in all the wrong places...

Here's a series of events that aren't likely to happen:

Go to a cafe.
Introduce yourself.
Have a great conversation.
Setup a time and date for the next meeting.
and... spend the rest of your lives...

Today, in our overly technological society, our *brand new* dating forum is the internet. And thank God for that, who would ever want to meet some random person on the street—who knows who's out there, they might be a terrorist. So our society supposes it’s acceptable to post our personal information and hopes of finding true love on the internet (big business in that, as if it didn’t play a factor at all). Further more, some websites are dependent upon being the match maker, so we’ve completely removed ourselves from the process and we wonder why divorce is as high as it’s ever been. Now there’s news of people scamming others over romance, click here. It’s my intuition to say “you deserve what you get, b-tch” but that’s a bit harsh, but who’s really to blame: the scammer, the person naively trusting themselves over an Ethernet cable, or the company robbing you blind by promising love?

When classes are dismissed I’ll be working on something special, small social-science project. It’ll be a personal ad/essay entitled “looking for <3,”

"I was just making smalltalk"

Dropping in, dropping something off.

I came across on Grrl Genius that I wanted to share with all of you. It's coincidental that she mentions it at this very moment. I decided to comment on her post and respond with depth here. I left: "There is no smalltalk at 10:00 pm."

My comment is the conclusion of a discussion. No matter what you're doing at 10:00 in the evening, any conversation that happens at this hour (or any time past it) is more than just "smalltalk."

For example:
It's 11:00 P.M. and I get a text message and it reads...
"Hey, what are you up to?"
"Hun, there's no smalltalk at 11:00."

Another example: It's 2:00 A.M. and a text message comes through and it reads...
"Hey, are you up?"
"Hun, there's no smalltalk @ 2 in the morning."

See where I'm going with this? Is anyone "smalltalking" at those late hours? Early-early mornings? Check my blog times, notice the late hour and thus the final post.

Pirates of The Caribbean - At World's End

Just stopping in for a quickie… I saw Pirates of the Caribbean – At World’s End last night. I enjoyed it, it wasn’t as complex as the others but that’s okay… maybe that part of itself will show through after the viewings I have lined up. Most of it was predictable to me, but that’s just me.

There are a few parts in the movie that struck a cord with me. Stemming from my last post, about being a fan of your significant other and how that’s the only way to be, I think there’s a great example of that in the film. Actually, the moment happens twice, but I won’t spoil it for you. There was another commentary about relationships that I also wanted to note. Making a major decision without your significant others knowledge, and does it automatically lead to oneself not being trustworthy from the perspective of your significant other? I haven’t really decided on what I think about this, but it’s brought up in the film. You know how Elizabeth Swann handcuffs Captain Jack to the Black Pearl at the end of Deadman’s Chest to send him to Davy Jones’ locker… well it’s obvious someone was gonna address it, but long story short it gets brought up. At the heart of Pirates, if it isn’t obvious, it’s a story about love… love for the sea, love for another, love for oneself (not necessarily in that order, but that could be something interesting to explore). Either way, just wanted to give a heads up and make sure everyone was looking out for that. Oh, and there’s a little thang after the credits, like the rest of the Pirates films.

I’ll probably post some more text after another a couple of viewings, this was just some initial stuff.

Hanged

Hey all, sorry I've been MIA, but I’m back. “Coincidence? I think not.” This Linkin Park CD comes at a good time for me, as their CDs always have. Their sound is different, but I find it still calming. Initially, I like “Leave Out All The Rest,” “Shadow Of The Day,” and “Hands Held High,” as my top favorites. That’s just my little shout-out, moving forward.

Recently, I just got into a discussion about self-sacrifice. We were talking about Spider-Man 3 and how as an attribute of an individual willing to self-sacrifice, that individual doesn’t ask for any help. They just bear the weight of the world on their shoulders, ask no questions and take no aid. I argued it wasn’t in Spider-Man’s character, as a self sacrifice-r to ask. You don’t see Batman asking for help, nope, he believes it’s his responsibility to do it. [He takes Robin’s aid, but only to train him, to be his successor] Thus the Spider-Man underlying theme “With great power comes great responsibility.” And this is because no one else is going to do it. Then, due to recent events, I was under the belief these individuals are ultimately alone. How can these individuals be truly happy if they self-sacrifice? Is it possible to be happy when you know the world isn’t? And if you’re never happy, can you achieve oneness with someone?

I think it is possible, but difficult. The only marriages I see ever lasting are those individuals that are fans of one another. [Maybe this is obvious to everyone else, but I just didn’t get it.] I think to truly be with someone, you have to be their fan first. You have to be into what they do. Beyond their exterior, doesn’t a person’s essence make them interesting? If that individual has the same drive they did before they were in a tragic scarring accident, would you still turn to leave them because of the physical features? I think the reason why people separate after accidents or arguments is because they aren’t or don’t appear to be the same person. This leads to no longer being attracted or out-of-love; however you want to phrase it. Sorry for the tangent, but what I’m trying to say is the only way self-sacrifice-rs can be with someone is if they are fan, and that someone is a fan of them. They exist in love the same way as anyone else, that’s how they can be with someone and a self-sacrifice-r. Now if you believe this, can a self-sacrifice-r be with someone that isn’t?

No Comment

Funny thing about perspective… it comes from the strangest places.

I wrote something last week and I spoke about knowing the full story before you speak… I find myself in discussions that I know little about. I suppose I didn’t really understand what I was saying until I took a look at myself, maybe a little detail and some residual self-image.

Maybe it’s just what is expected of me or the way I carry myself, but my opinion is expected to be voiced at any and all times. In some particular topics, I don’t have one. I’m sorry… I’m trying, but I may not up-to-date or whatever it may be. I suppose it’s a fault of being human, probably something that is nearing the status of hatred in my book, but sometimes I don’t have an opinion. But now, here’s the killer…

I voice anyway…

sucks…

doesn’t it?

Now, you’re probably thinking, “just don’t, and it’ll be fine.” Oh, but I have to keep this up. When a teacher asks you a question, is the appropriate answer “I don’t know?” Have you ever really tried it? I never have, but quite frankly, all they want you to do is at least try. Now, I’m not saying what they want you should do, but c’mon… you’d try right? So when your peers ask your opinion and all eyes on you here, would you be satisfied with “I don’t know?” After some long speech about how much your significant other loves you and they count the ways, what would you do? “Yeah, I love you too”… hmmm… I don’t think that’s gonna be enough. Maybe that’s just me here, but I suppose one should respond something with a bit more substance… but maybe that’s just me.

I know a couple of little fishes that don’t have a problem with not saying anything. They’re just swimming along and taking it all in, no doubt keeping it in their bottomless pit of knowledge and experience. I suppose some would describe them as passive, but it’s what they don’t say, that’s what people should be worried about. [Maybe I’m not wrong in speaking when it’s needed, and they’re guilty of saying nothing when something needs to be said.] Its okay, their slightly prone to exaggeration, if that doesn’t balance it out some. I think this admiration that I’m detailing is with a dash of jealousy. If I could be more internal, it would keep me out of many difficult situations. I suppose it’s my wicked tongue that gets me into trouble. This hunter should learn to shoulder his firearm… or grab a big net and go on a little trip. No… but seriously, every now and again, I have to pocket my blade and leave it holstered.

It’s bad to toast with water, and alcohol doesn’t do too well for you anyways, but cheers…

to speaking when it’s appropriate.

Plans Change

There’s got to be a way to do this… a way where I’m not posting every 3 weeks, but never mind that. Let’s just get right to it.

I've never claimed to know everything; in fact, I believe this blog is a breathing example of me wanting to know more—about everything. Personally, I don’t believe one should ever settle. I don’t believe it’s ever possible to be completely content in all areas of life—from matters of the heart to aspects of an occupation. I mean really, how can someone be completely content with everything? [There may be a contradiction in the next few lines, and I’m warning you now.] Following the same train of thought, I believe never to close all doors. It is a good thing to strive for what you believe is best, there are also times where what you think is the best isn’t at all what it should be. Remember, you could be wrong.

I see myself being asked, “How can you put so much faith when you’re not entirely sure if you’re correct?” You know what, I think someone did ask me this… if my memory serves me well. I don’t remember what my exact response was, [something like “you have to believe in something” rings a bell] but it was along the lines of “… if there is no belief in any thing, then there is no reason to strive for anything.” I suppose that answer is probably a truism, and probably one of those things people never know how to respond to.

Either way, “keeping an open mind” is what I’m trying to say. It’s difficult to be completely set on a single idea and not hear other possibilities. The same as it is in Architecture, what we once believed is absolute may end up being the worst possibility. Put effort and time in the things that you believe, live in honesty, love fully and faithfully… and always keep an open mind. [Someone’s supposed to ask “how is it possible to love fully and faithfully when keeping an open mind to other options,” but trust me, there’s a way] The only thing that is set in stone is the past. Our individual histories make us who we are, if everyone believes that then we’d be better off. Some people never want to take responsibility for their lives, it’s always someone else’s fault… although that may be true, time and weathering has made you who you are.

Never settle, never shut all doors, because sometimes…

The Rain

Evening. I meant to post on this topic last night, on the anniversary of… oops… almost let that one slip. No names, I almost forgot my own rules. Anyways… where was I? Ah yes, it is April. And the first fall of the heavy rain, is/was tonight. The rain… it has brought me a couple of stormy days/nights but I still look to the rain to replenish everything on Earth. Tonight’s topic is kind of a two-part integrated comment/advice blog, so prepare for it to be quite vague… but you’ll catch my drift (if the flood doesn’t drown it out).

I’ve had a couple of rough days in the rain; the rain hasn’t always been so nice to me. In another century, I've had a number of days that the rain couldn’t fall any harder. It made me follow a different path and travel down the strange road. In the rain, I lost my way many times down the same path. I've done unaccountable amounts of stupidity in the rain. Time and time again, the rain has burdened me… its heavy weight crushing me with each droplet of acid, burning to leave scars. Nevertheless, I am still here. And from this, what have I learned? The rain will do funny things to you, but beyond its dreary façade… what you truly know is underneath it all.

I've lost my way quite a few times, and I've continued to push in the wrong direction… knowing that it would only lead to me having to back-track. I’m here to bless you with my experience, maybe you have something to gain from what I've done—in the rain.

Something was said to me many years ago in the rain, and well, it led me to believe that something was meant to change on that day. As it rained, the words that were exchanged filled my heart with happiness, ignoring the facts of the calendar. This ignorance left a wound that now has been healed, but leaves a scar—the same as all wounds that are cut deep enough.

A few years ago, I made a decision to do something—blinded by the rain. On the anniversary of the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre, I put love against nature. I wouldn’t recommend it; it was not a pretty sight and caused quite a few more repercussions than I was prepared for. But alas, I’m still here… so it couldn’t be as bad as the Massacre. Just chalk up another scar.

Recently, this… story continued with another day of rain. As the rain fell, I didn’t know it was happening. Blinded, I continued to walk down this, now familiar path. Book II (or III?), I believe/hope, has now ended. This is a bit sparse in detail, let’s just say…:

We all do these things... we make these elaborate stories in our mind, a view of the situation that we can only see / take a look at what’s really there... what has been really said / as true intentions will reveal themselves

That was taken from a conversation I had. I hope just that little excerpt will help convey what I’m trying to say. This conversation was far deeper than I intended it to be. I believe it may have helped me more than whom it was intended for, and as always… there’s a twist, but this one… will not be revealed when the rain stops.

My apologizes… for being so vague, when it comes to these matters… they must be. In closing, don’t follow down a path of your own created images. Your mind has the power to destroy you, without ever inflicting any physical wounds. Remember that after the rain, there’s a rainbow… sometimes its just too dark to see, but its there. I’ve obviously had more rainy day experience then I would like to relive and with all that, you’d think that I’d hate the rain—but I don’t. I always remember the rain washes away all that doesn’t stain too deeply. It’s just necessary—for all of Earth’s inhabitants to grow.

Love Is...

Welcome… everyone. I’ll be honest; I’m out here second guessing myself again. Thought I had it all sorted out? The problem lies in the doors I left open. I was told once that I fear falling in love. I’d say I’d welcome it, but I’ll do nothing about it. So really what’s the point then? I've thought about love on many occasions. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I think I got some important information to consider. So here it is, my love definition.

So it’s quite clear that everyone is looking for love… well it seems that way. But honestly, what are we looking for? How do we define love? [Take note… we] If you didn’t notice, there are different degrees for love. Is there something like true love? How is that different than real love? Are they the same thing? If they were… why do we define them differently? All the answers will come in good time. As always, we’ll start with dictionary.com.

love P Pronunciation Key (l(image placeholder)v)n.

• A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. [Sense of Underlying Oneness… nicely put.]


• A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.


• 
  


• Sexual passion.


• Sexual intercourse.


• A love affair.


• An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.


• A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.


• An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.


• 
  


• A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.


• The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.


• Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.


• often Love Christianity. Charity.


• Sports. A zero score in tennis.

All strong definitions, I suppose… but how do we differentiate? Is it left to the individual? I think that’s really what it is. I can give you general thoughts about love but it really comes down to a person to decide the difference. That’s what I suppose is most difficult (I’ll explain later). But hey listen… before my definition of love was “Like a chamber of the heart, one cannot live without (insert name).” This included family, friends, and significant others. I've since adjusted this in my mind; I still believe it’s true; I need something that defines what we live with and what love really is. And as I was rolling this around in my mind, I wanted to include this idea of “love at first sight.” [Yeah, I’m still a dreamer so I gotta include this.] I think my first definition is good, but it takes times to consider something a chamber of the heart. So, I said “alright, what adjustment can I make that will include the occurrence of love at first sight?” Then it hit me, when I think of something like a painting or architecture or a poem… there’s an instant where it just fills you up with joy; and when you learn more about it… the more you like it. And if you learn something about it and it turns you off… you no longer like it. So what I’m trying to say is… emotion can happen at an instance; there’s this feeling that overtakes an individual. And its love when the more you learn about it, the more you like/appreciate/love it. Agreed? Because seriously, the more you learn about something if you learn something you don’t like, there’s no happy emotion about it. There’s no respect, no love, no like, no crush, nothing. When ya learn something you like about it, the love only grows. I think this would account for “love at first sight.” And yes, it takes time to realize this still, but it allows for it to happen in an instance. Someone can fall in love at an instance and not even realize it, until they start learning more about it. When they realize they like it more and more, then it is or was always love.

The reason why this is so important to me is because I overuse the word. I love this (I hate this) or I love that (I hate that)… I gotta define it. I have to find a definition. And really, it’s up to me to decide the difference between paternal love and kinship love and significant other love. I think the hardest to differentiate is friendship love with the opposite [or your sexual interest… for you political correct peoples] sex and significant other love. Does it simply come down to sexual attraction to make the difference? If you look back at the dictionary.com definition, there are two blunt occurrences of sex (2 & 3). And maybe that’s it… I don’t know. What’s not mentioned is the growth of sexual attraction. Just one day ya wake up from some dream state that you don’t want to leave and realize that you’re sexually attracted to your friend. Don’t believe it, never happened; maybe you just don’t have sexy friends. Hehheh… I’m just kidding; but it does happen. Need an example? “Lovers And Friends” Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris. What was that? You need another one… alright… “My Love Don’t Stop” Craig David. There, [both involve sex by the way] enough said.

And yes, it doesn’t always happen on its own. It seems to always take a blunt/clever/daring (whatever you wanna call ‘em) friend to point out one’s obsession with the friend of the same sexual interest. It doesn’t always happen this way, but many times it has/will… someone says something and you start looking at the person (in question) in a different light.

The difference between Love, Lust, Infatuation, and Obsession… well that’s another time.

Marital Status: Retired - Perfect

Hey! Don’t think I forgot about you; get your ass back here. I told you I’d be back. Like I said, Saturday Night / Sunday Morning I was in some kinda funk. I’m not gonna repost what I said cuz it’s not really what was in my head, but there’s some highlights and basic ideas that’ll show up in this one. Like I said before, it was about my retirement… and like tonight’s return to being human… I’m going back with a different view on thangs. Yes, I’m still retired (and that’s brought on by a lot of stuff) but… I really don’t know how to word it… window of opportunity? I dunno… lemme just lay this down and see where it goes.

I started off by saying that I’m looking for a perfect individual, my companion and counterpart. Obviously, the first objection is going to be “there is real perfect human being.” Now… I love to play with words (if you didn’t get that), so perfect:

per·fect P Pronunciation Key (pûr(image placeholder)f(image placeholder)kt)adj.

• Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind.


• Being without defect or blemish: a perfect specimen.


• Thoroughly skilled or talented in a certain field or area; proficient.


• Completely suited for a particular purpose or situation: She was the perfect actress for the part.


• 
  


• Completely corresponding to a description, standard, or type: a perfect circle; a perfect gentleman.


• Accurately reproducing an original: a perfect copy of the painting.


• Complete; thorough; utter: a perfect fool.


• Pure; undiluted; unmixed: perfect red.


• Excellent and delightful in all respects: a perfect day.


• Botany. Having both stamens and pistils in the same flower; monoclinous.


• Grammar. Of, relating to, or constituting a verb form expressing action completed prior to a fixed point of reference in time.


• Music. Designating the three basic intervals of the octave, fourth, and fifth.

Dictionary.com, always come through in the clutch. First definition: complete of its nature or kind. So for a life partner, she’s got to be complete… a complete partner. Every thing I lack, she must have an essence in or of. As a counterpart, that means every thing I succeed in then must only be a glimmer in her. Hmmm… I’m not sure if I’m okay with that. Now, if she must have everything I lack, and have much of the same knowledge that I have. By sheer amount of knowledge, she would then be better than me and no longer my counterpart. Should I negate her based on that fact? Let’s move on. This is one of those things that begin as an idea, but when it comes to actuality it never appears.

So she’s got this abundant amount of knowledge then she’s got all these other qualities; like a hunger for knowledge. I mean she’s got to have that, if it’s so vivid in me. I’ll never name all the qualities that I need in a person to be considered (we’ll get into this later), but there’s some particular traits that I need. These traits are a part of me and therefore I deem them important. Now, I’m really creating this goddess almost. But I’m realistic and expecting a saint is just outta control (but it would be nice). After a while and after all these quality traits added, at what point do I expect too much? Am I allowed to want something that I've not even a glimmer close to? Basically, I look like I want something that is so much better than me that I don’t deserve it. And it is what it is, now if I think I can ever be satisfied with what I know then maybe I’ll be able to be with someone else. Those of you that know me, or hey if you read the last post… I don’t think I can be ever satisfied with what I know, there won’t be a day where I’m like “you know what; I don’t want to learn anymore.” So now what do I do? I keep designing a person that’s better than me, and that I don’t deserve. It becomes a vicious cycle; I’ll always think I’m not good enough to have such a great thing. Now I could be greedy and spoil myself a little, but I wouldn’t—it’s not my general nature. So I’m stuck… what to do? Find someone who thinks they’re just as lucky to have me and I think I am to have them? Sounds nice… but I’ll never really know if they think they’ve been so blessed. As you can see… it’s a sticky situation.

Basically, when it comes to a relationship I believe in a fair exchange. I wouldn’t want her to appreciate me more than I appreciate her, and vice versa. A fair exchange is hard to come by, not many find it… and when I do find a fair exchange, how can it be a fair exchange if what I've designed has been given to me and I’m nothing of what she has designed? Then what? Finding the one that I’ve designed is difficult, even more difficult is finding the one that I’ve designed and I (and my many flaws) an actual image of her design. Then there are all these things that I must be able to do, things like taking her typical day and making it extraordinary by doing virtually nothing (maybe something so insignificant I don’t even notice I’m doing it, but it was right at the moment she needed it.) It’s complicated, that’s what my relationship status is.

Back to why I am not going to entail all that I’ve designed. I believe in knowing what one is looking for, how are you suppose to find something you have no idea what it looks like? How do you find a needle in a hay stack, if you have no idea what a needle looks like? How do you recognize something you’ve never seen, either mentally or physically? So yes, I’ve picked the traits an individual must have for me to be with them. And I would never say them openly, why? Because I don’t want anyone to be swayed in any direction, I want people to be who they really are. Say for example, a person wants to be with me… and tries to be what I’ve designed [how did I get to be so lucky?] Naturally, she’d want to be what my ideal would be like, and then she is no longer true to herself. And well, by definition, she’s then not my ideal. Basically, I don’t want to sway anyone in any particular direction, all due credit to those that can figure out what I truly want and then tries to be what I truly want, she deserves a chance… but that’s not how I would want it. By putting out the things that you like and those that you’re not attracted to… I believe it gently (if nothing more) sways how a person is around you; and I don’t want that.

Sounds like a sad story, huh? Call it a hero complex, everyone else does. Last time I ended with “In closing, how can I love something that I don’t understand or know? I’m done with tragic endings…” It doesn’t quite fit here but you get a tone of what was said when I wasn’t myself.

Marital Status: Retired - Family

Hey everyone, it’s one of those nights… you know... got the candles lit, just sittin’ back and thinking. Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving so the drawing is a little light tonight… figured I’d devote to y’all. Man… right around this time of the year, I start thinking about what’s change in the last year. Usually starts with the 12th of November… yeah… there’s that 12 again… anyways, back to what I was sayin’… looking back at the past year and what’s changed. I must say, it’s been a lot… But Imma start with something pretty specific… Right now, the major thing that stands in my mind is… I’m not in a relationship. Most of it was by choice and what not, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s… different. I haven’t talked about my martial status on here before… looks like tonight I’m going to start. Those that know me with a little depth… they know I claim I’m retired. Some of you may be asking what you mean by retirement. And it’s exactly that, retirement. I’m done, “I’m walking away” [Craig David – Walking Away]. Lemme explain… I got a lot of reasons, but imma just touch on one right now… maybe something a little later… we’ll see.

As most of your readers already know, I’m studying to be an architect. For all of you that don’t know, architecture is time consuming. For the architect that I want to be and the things I want to achieve… it will consume me, everything of me. I don’t see time for a family that I’m going to leave for extended periods of time. A wife that sleeps in the martial bed alone and the other side of the bed is… cold. If I were to have a wife, I’d want kids as well. What’s the point of marriage if there’s no procreation? I don’t want to have children that grow up without a father, or a wife without a husband. I can’t imagine having a little girl and having her look up at my wife and say “when’s dad coming back?” That’s not right, or a little boy looking up at his mother and saying “when can dad come to one of my games?” That’s fucked up… I can’t have kids that ask questions like that. I can’t just take them with me. That’s another tragic story of a kid without a social life, having to hop from place to place… that’s what I expect my career to do to me. Without any attachments, I wouldn’t have that on my mind… ya know… remove it completely. [Start downloading Fort Minor, Holly Brook, Jonah Matranga – Where’d You Go? I’ll talk about it toward the end of this blog.] And people say “yeah, you could just shorten your career or your ambitions”… I don’t wanna compromise those things, I don’t want to shorten my career; my career isn’t for the fame… “Its not who I am on the inside, it’s what I do” [Batman Begins]. The stuff I want to design and build and have a part of, nothing to do with the fame… its dedicated to those that weren’t given what I was when I was born… reward those that made it though, or stand on the same side of the river. I wanna design places for those kids who have parents that bust their ass everyday to make sure the kid has food, a place to come and develop… intellectually, artistically, in every way positive. And I don’t plan just sticking to the United States; some parts of the United States have homeless shelters that waste food… how ignorant is that… those individuals I can’t help. And how hypocritical is it for me to design those types of buildings and leave my own kids in the dark? It’s a tough choice. If you could save only one family from a burning building, you’re the father/mother of one and the father/mother of the other family is asking you to save theirs… what would you choose? Your own? Theirs? I think the decision is easier, when I take one element out… not to have a family. It’s no longer a choice… it’s a question of whether I have the courage to do it; I say bring that shiet… I was born ready… just needed directions. Did y’all like that… my own little modified quote… alright side-tracked again… back to the topic. It’s tough to raise a family, it takes a lot of time… and the benefits come ten-fold… I just won’t… I won’t deal with not seein’ my children enjoying something that I enjoy so much without me… I won’t bear to not witness them playing in the snow, daughter running up to me sayin’ she made a snow angel. That’s tough… not being able to witness that… just can’t do it. People say I could shorten my career… if I do that… I can’t do everything I wanted to do… Either way, I’ll suffer but… “One person's pain is nothing when compared to the suffering of all” [Hero]. This is my sacrifice to the rest of humanity, let it be known.

Onto the track… basically it just describes what I don’t want to hear… I don’t want to do this to anyone… ever. They feel like shit, I feel like shit. Just won’t do it. Madd props to Fort Minor [Mike Shinoda] Enjoy… shed a tear...

Fort Minor, Holly Brook, and Jonah Matranga - Where'd You Go
[Holly / Jonah]
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone

[Mike]
She said
"Some days I feel like shit / some days I wanna
Quit / and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but the trips always feel so long / and
I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot working my day around a
Call that when I pick up I don't have must to say / so
I want you to know it's a little fucked up / that
I'm stuck here waiting
At time debating telling you that I've had it with you
And your career
Me and the rest of the family here
Singing where'd you go

[Holly / Jonah]
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home

[Mike]
Come back home / you know that place where you used to live?
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every Halloween
With candy by the pile
But now you only stop by every once and a while
(Shit) I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine / and I'm planning to keep it that way
And you can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you:
I want you to know it's a little fucked up / that
I'm stuck here waiting
At time debating telling you that I've had it with
And your career
Me and the rest of the family here
Singing where'd you go

[Holly / Jonah]
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home

[Mike]
I want you to know it's a little fucked up / that
I'm stuck here waiting
No longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around / and feeling so useless
It seems one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here
And you can sing it

[Holly / Jonah]
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home"

Back To Basics

Wow… this needs to be pan out as much as possible… It’s on Google’s main personalized homepage… I’m sure they’ve got it covered… a little more can’t hurt. Please read the link before for proceeding.

I have found truth in every statement… there’s nothing clearer than the ideas that are expressed here. I’m old-fashioned in many ways… these are old fashion ideas… and they work… for what reason why we have changed… I have no idea… back to basics; I believe is what we need. I believe when one person is going to “date” someone else they should go somewhere. Ya know… like a date. I’d say go to a place nice to eat… nice sit down restaurant. I’d prefer this because I can have an expert prepared meal, nice conversation, find some more information about the person across the table, and check up on manners (how the person across the table eats… tells a lot about the person). I believe the more expensive the restaurant, the more important the manners. That essence in natural presentation, we’ve lost that as a society. My father taught me to eat properly, when to use the proper spoon… how to eat… how to present yourself… because only you can truly present it. We’ve all been deduced to savages. Anyways… that was a bit of a tangent. I must say… maintaining a relationship is a rather difficult thing to do. But it’s only difficult because we make it difficult. How hard is it really to speak your mind? Communicate? Sometimes the ideas aren’t expressed clearly… and that’s due to the language barrier… but just attempting to say something means something. Could you image the death-toll if no one spoke their mind about the Vietnam War? Could you image the state of the United States of American, if Dr. King didn’t speak what he truly felt about equality? Furthermore, what Malcolm X said about the same subject? Communication is key… sometimes it’s difficult to convey a message (as it is difficult when I type to all of you) but at least there is something. You have a mind… think, it’s what makes you human. Yes, that means if you don’t have a mind, you’re not human.

.p.s. check those links at the bottom of the page… they’re good too.