after accidents or arguments is because they aren’t or don’t appear to be the same person. This leads to no longer being attracted or out-of-love; however you want to phrase it. Sorry for the tangent, but what I’m trying to say is the only way self-sacrifice-rs can be with someone is if they are fan, and that someone is a fan of them. They exist in love the same way as anyone else, that’s how they can be with someone and a self-sacrifice-r. Now if you believe this, can a self-sacrifice-r be with someone that isn’t?

But this is what I expect of myself…

“I think you’re really intelligent, but…"

“-you can’t prove it”

“don’t be so hard on your self”

“-I’m not impressed”

“you’re only a student”

“-you’re [a perceived mature age]”

“you’re just [a perceived young age]”

“-everything before ‘but’ means nothing.”

“no one expects you to be perfect”

[Above: Quotes that I have been given to me at one point or another…]

“To the pressure for success can put a good strain / On a friend you call best, and yet it could bring / Out the worst in every person; even the good—insane.” [(Nas), Jay-Z – Black Republican] Following the format of quotes, I’m beginning this blog with three lines of lyric from Jay-Z—with the hope that somewhere there is something, although truthfully I’m not sure what I’m not looking for… just the answer.

That beginning-of-a-sentence, the one at the very top of the page, is just about the most disappointing sentence that could possibly be spoken. I hope no one ever has it said to them, because they have the power to stop a person dead in their tracks. For me, I attach faces saying those words. I close my eyes and the memory wakes me, pushing me forward.

It’s true:
I know I would’ve… but I
I know I could’ve… but I
I know I should’ve… but I

“Remember, nothing before ‘but’ means anything…”

I know what it is… and I know what it isn’t. That’s what it has been, up to this point. I’m sick of being disappointed; more so, I’m sick of being disappointed with myself. And I don’t know how to change. It’s true, “pressure is not your friend,” but how do we make it go away? Is there a way of adjusting the perception so pressure is motivation? What is there to do when every where we turn, we are reminded on what we could’ve achieved but didn’t? [My mind is a prison… Am I the only one feeling this?]

There’s this phenomenon called the “Sophomore Slump,” it refers to an artist(s) high-anticipated second album falling short of the first. Does anyone have an answer to why this happens? Is it the pressure from the label on the artist? Or is it the pressure within? I’m trying not to feel so alone? But with success amongst my peers, what else am I suppose to feel? I don’t even feel like I’m doing the best I can, a part of me knows I can do better. I can be better, but how (and when)?

***

“Hov, how you get so fly” / I said from not being afraid to fall out the sky” [Jay-Z, (Chris Martin) – Beach Chair]
It would take me days to fully analyze and speak on this song… every verse has more depth than any ocean... but maybe that's the answer I've been waiting for

No Comment

Funny thing about perspective… it comes from the strangest places.

I wrote something last week and I spoke about knowing the full story before you speak… I find myself in discussions that I know little about. I suppose I didn’t really understand what I was saying until I took a look at myself, maybe a little detail and some residual self-image.

Maybe it’s just what is expected of me or the way I carry myself, but my opinion is expected to be voiced at any and all times. In some particular topics, I don’t have one. I’m sorry… I’m trying, but I may not up-to-date or whatever it may be. I suppose it’s a fault of being human, probably something that is nearing the status of hatred in my book, but sometimes I don’t have an opinion. But now, here’s the killer…

I voice anyway…

sucks…

doesn’t it?

Now, you’re probably thinking, “just don’t, and it’ll be fine.” Oh, but I have to keep this up. When a teacher asks you a question, is the appropriate answer “I don’t know?” Have you ever really tried it? I never have, but quite frankly, all they want you to do is at least try. Now, I’m not saying what they want you should do, but c’mon… you’d try right? So when your peers ask your opinion and all eyes on you here, would you be satisfied with “I don’t know?” After some long speech about how much your significant other loves you and they count the ways, what would you do? “Yeah, I love you too”… hmmm… I don’t think that’s gonna be enough. Maybe that’s just me here, but I suppose one should respond something with a bit more substance… but maybe that’s just me.

I know a couple of little fishes that don’t have a problem with not saying anything. They’re just swimming along and taking it all in, no doubt keeping it in their bottomless pit of knowledge and experience. I suppose some would describe them as passive, but it’s what they don’t say, that’s what people should be worried about. [Maybe I’m not wrong in speaking when it’s needed, and they’re guilty of saying nothing when something needs to be said.] Its okay, their slightly prone to exaggeration, if that doesn’t balance it out some. I think this admiration that I’m detailing is with a dash of jealousy. If I could be more internal, it would keep me out of many difficult situations. I suppose it’s my wicked tongue that gets me into trouble. This hunter should learn to shoulder his firearm… or grab a big net and go on a little trip. No… but seriously, every now and again, I have to pocket my blade and leave it holstered.

It’s bad to toast with water, and alcohol doesn’t do too well for you anyways, but cheers…

to speaking when it’s appropriate.

Plans Change

There’s got to be a way to do this… a way where I’m not posting every 3 weeks, but never mind that. Let’s just get right to it.

I've never claimed to know everything; in fact, I believe this blog is a breathing example of me wanting to know more—about everything. Personally, I don’t believe one should ever settle. I don’t believe it’s ever possible to be completely content in all areas of life—from matters of the heart to aspects of an occupation. I mean really, how can someone be completely content with everything? [There may be a contradiction in the next few lines, and I’m warning you now.] Following the same train of thought, I believe never to close all doors. It is a good thing to strive for what you believe is best, there are also times where what you think is the best isn’t at all what it should be. Remember, you could be wrong.

I see myself being asked, “How can you put so much faith when you’re not entirely sure if you’re correct?” You know what, I think someone did ask me this… if my memory serves me well. I don’t remember what my exact response was, [something like “you have to believe in something” rings a bell] but it was along the lines of “… if there is no belief in any thing, then there is no reason to strive for anything.” I suppose that answer is probably a truism, and probably one of those things people never know how to respond to.

Either way, “keeping an open mind” is what I’m trying to say. It’s difficult to be completely set on a single idea and not hear other possibilities. The same as it is in Architecture, what we once believed is absolute may end up being the worst possibility. Put effort and time in the things that you believe, live in honesty, love fully and faithfully… and always keep an open mind. [Someone’s supposed to ask “how is it possible to love fully and faithfully when keeping an open mind to other options,” but trust me, there’s a way] The only thing that is set in stone is the past. Our individual histories make us who we are, if everyone believes that then we’d be better off. Some people never want to take responsibility for their lives, it’s always someone else’s fault… although that may be true, time and weathering has made you who you are.

Never settle, never shut all doors, because sometimes…

Do Good

It’s been a while since I've written and I apologize for that, I've been staying pretty busy. I put down couple of concepts for movies and kicked off a few things. The start of school is just around the corner and I see that train coming when I close my eyes, the only thing I can do is knuckle up and prepare. So, consider this the calm before the storm, a little ode to education.

I read a quote today… well I read quotes everyday, but I’d like to share this one. “The eyes of the future are looking back at us and they are praying for us to see beyond our own time.” [Terry Tempest Williams] Take a moment to digest that… I should repeat it for good measure, but that’s not necessary. I kinda handicapped myself, because the point of a quote is to state your claim in one shot and not have to say anything else. But I vow never to be speechless so…

In whatever you choose to do in life, think about the future of this world. I was having a discussion with one of my friends… about something materialistic, commenting of the value of a product and the company it represents—it was about clothing, anti-sweatshops and buying genuine. And my other friend, not the one I was directly speaking to, says “Carl, you complain too much.” I’m aware of this, I know… but it’s because I see so much room for improvement, so much potential never actualized. It’s really quite depressing when I think about it, so maybe my defense mechanism is to complain. I ended up responding with “The world isn’t perfect.” And he quickly said “exactly!” I looked at him and said “how can you expect to change anything when you don’t know what’s wrong?” My choice of words may have been a bit off, perhaps “wrong” was not the right word to use. But that’s what I said and there was no conversation after that. And I chose not to follow through.

That choice… well let’s just say it’s lost potential. I wanted to look at him, like I was burning a hole past the innocently guilty, and beg for him to believe he can change the world. I’d never ask anyone to be on a mission alone, and this “change the world” is no exception.

At the Chicago Architecture Foundation, my 9-to-5, we took the internship high school students to the Apple Computer store on Michigan Ave [they intern at Architecture Firms, some pretty big names too]. They gave us a great lecture of business and design, how to integrate both. It was good for the students, to finally realize when a client approaches them with a design problem and how they convert that into Architecture. The presenter left us with a commercial and I’d like to share it with all of you. [Thanks for the great network of www.youtube.com for this one]



I’d like to highlight that last bit… “Because the people, who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” Many wishfully look to the heavens and say “Save Me” [to the tune of Cartel’s song of the same name], but instead of waiting to be saved why can’t you be a saviour to the future, and the rest of this world.

Hunger

As you probably [hopefully] already know, a great number of intelligent beings have graced the surface of this planet. [Galileo, Newton, and Einstein, just to name a few (not undermining Copernicus, Descartes, Freud, or anyone one else for that matter)] Each of these great individuals has left something behind. It is within human nature to record what we discover, cave paintings and this blog is pure example of this.

Some people have made the comment: there is nothing left to build because all the styles in architecture have already been processed. Furthermore, some people have said that there is nothing left to discover, because someone has already discovered it. This is when innovation is of the utmost importance. As an argument for the attainment of knowledge, by knowing what has already been done can we truly reach a higher tier. Often times, the student surpasses the teacher; after learning everything the teacher has to offer, isn’t it just obvious that one would reach beyond their scope? Socrates was a great teacher, but Plato was a great student. All great scholars left text, records and materials. Why do we have history courses? Why is it that in every course of study taken anywhere, on anything, we study the past? In physics, we study Newton’s three laws. In philosophy, we study Aristotle’s Ethics. Our nation (and all nations), poised in a position to grow, must learn the teachings of the past.

Why? Because we have this luxury; in America, and other first world countries, we are not concerned with our basic survival. Here, it’s almost taken for granted. The majority of us don’t need to worry about our next meal. America’s biggest question is… should I go to McDonald’s or Burger King. In hopes to help our fellow human race, we must understand the conclusions made in the past and move forward through innovation. I may have not figured out why we need to be together, but I believe to fully reach our potential as a human race we need to be on the same page. I believe there is one goal, and it requires one team... or else we’re just competing against ourselves.

Why The World Needs Superman

I totally saw Superman Returns last night, at the IMAX… and it was GREAT!!! [I’m postponing this post so some people can see it, but I definitely saw it June 27, 2006 @ 10:00 PM in 3D] Now so much discussion has led me to post about superheroes and why we/I love them so. What is it about those colorful characters flying/running around in spandex? Any normal individual that does that would get… a peculiar glance, if not a few items thrown in their general direction. Maybe it’s the zero-to-hero or the outcasts that are so much cooler than the regulars. Maybe it’s the need to escape from reality into fantasy or the need to believe in something that is quite all together impossible. Maybe we just like the good vs. evil. Or, maybe, we just like the powers.
As you’ve probably already guessed, I have a particular reason why I love these superheroes so much. I’ve been running around dubbing it the Hero’s Complex, I’m not quite sure if that’s a proper term or not, but that’s what I’m referring to it as.
The Hero’s Complex is simply a connection with a greater good/cause.

1. Save The World


2. Battle Evil


3. Leave Behind Personal Wants And Needs

Why do I love Wolverine? Because he knows he will always outlive any woman he comes across, so he cuts them off [literally and figuratively.] He also has a tendency to be the killer of his lover...
Why do I love Spider-Man? Because he puts his life on the line to save ordinary people, and because of this, has difficulty maintaining a “normal”/stable life. If Spider-Man unveils his true identity, they will kill Mary Jane Watson and any other lover for that matter.
Why do I love Batman? Because he works at night and no woman wants that. But more importantly, he does it because he can and not because he has to.
Why do I love Superman? Because he came to Earth alien, but is more human than anyone else. Putting on the human façade everyday, I mean physically putting it on, it’s something all together different than most other heroes. He’s here to show humans how to live. And like the fore mentioned superheroes, he’ll outlive all of the people he knows. This sets them behind a wall that only love can conquer. But they choose the other path; instead of giving into what they want, they do what is best for all. [And yes heroes do find love in other heroes, but many times it ends in tragedy.] And I can relate to that.

The Rain

Evening. I meant to post on this topic last night, on the anniversary of… oops… almost let that one slip. No names, I almost forgot my own rules. Anyways… where was I? Ah yes, it is April. And the first fall of the heavy rain, is/was tonight. The rain… it has brought me a couple of stormy days/nights but I still look to the rain to replenish everything on Earth. Tonight’s topic is kind of a two-part integrated comment/advice blog, so prepare for it to be quite vague… but you’ll catch my drift (if the flood doesn’t drown it out).

I’ve had a couple of rough days in the rain; the rain hasn’t always been so nice to me. In another century, I've had a number of days that the rain couldn’t fall any harder. It made me follow a different path and travel down the strange road. In the rain, I lost my way many times down the same path. I've done unaccountable amounts of stupidity in the rain. Time and time again, the rain has burdened me… its heavy weight crushing me with each droplet of acid, burning to leave scars. Nevertheless, I am still here. And from this, what have I learned? The rain will do funny things to you, but beyond its dreary façade… what you truly know is underneath it all.

I've lost my way quite a few times, and I've continued to push in the wrong direction… knowing that it would only lead to me having to back-track. I’m here to bless you with my experience, maybe you have something to gain from what I've done—in the rain.

Something was said to me many years ago in the rain, and well, it led me to believe that something was meant to change on that day. As it rained, the words that were exchanged filled my heart with happiness, ignoring the facts of the calendar. This ignorance left a wound that now has been healed, but leaves a scar—the same as all wounds that are cut deep enough.

A few years ago, I made a decision to do something—blinded by the rain. On the anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, I put love against nature. I wouldn’t recommend it; it was not a pretty sight and caused quite a few more repercussions than I was prepared for. But alas, I’m still here… so it couldn’t be as bad as the Massacre. Just chalk up another scar.

Recently, this… story continued with another day of rain. As the rain fell, I didn’t know it was happening. Blinded, I continued to walk down this, now familiar path. Book II (or III?), I believe/hope, has now ended. This is a bit sparse in detail, let’s just say…:

We all do these things... we make these elaborate stories in our mind, a view of the situation that we can only see / take a look at what’s really there... what has been really said / as true intentions will reveal themselves

That was taken from a conversation I had. I hope just that little excerpt will help convey what I’m trying to say. This conversation was far deeper than I intended it to be. I believe it may have helped me more than whom it was intended for, and as always… there’s a twist, but this one… will not be revealed when the rain stops.

My apologizes… for being so vague, when it comes to these matters… they must be. In closing, don’t follow down a path of your own created images. Your mind has the power to destroy you, without ever inflicting any physical wounds. Remember that after the rain, there’s a rainbow… sometimes its just too dark to see, but its there. I’ve obviously had more rainy day experience then I would like to relive and with all that, you’d think that I’d hate the rain—but I don’t. I always remember the rain washes away all that doesn’t stain too deeply. It’s just necessary—for all of Earth’s inhabitants to grow.

Love Is...

Welcome… everyone. I’ll be honest; I’m out here second guessing myself again. Thought I had it all sorted out? The problem lies in the doors I left open. I was told once that I fear falling in love. I’d say I’d welcome it, but I’ll do nothing about it. So really what’s the point then? I've thought about love on many occasions. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I think I got some important information to consider. So here it is, my love definition.

So it’s quite clear that everyone is looking for love… well it seems that way. But honestly, what are we looking for? How do we define love? [Take note… we] If you didn’t notice, there are different degrees for love. Is there something like true love? How is that different than real love? Are they the same thing? If they were… why do we define them differently? All the answers will come in good time. As always, we’ll start with dictionary.com.

love P Pronunciation Key (l(image placeholder)v)n.

• A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. [Sense of Underlying Oneness… nicely put.]


• A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.


• 
  


• Sexual passion.


• Sexual intercourse.


• A love affair.


• An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.


• A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.


• An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.


• 
  


• A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.


• The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.


• Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.


• often Love Christianity. Charity.


• Sports. A zero score in tennis.

All strong definitions, I suppose… but how do we differentiate? Is it left to the individual? I think that’s really what it is. I can give you general thoughts about love but it really comes down to a person to decide the difference. That’s what I suppose is most difficult (I’ll explain later). But hey listen… before my definition of love was “Like a chamber of the heart, one cannot live without (insert name).” This included family, friends, and significant others. I've since adjusted this in my mind; I still believe it’s true; I need something that defines what we live with and what love really is. And as I was rolling this around in my mind, I wanted to include this idea of “love at first sight.” [Yeah, I’m still a dreamer so I gotta include this.] I think my first definition is good, but it takes times to consider something a chamber of the heart. So, I said “alright, what adjustment can I make that will include the occurrence of love at first sight?” Then it hit me, when I think of something like a painting or architecture or a poem… there’s an instant where it just fills you up with joy; and when you learn more about it… the more you like it. And if you learn something about it and it turns you off… you no longer like it. So what I’m trying to say is… emotion can happen at an instance; there’s this feeling that overtakes an individual. And its love when the more you learn about it, the more you like/appreciate/love it. Agreed? Because seriously, the more you learn about something if you learn something you don’t like, there’s no happy emotion about it. There’s no respect, no love, no like, no crush, nothing. When ya learn something you like about it, the love only grows. I think this would account for “love at first sight.” And yes, it takes time to realize this still, but it allows for it to happen in an instance. Someone can fall in love at an instance and not even realize it, until they start learning more about it. When they realize they like it more and more, then it is or was always love.

The reason why this is so important to me is because I overuse the word. I love this (I hate this) or I love that (I hate that)… I gotta define it. I have to find a definition. And really, it’s up to me to decide the difference between paternal love and kinship love and significant other love. I think the hardest to differentiate is friendship love with the opposite [or your sexual interest… for you political correct peoples] sex and significant other love. Does it simply come down to sexual attraction to make the difference? If you look back at the dictionary.com definition, there are two blunt occurrences of sex (2 & 3). And maybe that’s it… I don’t know. What’s not mentioned is the growth of sexual attraction. Just one day ya wake up from some dream state that you don’t want to leave and realize that you’re sexually attracted to your friend. Don’t believe it, never happened; maybe you just don’t have sexy friends. Hehheh… I’m just kidding; but it does happen. Need an example? “Lovers And Friends” Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris. What was that? You need another one… alright… “My Love Don’t Stop” Craig David. There, [both involve sex by the way] enough said.

And yes, it doesn’t always happen on its own. It seems to always take a blunt/clever/daring (whatever you wanna call ‘em) friend to point out one’s obsession with the friend of the same sexual interest. It doesn’t always happen this way, but many times it has/will… someone says something and you start looking at the person (in question) in a different light.

The difference between Love, Lust, Infatuation, and Obsession… well that’s another time.

Halloween, just costumes and candy?

Hey everyone… how is everyone doin’? I hope no one has anything to complain about.

Chen Li in her response reminds me of a very valid point, if there is anything that I talk about (I understand people don’t read the same material) and ya don’t understand… please let me know (or you can do some research of your own… 10,000 pages of information at your fingertips). You’ve found my page… I’m sure there are more pages to find.

Allhollows Eve… the day before All Saints’ Day, today is/was devoted to young pranksters. Well that’s what it was… now it’s just Halloween. As I grow older the fun of Halloween begins to fade… and I haven’t been dressing up like I used to do when I was younger and do that whole trick or treatin’ thing. Today, well more like Friday I found the inspiration to be someone that I am not. Then when I was deciding who I was dressing up to be, I realized that today is really the only day where it is acceptable to blatantly acceptable to put a mask on your face and have everyone accept it as your face. I know some(/most?) people put a “mask” on everyday, but today it’s different because it is more prominent. It just stands out more, today we’re allowed to “doing something crazy” and “be someone we’re not” (or that we wish to be). So I wonder, when we put these “costumes” on, are we really just showing our true nature or rather “what we want to be”? People dress up in comic book characters or as characters from movies, vampires, witches, and many various other forms. Some dress up as playboy bunnies and others dress up as cows. I think some people that choose their own costume (not influenced by a group or friend); tend to choose costumes that are merely a reflection of themselves. When I was younger, I chose a Vampire at one point, then I chose Jason, and various other “villains;” I believe I chose believe that I would’ve been, if I wasn’t bound to the limits of society. It’d be that hunter in the night, feared by many and always alone. Now I’m older and what have I chosen to be today, I chose Seraph from Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions. I chose the guardian of The Oracle and protector of Sati. When I analyze it down, Seraph, mythically a 6 winged being that has surpassed the rank of angels, makes a lot of sense that I would choose him. Taken in the context of the movie, he is the warrior [that has clashed with Agent Smith on the battlefield before, and defeated him then but loses the battle when Smith is multiplied] that is evenly matched with the One, once worked for the Merovingian and now simply the guardian of the Oracle (the individual that brings unbalance to the system, tips the scale to humans against her counterpart the Architect) and Sati (the individual that is daughter that has no purpose because she is made of love between her two parents, her father who recycles the dead human pods to feed the new human pods and her mother creator of the interactive programs such as the Merovingian, the Oracle, and the Agents. Her parents are machines that cannot exist without human beings. Sati may be the real glue and prim example of their love for both worlds Human and Machine ::side note:: it appears she is able to manipulate the weather as well judging by the rain that begins to fall after she is absorbed by Smith and the beautiful sky portrait she paints for Neo). Now after all that, I sit back and kinda think… is that really me? Seraph once worked for the Merovingian and well the part of my name Tainted would be the acceptance of that premise. Guardian of the “one that is willing to shake things up”… yeah, that sounds like me. Protector of the “love and unison of two worlds’ humans and [technology]”… I think I try to keep get the humans to be “stronger” through the use of technology. I've fought with the units of control (the Agents) on various “battlefields.” And for the last question… probably the toughest and controversial question… am I as evenly matched with the One? That question I don’t believe I’m going to answer, I don’t think there’s any real way to answer it… Time will tell. Until Time opens that storybook, I am in “costume” as Seraph.