Vibe Out in the New Year

I know most citizens of the United States are broke right now, and yeah that sucks, but you know things could be worse. I'm not hear to bring everyone down, I'm actually here to bring everyone up. Like Obama said, "it's time for a change."

This morning, I read something truly inspiring and I'd like to share it with you but some background information is needed. Excuse me while I take care of this now.

Plenty of people have this fear of 2012, and they say it'll be the end of the world. I'm a bit more optimistic and only say that it is an end to the world as we know it. I believe it is an end to the "cold" worldview that many seem to think is only possible. A "do no evil" policy seems to be upon us all. I see evidence for this in nearly every sector of "American Life."

Obama's slogan "change, we can believe in" to Google's dominance in the stock market, are pieces of this new mentality.

Our President-Elect is also a symbol of this new wave. He ran (and won!) with a campaign that ultimately said "yes, we can." The emphasis on "we," that somehow no matter how different we are from one another we are tied together and our fates are intertwined. And now that the majority has ruled, 58% of the voting public believes in this same ideal. Together, we will shape Washington; more importantly, together, we can do anything we choose to do. And it isn't just political.

The businesses have invoked a "new" capitalism, if you will, a holistic approach. A capitalism that is driven on the product and not the profit. Virgin is steady gaining speed in the States, and they're philanthropic tendencies are infectious. Apple, now at the height of its success, is lending a hand to those also reaching for the brass ring. There are countless developers making over $250,000 off of iPhone apps and cost at next to nothing to produce. Google's Android OS looks to do the same thing, but their helping hands can be seen elsewhere--YouTube is one example, their environmentally friendly offices is another. [What I'm calling a "new" capitalism, is actually a retrograde to what capitalism originally was but I'll save that for another post.] Yes, companies are failing and falling but when examined, those companies were desperately trying to grind out a profit instead of a good product.

Even Iron Man, the comic book character, is an example of this. The billionaire war monger takes it upon himself to suit-up and "protect those that he put in harm's way." This idea and character resonates with viewers but Marvel's recent success, I'd argue, can also be attributed to their attempt to put forth a positive image in the movie industry. Making decisions about product before profits has lead them to be a successful new start-up. Not to overshadow that fact that they were first to receive the Environmental Media Association stamp, at the end of the Incredible Hulk. They've become the new standard, and it stretches beyond the film industry.

[Sorry the extended tangent, but I felt that it was needed.]

It appears to me now, the only way a company will succeed is when that company relies on its content and not it's potential profit. Though profit is not to be ignored, we are after all a capitalistic society, success is measured by a brand's core values. Also necessary, is a way of giving back to the world. Using their own profits to help others in need, I believe, is a trend that will not fade.

<SocialVibe>

SocialVibe is program/app used in conjunction with your social network. You advertise a brand you like and every time someone visits your page, that brand donates to a cause of your choice. You help them advertise, they donate for you. This program is a pure example of what I'm talking about. Not only does it let "broke" people donate to their cause, it promotes a brand that is willing to lend a helping hand. The brand's kickback is an active advertiser, but also a positive outlook.

But that was the inspiring thing I saw yesterday. Today, I read something different. One of SocialVibes newest member said this:

"I'm supporting my cause because I feel that I am privileged to be able to sit at home and be on Facebook or MySpace and that someone else can benefit from it as well"

That just warms the heart. His cause is the Starlight Children's Foundation and he's my kid brother. That's the future, the world after 2012, that I see. He and his friends are an inspiring example to us all.

You can visit his SV page. Help him and his cause by visiting his Facebook, and find your cause here.

ps... you can find me too.

Teaching America

To be regarded as good as those that have come before, one must be better than what we have seen. Last year's post, America is dead, was commenting on the state of affairs in this country. This year's "state of the union" address is going to be about how to move forward, where we go from here. In my own life, in order to move forward and stay on course, I always return to essence and origin. Questions like "how did I get here" and "why am I here", ultimately lead to "where do I go now?" So, how did this country get to where we are...


Well, to be frank, we've headed in this direction for quite sometime and its not a result of recent events. It is within the human condition to control our environments; businessmen sought out to control their environment and also, their capital gains--after all it is a capitalistic society. We wanted a smaller government and in that exchange, the government chose not to regulate health care, establish education and provide leadership. Communist and socialist societies were the first to establish universal health care, it does not allow for a doctor to make more money from his craft than another doctor, but it is overseen by a group or faction. Comparatively, a drug company can't charge more for a "better" drug but the government sets a higher standard to the drugs produced. Whether its good or bad, our the health care is regulated (in some small form) by the government. Here, in our democracy, they are regulated by the FDA, FCC and other such associations. But the problem with this system is, it asks for the absolute bare minimum. Don't kill the patient (or rather... client or consumer), and every other side effect is okay. "Above minimum", for drugs, is a bit scary to think about; but further more, for lawyers, educators and doctors its even more terrifying. For context, the lawyer you're paying to represent you in a case against your former doctor (who wanted just enough on his MCATs to get into Med School) for malpractice received a score high enough to pass the BAR exam. Like the majority of professionals in this country, they were looking to get enough to average standardized tests and achieve passing grades. What those mediocre teachers did not tell you in school, if you are better than everyone else you'll be heavily rewarded. Our education system does not reflect this, we're given grades and anything above an "E" is passing. This bare minimum system has shaped the way we (meaning together, whole, more than one) are.



So why get an A? This lesson is not taught until you plan on going to college, and not as severely as the rest of the world. If that's your course of action, then your performance matters enough to drive you criminally insane. [History Lesson/Sidebar: Hilter didn't have the "grades" to get into Art school and look how well he turned out.] "Oh, you want to get into the best schools, GREAT! How's your GPA? SAT? ACT?" So now, at the average age of 14, you're encouraged to change the way you've gone through academics your entire life, now you've got to motivate yourself to be the best--on your own. That's great and all, but a little too late. I mean, you've never had to do that before; and when you were the best, did you get anything for it? Not likely. The system is designed to separate those that can motivate themselves from those that cannot (the great American lesson), instead of motivating every student individually. What ever happened to encouraging students to do what they wanted to do? So what do you get, a high school diploma that says "you received (at least) the bare minimum? Thanks, but no thanks. The education system should encourage finding your passion and feeding that fire, instead of making you into a mark on a state score sheet.

To their credit, universities do have a personal statement portion of their application. That saves them, somewhat, from having to deal with hordes of bare minimum prospects (but then again, a focused two weeks could pump out a pretty good/coherent pile of bullshit if I really put my efforts to it.) The problem is, this is the first time we're asked what we want to do, academically. That's why the personal statement becomes the most difficult part of the entry, instead of the easiest.

"Wait, what do you mean? What do I want to do?"

So you see our mediocrity, as a nation, is a result of our education system. This may sound a bit communist, or socialist, but Russia is still expanding their transit system and building more public spaces. And the Japanese, well, they're driving their universally health-cared ass in 70+ mpg vehicles. Other than flying to the moon and being a "backward" country, do you know what else they have in common? A government that will pay students for going to school... if you can get into the university.

Hunger

As you probably [hopefully] already know, a great number of intelligent beings have graced the surface of this planet. [Galileo, Newton, and Einstein, just to name a few (not undermining Copernicus, Descartes, Freud, or anyone one else for that matter)] Each of these great individuals has left something behind. It is within human nature to record what we discover, cave paintings and this blog is pure example of this.

Some people have made the comment: there is nothing left to build because all the styles in architecture have already been processed. Furthermore, some people have said that there is nothing left to discover, because someone has already discovered it. This is when innovation is of the utmost importance. As an argument for the attainment of knowledge, by knowing what has already been done can we truly reach a higher tier. Often times, the student surpasses the teacher; after learning everything the teacher has to offer, isn’t it just obvious that one would reach beyond their scope? Socrates was a great teacher, but Plato was a great student. All great scholars left text, records and materials. Why do we have history courses? Why is it that in every course of study taken anywhere, on anything, we study the past? In physics, we study Newton’s three laws. In philosophy, we study Aristotle’s Ethics. Our nation (and all nations), poised in a position to grow, must learn the teachings of the past.

Why? Because we have this luxury; in America, and other first world countries, we are not concerned with our basic survival. Here, it’s almost taken for granted. The majority of us don’t need to worry about our next meal. America’s biggest question is… should I go to McDonald’s or Burger King. In hopes to help our fellow human race, we must understand the conclusions made in the past and move forward through innovation. I may have not figured out why we need to be together, but I believe to fully reach our potential as a human race we need to be on the same page. I believe there is one goal, and it requires one team... or else we’re just competing against ourselves.

Still [Only] Human

Hey all, how’s everyone doing? Man… I don’t know if y’all saw that a few days ago, but I posted when I was intoxicated. You know there’s that little warning, do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of alcohol or any other drug… yeah… my blog should be in included. After much deliberation, sober, I chose to take it down. Don’t worry; it’s not a post that is completely lost. I will be discussing it later tonight. It was about my retirement and I preferred it be presented in a more honorable manner, such a delicate situation deserves that.

Today, including tonight is all about being human. Someone once said to me... “Carl, are you sure you’re still human?” And I kinda laughed it off… but underneath it all it was like I was becoming a machine; like I was losing my humanity. I cannot be detached from a race that I’m trying to protect and better. I can’t lose being human. Clearly, I’m not divine so I need to prove that I’m not a machine. So here comes the question, can I change myself? Can I better myself? Even of the most advanced machines today cannot notice their own flaws and improve themselves. And that there is key, noticing one’s own flaws. How can you better yourself if you don’t know what you lack? Furthermore, how can I preach something that I don’t even do myself? And yes, there have been times where I was a particular way and I changed it. And along with many great human things, no one was available to witness it in its entirety. So, how do I lead by example when there is no example?

I, of course, already know the answer [or else I wouldn’t be here talking about it]. I feel as though I lack in the reading department. I don’t believe I’ve read enough; yes, I read books from class, but books from class don’t nearly cover as much as I should have read. And yeah, I read stuff about philosophy and about architecture, and I’m in tune with poetry and various amounts of literature. But I’m still lacking in the reading department. I don’t read enough, period; there’s no doubt about it. So to be more well-read, I am taking it upon myself to read more. It’s far easier to change oneself, than to change another. So instead of waiting for someone to make me read [like all those that have tried before], I am going to pick a book up on my own and lead by example. As this blog is a promise to me, and I don’t know how y’all can check on me, but I hope that you will begin to notice the change… hopefully references to novels and plays as well as music and movies will begin to appear. But wait, there’s more. It appears there’s an obligation from the audience.

Simply, I ask for material. How can I be well rounded without hearing from various sources? I have spoken to my closest avid readers and requested a comprehensive list, I hope this list varies as much as the character of these individuals I have asked. Even with this, it is not going to be enough. If you have a suggestion, please never hesitate to present it here. I wait with a willing mind and open hands.

The Comeback

What’s up? How’s every one doing? How’s everyone doing? Yeah, that’s deliberately two separate questions. [How is every (single) one (person) doing and how is everyone (collectively) doing.] All is well, I hope. I’m kinda in some other element today. Not in my usual self, but it’s all gravy. I planned for a free write last night. Seriously, it was suppose to be a meditation and just to see what came up… what was on the mind. Because of some particular factors, that wasn’t possible. Funny thing is, amidst of that events I found a topic. As usual it’s pretty broad and general, but as always, I hope that it will apply to you in some way or another. As always, my mind is racing… but the mind is supposed to move faster than anything physical [the mind isn’t bound by anything physical].

I touched on that whole, “how I know I’m right” stuff before and I wanted to bring it up again. Right and wrong… it’s something that really cannot be decided upon (ever). What seems to be right may be held wrong in another context or culture. The easiest example of this is any political debate. Pick any political issue, the reason it’s an issue is some feel its right and some believe it’s wrong. I try my best to not live in absolutes; it’s a bad thing to do. There’s always a grey area, the “right” answer is never crystal clear. Anyways, I’m sidetracking here but… back to the subject.

How do I know I’m right? Hmmm… I’ll be honest and say I’m not. I always allow for another person to give me another opinion. I practically beg you to comment here, [that hardly gets answered, but that’s okay]. I’m always begging for a fault in my thinking. So that my thinking and be restructured and hopefully for the better. Some may argue how it is possible that I believe in my decisions or choices so faithfully. I’d answer with “because we have to believe in something.” Many people think I’m being arrogant, when really I’m just confident in what I’m doing. If they would simply just pay a little more attention and give the amount I give in return, then we’d be pretty clear on things. The people that are pretty close to me (and even ask for my advice), I pretty sure they believe me to be a pretty understanding kinda guy… I see a situation in its entirety, not much escapes me. It all gets factored in, when I respond to people. I respect people for what they are; I stay away from generalizations and give humans human qualities. Like the ability to change, adjust, be understanding, and be intelligent, just to name a few. Yeah, that was a tangent but anyways…

Now this all came up when was in a pretty odd situation. You ever notice how those that retire can never really leave? Like Jordan, he came back so many different times. Jay-Z, he retires… but only from making complete CDs. He just gets on the tracks with other people. DMX [one of my favorites] claimed his 2003 CD was his last, yeah there’s another expected by the end of the summer. Smashing Pumpkins reuniting? And what’s this I hear about Guns N’ Roses? Why is it so difficult to walk away from something we love? I claimed my retirement from a few things, and I started to second guess them all. The difficulty is I reasoned them all out. I know why I retired from them. And they’re still clear as day, the decision that is. When I think about it, I still follow the same path to the same decision. Now this may be attributed to the fact that no one has been able to successfully refute my retirement.

So as I’ve been rolling this around in my head; but I wasn’t thinking about it when I was doing Architecture stuff last night. And there was this whole big thing about me having to watch “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” [long story short: there was a whole bunch of cosmological messages hinting to this movie, over the last few weeks. It was mentioned something like 4-6 times in 2-3 weeks.] And so I watched it while I was working on some Architecture stuff. At the end of the movie, I sat there and was like “what is there for me to learn, what message am I suppose to get.” And what was in my mind while I was watching it was: Things never always work out as it was planned. [There’s an issue with wording, but whatever] [Removing as many names and details as possible] it came up to “Am I supposed to reconsider my retirement, because ‘things never always work out the way it was planned.’” And I rolled that around in my mind, and then I remember a conversation that I had earlier in the night that appears to be pretty significant. I’m quoting myself here but I said “sometimes as humans we must be content with the fact that sometimes the solution isn't available and the one we chose just has to be satisfactory.” And the context of the conversation that this quote comes from really has nothing to do with my retirement; it was with/about someone else. The application to this situation is apparent. I guess I just gotta stick with my decision, until some thing pulls me toward another direction. Any thoughts?

***

Most of you already know, I’m a design student… trying to design everything I suppose. And it appears I designed my own future… and yet no one has anything to say about it. I don’t give a damn how good a designer is; they will always have those individuals that argue against it. And this is because design isn’t universally agreeable. It’s too general, and too broad. So if the objection is out there, then there must be someone to bring it.

Current Era

Hey everyone… how’s everyone doing tonight? I hope all is well with you and yours. There’s been something that I’ve been thinking about lately… it’s the simple question of progress. Are we making any? This question has a pretty broad scope so, I’m going to narrow it down for everyone. Hopefully, make it simpler. Most of the nation enjoyed the Super Bowl today, [Congratulations to the Pittsburgh Steelers]. During the course of the game, there were a few records that were broken. In this small scope, progress is can be easily seen. When records are broken, its clear there has been some advances in a particular field. With the (generally) always entertaining commercials, we can see advances in technology among other things. Here, progress is evident. In other particular fields of interest, progress isn’t so clear….

For my focus tonight, I’m specifically talking about Architecture. Has architecture made progress? When we study architecture it’s about epic works of art and major forward movement. We hear stories of Louis Sullivan, Ludwig Mies van der Rohe, and Frank Lloyd Wright, among others [merely selected for their popularity]. Was their fame and greatness given to them during their life time or after their passing? Was Le Corbusier helmed as one of the best architects to ever live or did he get that after he passed away? Who can say who is going to be truly great? Who is the next big name in architecture? Who is the next “Sullivan,” “Wright,” or “Mies?” Is it Rem Koolhaas? Is it Adrian Smith? Is it Frank O. Gehry? Or is it someone who isn’t vastly known right now, only honored among architects like Douglas Garofalo. Furthermore, who determines who is truly great and who is just a member of the rest of the crowd? The problem with these questions, I believe, is there is no way to answer them. How do we define greatness? Are we only remembered when we are dead or gone? I would love to be admitted as a truly great architect, but it’s not my top priority. My top priority is to be heard. I would prefer that my messages through my architecture echo louder than those that I place here on this blog, but those are all in the details. [Although, I would also love if my blog receive recognition… but like I said, it’s not necessary.]

Wow… I’ve kinda diverged from the actual question of progress. Have we made progress in architecture? In technology… yes, what about design? Does it merely change with the times? In architecture, we can look back and say “hey, that’s classical” or “that’s gothic.” How do we determine what is modern? How does something like post-modern exist? And if the term modern applies to a certain time period (from this year to that year), what do we call our type of work now? What is our style in this time period, what will we be called when it’s looked back on? I suppose this post isn’t so much about progress, maybe it’s just a question of what type of era we are in. Funny question about time… how do we define it? Maybe it’s only useful as a 4th dimension of labeling things.

I remember a time when Tupac Shakur was alive, when Notorious B.I.G. was leading the east coast rap. Did I take them for granted when they were alive? Are they great now because they were taken away? Why is it so difficult to cherish something that we have, when we have it? Maybe if that doesn’t relate to you, how about Troy Aikman… inducted into the Hall of Fame on Saturday. Hmmm… that’s a pretty good example; after he retires he gets inducted into the Hall of Fame. Or Jerome Bettis, who announces his retirement at the Super Bowl… here’s a better example, Hines Ward, the MVP of tonight’s game. He’s never the guy to show-off, he just does he job. He did his job in this Super Bowl and was recognized as the MVP of the game. Will he be inducted into the Hall of Fame? Seems like it’s up to a committee to decide on that question. These little defining moments that separate what is truly great from those that are members of the crowd are slim and slight. Fame is a difficult honor to chase. I think the right way is to go after something you truly believe in, and not to chase fame. If there’s a message you want to give the rest of the world, give it. If there’s something you’re begging to scream at the top of your lungs, scream it. I’ve noticed, among other things, that when something in kept inside a person it only leaves to destruction of that person. As a human being, I’ve been given so many different opportunities to express myself… I plan to use them all.

How do I know I’m right? I think we’ll save that for another time.

For Better Business

Hey all… just wanted to check in… I’m just sitting here, not taking my finals as seriously as I should… listening to music (as always). I had a couple of different things running in my head the last few days… you’re prolly thinking, what’s else is new… but hey, that’s how I work. Anyways, lemme air out a few thoughts… maybe I could get some feedback *hint hint, wink wink* hmmm… where to begin…. Ha! I got it.

Has anyone ever made a decision on a coin flip? (Anyone else smiling? No? Maybe I’m trying too hard) I have… I've done it quite often… doing that whole Two-Face thing (ya know… Batman…?) Now it’s not always a decision of good vs. evil. I use that whole coin flip decision thing on a situation where I can see both the positives and negatives of a situation or choice. Kinda like letting the coin pick the less of the two evils, because it’s indiscriminate and not influenced by the human difficulties that I possess. Usually when I’m going to make a decision by the coin… I decide what side is going to be what option, flip the coin, catch it, and flip it over on my other hand. (If I don’t catch it or it slips or some other difficulty the options have to be reset and I have to flip again) After the coin tells me what to do, I forget about the other option… the other option doesn’t matter anymore. And whatever the coin has chosen, I have to do that. That’s the discipline.

I think a part of this is attributed to the fact that I don’t believe in coincidence. Since nothing is truly random, it’s kinda like my way of speaking to God? Or God guiding me? It’s like that whole Fate and Destiny argument I was talking about before, when I come to a fork in the road and I have to make a choice, and because I’m human, I can’t make the choice without regretting or wanting the other option or possibly just not seeing clearly, the coin would show me the way to leads me to the “better” route. So I guess the coin helps me choose the best possible route, if there is such a thing. And with this thinking, whatever the coin chooses, it’s like Fate or Destiny or God has said this is what is to happen. And how am I to argue with that?

Now, this was way of decision making was in my life before, but I started becoming vividly aware of this when I heard that some businesses run on this system. Seriously, there was an article about a business that wanted to buy out another one… and the business that was taking bids decided on a coin flip. Ain’t that some shiet? There are web pages up on Google’s search engine if you don’t believe me. (That’s one of those… ::reaches in pocket and pulls out a fact sheet::)

Now, I was talking to my Father about this… I can’t remember what it came from but he said there was another way of doing this… kinda a spin-off I suppose. He explained the whole procedure and now I present it to you. Take a sheet of paper, write yes on one side and write no on the other side. Then kinda eye where the middle is, DON’T MEASURE, and tear. This can be interchanged with the options being put on the ends and whatnot you get the point. This basically runs on the same thinking as the coin flip. Because nothing happens without reason, the side that has more is the option you take. Ha! Who thought “the side that has more” was funny… get it… more paper or more benefit. No? Ahhh y’all aren’t very fun. [That’s the problem with blogs… I don’t get initial reactions… hell I don’t’ get reactions, cuz no one responds.] Yeah, so if you don’t have a coin around and you do have a piece of paper and pen and willing to kill a sheet of paper to make a decision you could use this. I just keep a quarter [quarters because they’re bigger, easier to flip and catch… dimes are the worst]. Flip a Coin… there’s suppose to be something about businesses playing rock, paper, scissors, I just think the rules are difficult to set up between businesses and there’s took much human influence. Like you could kinda take a guess at what a person would choose and then obviously the other person is doing the same thing. And basically it’s an intangible war, until the counts comes. Hehheh… I’m calling the Better Business Bureau.

Yeah, for the installation project that was just completed… we did coin flips for the locations that many groups wanted. Made me happy, and I must say… I think everything that was decided on the coin flip went rather well… Maybe some members of the other groups would like to argue [*hint hint* I know some of you are reading…] But honestly, my group was involved in one coin flip and we lost that one… went other group… I could’ve had a huge influence on, but didn’t. Then we won the second one and I was satisfied with my newly acquired canvas. Honestly, I liked all the site locations; I believe I could’ve worked with any of them. And they all had they’re down sides to each of them. So, it was pretty ideal situations to use the coin flip. The coin flip… its great! Alright, I gotta waste a few more hours before I have to seriously study. I’ll talk to y’all laterz… possibly later tonight.

Fate Vs. Destiny

Hey everyone, how’s everyone doing? While posting on other blog… I realized that the topics that I talk about; it’s kinda hard or difficult to respond to them. But I need your feed back to further develop them in my own mind, cuz they’re not complete yet. So if anyone is reading this… leave me something… geez. Anyway, I got into a discussion with one of my classmates yesterday, so I figured that I’d post up my theory on the difference between Fate and Destiny.

Well, as you can probably tell, I believe they are two separate things. Fate is not another word for Destiny, vice versa. This example maybe a little choppy, but like I said I’m still working on the theories (posts are good). If you picture life as a “choose your own adventure” book with only one ending, then Fate would be the end of the story. Since it’s a “choose your own adventure” and not a “choose your ending” kinda book, there’s only one way it can end. As stated before, this end is what I would call Fate. This idea of thinking doesn’t leave room for those that believe they have some part in their own life. I believe I have some control in my life, some free will, and I account for this by Destiny. Like a “choose your own adventure” book, there are key checkpoints that you have to hit… how you get to these checkpoints—that’s up to you. Those little points are what I call Destiny. It is your Destiny to get to those checkpoints; you choose your path to get there. Hypothetically, when you have a dilemma in your life and you have two options [most times you have more]… one says turn to page 23 and the other says turn to page 56 and you choose to turn to page 56. Upon reading the result on page 56, it just tells you to turn to page 23… yeah 23 is your Destiny. No matter what path you take, you still hit Destiny among those points, when you reach your Fate… the things you remember, those happen to be your Destiny or checkpoints. Life is a multi-layered path to one goal, when you go up ladders and down stairs… you’re still getting to the goal, maybe you’re taking a detour… maybe you’re taking a shortcut… either way you’re getting there. This applies with my own theory on everyone having a purpose, those checkpoints could have been your purpose, on a higher level, and your Fate is bigger purpose. Does it make sense to anyone? I think it’s pretty clear.

Anyway, when I presented this to her, she made the note that what if there is only one real path, and there was no other path to take… it was just an illusion and responded with the idea that I have no control then, I would like control I think it’s a very good thing. “The problem is choice.” [The Architect, The Matrix: Reloaded]

Then she asked a very valid question, that I’m not going to answer here because I haven’t thought about it enough, she said if religion played a part. Does religion have a factor? I’m not quite sure, on how to answer this… still kinda thinking about it. It’s a very valid question, [Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?]. I'll have to thinking some more on this, you know I’ll post that answer up.

Humans' Worse Problem

Sending another broadcast out into cyberspace… what’s the topic about today? Well, it’s more of a complaint… but not one that can be fixed… so I suppose it’s just an observation.

I’m going to start off with the basis… I believe there is a God and God created human beings. This God is just the idea of God [master and creator of the universe?], not belonging to any particular religion. I admire what God has created; I believe that God created everything on Earth (as well as the rest of the universe). There is one thing that I suppose I would like to remove from one of his creations. I believe the biggest deficiency in humans is…

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the necessity of sleeping. Could you image if the world didn’t need to sleep? The amount of productivity that this planet would be able to provide is unimaginable. Scientist could work at all hours of the day and night… there’s no end. Without the need for sleep, and never feeling tired… could you image what this world could do in a matter of weeks? Now, all of those college students and people working on projects… they’re thinking I could get my homework done on time (don’t worry, I was thinking it too), and there’s nothing wrong with that… I would prefer to be educated more than the amount of time that I’m being educated for now… that’s like 4 hours… if professors could pump more information into my mind for a longer period of time, the amount of knowledge that I would have at the age of 21 is incredible. Now, just to show that it’s not all fun and merry things, there are other things that would last longer… things like… WAR. As a human race, if we didn’t have to sleep, we wouldn’t have to stop killing people. There is that possibility, if we (as a human race) never slept or paused, our steadily approach to the final end could come quicker. I can see both sides of the argument, I would just hope that everyone would be productive for at least 18 hours of the day… but that’s still just a dream. This post is mainly based on the fact that I want to just be able to sleep 2 hours and be able to go the next day at 100%. When I’m doing Architecture, I don’t feel sleepy, when I post on here, there’s no sleepiness. In that instance, where I pause… that’s when it hits me like a ton of pillows, it’s not every fun. It’s all the sudden, and that’s never a good feeling. Anyone out there got a cure of sleep? So I don’t have to do it, and still fully functional (and healthy) for the next day. I don’t even sleep to dream anymore… I haven’t remembered a dream in who knows how long… Sleep is a waste of time. When time is the only thing we have to worry about, sleep is the worse deficiency in human beings. “We don’t sleep to dream, we sleep to build stamina” [Mike Shinoda (Fort Minor) Lupe Fiasco, Holly Brook – Be Somebody].

Halloween, just costumes and candy?

Hey everyone… how is everyone doin’? I hope no one has anything to complain about.

Chen Li in her response reminds me of a very valid point, if there is anything that I talk about (I understand people don’t read the same material) and ya don’t understand… please let me know (or you can do some research of your own… 10,000 pages of information at your fingertips). You’ve found my page… I’m sure there are more pages to find.

Allhollows Eve… the day before All Saints’ Day, today is/was devoted to young pranksters. Well that’s what it was… now it’s just Halloween. As I grow older the fun of Halloween begins to fade… and I haven’t been dressing up like I used to do when I was younger and do that whole trick or treatin’ thing. Today, well more like Friday I found the inspiration to be someone that I am not. Then when I was deciding who I was dressing up to be, I realized that today is really the only day where it is acceptable to blatantly acceptable to put a mask on your face and have everyone accept it as your face. I know some(/most?) people put a “mask” on everyday, but today it’s different because it is more prominent. It just stands out more, today we’re allowed to “doing something crazy” and “be someone we’re not” (or that we wish to be). So I wonder, when we put these “costumes” on, are we really just showing our true nature or rather “what we want to be”? People dress up in comic book characters or as characters from movies, vampires, witches, and many various other forms. Some dress up as playboy bunnies and others dress up as cows. I think some people that choose their own costume (not influenced by a group or friend); tend to choose costumes that are merely a reflection of themselves. When I was younger, I chose a Vampire at one point, then I chose Jason, and various other “villains;” I believe I chose believe that I would’ve been, if I wasn’t bound to the limits of society. It’d be that hunter in the night, feared by many and always alone. Now I’m older and what have I chosen to be today, I chose Seraph from Matrix Reloaded and Matrix Revolutions. I chose the guardian of The Oracle and protector of Sati. When I analyze it down, Seraph, mythically a 6 winged being that has surpassed the rank of angels, makes a lot of sense that I would choose him. Taken in the context of the movie, he is the warrior [that has clashed with Agent Smith on the battlefield before, and defeated him then but loses the battle when Smith is multiplied] that is evenly matched with the One, once worked for the Merovingian and now simply the guardian of the Oracle (the individual that brings unbalance to the system, tips the scale to humans against her counterpart the Architect) and Sati (the individual that is daughter that has no purpose because she is made of love between her two parents, her father who recycles the dead human pods to feed the new human pods and her mother creator of the interactive programs such as the Merovingian, the Oracle, and the Agents. Her parents are machines that cannot exist without human beings. Sati may be the real glue and prim example of their love for both worlds Human and Machine ::side note:: it appears she is able to manipulate the weather as well judging by the rain that begins to fall after she is absorbed by Smith and the beautiful sky portrait she paints for Neo). Now after all that, I sit back and kinda think… is that really me? Seraph once worked for the Merovingian and well the part of my name Tainted would be the acceptance of that premise. Guardian of the “one that is willing to shake things up”… yeah, that sounds like me. Protector of the “love and unison of two worlds’ humans and [technology]”… I think I try to keep get the humans to be “stronger” through the use of technology. I've fought with the units of control (the Agents) on various “battlefields.” And for the last question… probably the toughest and controversial question… am I as evenly matched with the One? That question I don’t believe I’m going to answer, I don’t think there’s any real way to answer it… Time will tell. Until Time opens that storybook, I am in “costume” as Seraph.

The Impenetrable Fabric

Hey… sorry I haven’t been posting’… I’ll make it up… Imma post twice tonight… y’all just watch me. So ~> let’s get this started, right to the topic.

Topic today is the most important thing in life. Any guesses? Money? Love? Sex? Family? Friends? All those guesses are wrong… this most important thing in life is consistent. Any guesses? In a world where very little is guaranteed, I have realized something that is the same in every single instance. The magic answer I was looking for is…

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Time

Time is the most valuable thing in this life. All those guesses come and go in life… life even comes and goes. But time, is the single most idea that many attempt to beat and yet it is still undefeated. Under my research, I have discovered that not a single person has found a way to beat time… I believe Einstein was the closest… but his success (?) was never documented [The Philadelphia Experiment]. Money comes and goes, some believe it runs the world, even without time, money fails to exist. Love remains at the mercy of Time… Time can change Love… Love cannot change Time. Although sometimes, in love, a person feels like Time does not exist… when the person comes out of this dream state… Time is the hardest thing to realize. This leads me to believe that the only true thing that should linger on my mind is the question of Time. Do I have enough Time to do this? Do I have enough Time to do that? I believe I cannot beat the clock, I can only understand that seconds are seconds and minutes are minutes and I have to play by their rules. The game is very simple, the rules are consistent and there aren’t any loopholes. Now the amount of Time left in your life, cannot be told to you [or can it?] and since that is not known… it appears like Time doesn’t play fair… but perhaps we just don’t know all the rules. [Stemming from and earlier post] I believe we all have a set amount of Time on this level of existence, I don’t know how much Time I have… I don’t think anyone really does… and because I don’t fully know all the rules of the game, it may seem the game is uneasily stacked against me… but if you think about it… [I believe] we always complete what we were meant to do… then Time is over, somehow we both win (Time and the Individual). I would suggest that we don’t race the clock… but embrace the clock. Plan. How much Time do you need to do that? Understand that you will win either way. If you play by the rules (of Time), you’re more than likely to have more fun and do more of what you want.

Everytime I look in the mirror... I'm reminded

There's so much stuff going on right now... but there was a certain thing on my mind, that I just need to comment on... like right now... while I'm in that funk. I know I haven't been posting up and all that jazzy stuff... and there's no excuse for that. I said I'd try to be here as often as possible and Architecture has got me up at the crack of dawn (ready to go to sleep) and waking up as soon as it's physically possible for my body to function correctly(?). But anyways... enough of my half-assed excuse... back to the material.

Now, I grabbed a blog and figured I'd be able to speak to the masses... say something that might change someone's point of view. Now a part of me wishes... I would've created something that didn't detail who I was. Something like a place where I could tell all my secrets and no one would ever find them... and if they did... couldn't link them back to me. I'd be able to detail out my mistakes and those lies that've told. Now that it's linked back to me.. and people know who I am... I'm afraid of saying something that might offend someone while I attempted to clear the same subject for someone else. I don't know if that sounded clear... but I hope that you get the gist. So what do I do... Hehheh... that's why I have a separate sketchbook for those kinda things... (no, you can't see it) Y'all out there in cyber space... prolly already get me... simple yet so complex (The Hanged Man, right?) Same as everyone else... I've made mistakes and the more I think about my mistakes... the more I hate them as well as hate the fact that I may make another one. It's probably attributed to the reason why I am so analytical now, afraid to make another mistake. There was a particular time... when I made a mistake and I regret my mistake... (if you're looking for it, I'm not going to say it... I've already admitted it somewhere else [psst: sketchbook]) There have been many situations that I would've handled differently but I didn't... and those mistakes haunt me. There's never really a chance to patch over the a mistake... just like when you punch a hole in the wall and then cover it up with dry wall paste, there's still that hole in the dry wall and that dry wall is no longer one piece as it was before. "When the paper is crumbled up... it can't be perfect again" [Linkin Park - Forgotten], but that's not the song I'm listening to right now... the song playing right now is "How Do I Deal" by Frankie J. For those that think they know the situation I'm referring to... think again [or ask?] there's a hint here... somewhere... it has to deal with the choice that I've made and the question I avoided... (the martial status one) One of these nights... I will comment on that... when I can figure out a way to comment without offending anyone. It'll get detailed out, as close as possible. Now how does all this relate... damn.... that's for tonight but here's something brief... this past week... two people I knew passed away, and before that... I commented on my cousin's blog [Steakfied.com] and I said something along the lines of "I only hope that when it is my time to pass, I die with a smile upon my face - satisfied with the life I lived and able to accept my own apologizes." [coincidence? I dunno, who would've thunk it. He'd be commenting on the death of a friend and just around the corner I'd lose someone I knew] I think that hits, what I'm trying to say, right on the head. When it's all over, I only hope to be completely satisfied with the life I lived... furthermore able to accept my own apologizes (for the mistakes that I've made). Hopefully... there's a time in which I can forgive myself for the mistakes I made... but until that time comes... I'm still hating the fact that I'm human... having to look at myself in the mirror... learning to deal with who I am (wouldn't it be great to never make a mistake...).

The Hanged Man

Hey everyone, out there, in the land of the lost....
hehheh... anyway, moving on. Sorry I haven't been posting so much, y'all prolly don't want to hear my excuses so I won't give them. Here's an update on the projects, the font hasn't moved much, conceptually the mask is almost done, and the custom stamp shaping is done... I just gotta try it, and then adjust whatever I need to adjust. But that's not what I wanted to talk about, so ~> moving on.

I'm sitting here thinking about various "coincidences" in my life, and I know why I chose my lucky number of 12. Then I thought about its overall significance in various different realms of the world, starting looking a few things up... and you know what I found. I was talking to an old friend of mine and we got into a conversation about tarot cards... so I was like "huh? What’s the 12th card?" and I never looked it up, then I was making my way back from my weekly trip to Best Buy and saw a book entitled The Twelfth Card. On the cover was a man hanging upside down, bound by his feet "then I was like alright now I gotta look this up." The twelfth tarot card is The Hanged Man. I can see now a lot of people would see this as a negative thing and turn away, but y'all should know by now I never turn down knowledge. I read a few pages on the internet and stumble across meaning for The Hanged Man, and what to think when it shows up. I took a look at many different websites and I stumbled across this web page (http://www.learntarot.com/maj12.htm) that's pretty comprehensive. I think I could be The Hanged Man, just seems to fit me quite well. When reading Tarot Cards there's actions, and opposing actions, and reinforcing actions. Well when this card shows up in certain places it gives a number of different things: (quoted from the website I gave out earlier)
letting go
having an emotional release
accepting what is
surrendering to experience
ending the struggle
being vulnerable and open
giving up control
accepting God's will
reversing
turning the world around
changing your mind
overturning old priorities
seeing from a new angle
upending the old order
doing an about-face
suspending action
pausing to reflect
feeling outside of time
taking time to just begiving up urgency
living in the momentwaiting for the best opportunity
sacrificing
being a martyr
renouncing a claim
putting self-interest aside
going one step back to go two steps forward
giving up for a higher cause
putting others first

all this is very "coincidental," but it seems like I follow this pretty closely. Some highlights that I see are... wow where do I begin... it's like all of them reflect me. As I see it, while I'm getting comfortable with my own skin I'm falling into what I'm suppose to become. I never listened to the birthday symbols and yearly animals, but even those are reflecting my personality. [More on that later.] But this Tarot Card thing is got me going. The twelfth card pretty much describes me, in all situations how I react is somewhere on that list. This description at the bottom seems like it would be telling a story or pathway that'd logically walk:

[The Hanged Man is one of the most mysterious cards in the tarot deck. It is simple, but complex. It attracts, but also disturbs. It contradicts itself in countless ways. The Hanged Man is unsettling because it symbolizes the action of paradox in our lives. A paradox is something that appears contradictory, and yet is true. The Hanged Man presents to us certain truths, but they are hidden in their opposites.

The main lesson of the Hanged Man is that we "control" by letting go - we "win" by surrendering. The figure on Card 12 has made the ultimate surrender - to die on the cross of his own travails - yet he shines with the glory of divine understanding. He has sacrificed himself, but he emerges the victor. The Hanged Man also tells us that we can "move forward" by standing still. By suspending time, we can have all the time in the world.

In readings, the Hanged Man reminds us that the best approach to a problem is not always the most obvious. When we most want to force our will on someone, which is when we should release. When we most want to have our own way, which is when we should sacrifice. When we most want to act, that is when we should wait. The irony is that by making these contradictory moves, we find what we are looking for.]

Hehheh... I just pretty much gave you to whole page... but eh... as long as I quoted it. Anyway, the twelfth card is just a reminder of who I'm possibly becoming or what has already been happening, it's crazy. And there's just no way [for me anyway] that this is a coincidence, it just can't be that way. I'd say think about your favorite number and see its significance in other realms, you might find something along the same lines as I did. Anyways, I gotta go to my parent's house early tomorrow... so I bid thee good night. Until next time... Out.

I'm glad I'm not one of those in the field

So the font project is done... and I'm still working on it (well I didn't today or yesterday), but I'm still working on it... why? Because I'm getting published. Yeah, that's right. ::"I Made This" taunting:: After the presentations, I talked to one of the guest graphic designers and asked him... "Tell me the truth, how far am I from publishing it" and he hit with me something along the lines of put it on the computer, get a font builder [and the most memorable part of the conversation] make sure I get a copy. Oh yeah! How sweet is that? Everything is on the up and up... it’s like everything I touch transforms to platinum and diamonds. I hope this special power doesn't run out until I finally lay down to rest. But that's a story for another day. But I have a downer to hamper my mood, that design for the T-Shirt for the school... yeah not gonna happen. I was unaware of the fact that the design was due on Tuesday and well I wasn't going to trade a T-Shirt design (that's extra) for my font (that's my project and has my name virtually attached to it). It's all good though, if they didn't like the entries... I'm pretty sure they'll just open it up for more designs. Either way, I'll get my t-shirt made--whether it be by permission or if I have to do it guerilla style. Oh how nice... moves right into my next topic.

I was talking to a friend of mine [who will rename nameless for universality], and I said this:

I'm just really glad... I'm not like those stereotypical art students who think they know what an art student is and act a certain way
....
with the crazy hair and funky clothes without brains and might as well be hot pink cows with purple poka-dots
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just moo-ing along

And I mean that, what's up with this posers. Lemme get on my stand a flame a few individuals tonight. Honestly... daily... I see individuals who think they're artists but when it comes down to it... they can't even grasp what it means to truly be an artist. And I mean any art form whether it be, acting, architecture, graphic designing, musician, painting, sculpting, writer, et cetera. All areas of art are clouded by posers who have no integrity or honesty. They act a certain way because they believe "to be an art student, one has to dress this way or speak this way," when in reality, it's the other way around... it just happens. If you got it, then you got it... if you don't, no one can teach it to you. [If you got it, some teachers can bring it out; but if you don't got it, they can't get it to you] Most of art school is understanding one's own style, and if that's the case, then why do we have so many that are just trying to follow the pack, catch the heat from someone else's spark. Now, much of this is due to the natural progress of most artistic individuals. Most artists do end up designing their own clothing, which is understandable sometimes what you need is not what's in your closet at that moment... so they're forced to make it. What I want to say with my clothing just isn't out in the market right now... so I will have to start designing my own. [I'll keep y'all update on that as well.] Honesty... and Integrity... that's what is missing in these stereotypical art students... whining how they can't get accepted in society because they're an art student... or dress a certain way, because this is how an art student dresses. Remember its not how you look that's being judged by the rest of the world, it's your art work that's in the lime light and under the interrogation lamp. Perfect example of this would be Project Runaway and the winner of that. I can't remember the designers name (much like how most art is... unless you're really really epic), but I can remember his clothing line. Since he was on T.V., we saw how "different" he was... his crazy dress style and the like. But when it came down to actual design and the final day... what did he say? "Let's let the line speak for itself." Yeah, he came out with his hot pink hat and suit on but hey he made the hat. Be who you are... not what you think you're suppose to be... cuz you'll only get it wrong. If this sounds like a subliminal message to all those people that look into the mirror and see what I'm talking about; please do me a favor and don't waste my (or someone else's) teacher's time. You're the reason why there is so much fluff is most art forms nowadays, you and your predecessors are the reason for architecture falling short and movies that just plain suck. Granted, some are the result of failed execution, but if the idea/concept wasn't there in the beginning then there's nothing to try and capture. For the rest of you true art students please do what Mike Shinoda [Linkin Park - Step Up] did, for the rock/hip-hop genre, in your own genres. I know I'll be blazing my own trail [hopefully, doing it in my own designed clothes and never to a conformed style].

geez... 21 was a long time ago.

The font is done... well it's as done as it going to be for tomorrow's presentation. I think its enough to get a consideration on publication, now wouldn't that be some pimp shiet! Second Year in Architecture School and gettin' shiet published. Oh yeah... for the people in my class or even in my school, I'm going to for the design of the T-Shirt for our school. Wish me luck, but if you're against me.... hehheh... Good Luck (I’ll be a good sport about it, unless your design just isn't all that great). Yeah, so Imma start working on that tomorrow (projects never stop with me, I hit the ground running). Anyways... back to the font, if I have to choose I’m going with the lower cases (to me, they just look better) and then if I can do both I will. But for all the pieces of work I have I’d take up the whole wall and that just isn't far. If it gets a few good comments or even if it gets a second look (by a graphic designer), imma ask if it’s worthy to get published. Then we'll see where that goes. Hopefully it'll be on the up and up. I just hope they (professors and guests, which are going to be there tomorrow) grasp the concept, which I think they will. And if they don't, it's in my sketch book and they're going to be looking through that. I know the one professor that is assigned to me, I know she gets it. And the graphic designer that came to talk to us, I think he gets it. Sorry, I'm leaving names out... I don't have consent and I don't wanna be sayin' stuff and others gettin' all bent outta shape. There's little mishaps on the hand written part of the font, but if its going to get publish I can fix those things on Photoshop (they're not hugely noticeable). Y'all should see my room, papers and all kind of shiet everywhere. But I’m too tired to clean up; I’ll clean up before I start the T-Shirt design. Oh yeah, I’m custom making my own stamp. That should be fun, custom logo and everything. Cuz well I always wanted a wax (or blood) stamp and I never like manufactured designs (they just don't have any personality), so imma make my own. Yeah, so those projects are lining up... but it's not like its work because I like doing it and its all stuff I want done.

[Man, I just lost my post this is where it was recovered]

Anyway... imma try and salvage my thought about what I was talking about. I was discussing birthday (before my post got lost). This is what I posted on my cuz's friend's blog (as a comment):

even though you're birthday goes unnoticed, don't feel bad. I think to myself, my birth was not a blessing to me (really). It was more of a blessing to my parents... they wanted me to be here. People always say... yeah you're a year older, but that doesn't really say anything about how much you've developed. On my birthday, I think to myself what got me here to this date. I think about my parents, my closest cousins (Tony, Janet, and Kim), their parents, and all the people that I’ve come across to this date. Nothing happens in a person's day that doesn't affect them in some way shape or form. I know it's great to get an awesome birthday, but don't be bummed if ya don't. I just like it when my parents remember my birthday... it's when I first came into their lives and not the other way around.

Yeah... that's my view of it... I've never really had like a huge birthday bash kinda thing going, I think I had one when I was a kid and only child but I can't remember much of that. When I was in a relationship, she always gave it her all to make it a great day. But other than those instances it's usually just me celebrating other's birthdays... just doesn't matter to me much. I'd be kinda upset it my parents didn't take notice, but it's their day and they'll celebrate it anyway they want. I'm turning 21 this year and everyone is like oh you gotta go here or you gotta go there and I dunno... that would be cool but do I have to go for my birthday? Shouldn't I be home with the ones that brought me into this world, and let them enjoy how much I've grown? Instead of running around and growing up faster than I probably should. I think I’m pretty grown up, but I'd rather show that off to my parents than to my friends and whatever else they can get me into. Now if the home situation isn't the greatest, then yeah so celebrate it with the ones that will appreciate it or wanna do something for ya. That's all cool and all that, but lemme get some home cookin' or a nice conversation or some fond memories and I’m good to go. Anyway y'all, I’m out... I gotta hit up Kinko’s in the morning to print out some 11X17's (those crazy professors).