As most of your readers already know, I’m studying to be an architect. For all of you that don’t know, architecture is time consuming. For the architect that I want to be and the things I want to achieve… it will consume me, everything of me. I don’t see time for a family that I’m going to leave for extended periods of time. A wife that sleeps in the martial bed alone and the other side of the bed is… cold. If I were to have a wife, I’d want kids as well. What’s the point of marriage if there’s no procreation? I don’t want to have children that grow up without a father, or a wife without a husband. I can’t imagine having a little girl and having her look up at my wife and say “when’s dad coming back?” That’s not right, or a little boy looking up at his mother and saying “when can dad come to one of my games?” That’s fucked up… I can’t have kids that ask questions like that. I can’t just take them with me. That’s another tragic story of a kid without a social life, having to hop from place to place… that’s what I expect my career to do to me. Without any attachments, I wouldn’t have that on my mind… ya know… remove it completely. [Start downloading Fort Minor, Holly Brook, Jonah Matranga – Where’d You Go? I’ll talk about it toward the end of this blog.] And people say “yeah, you could just shorten your career or your ambitions”… I don’t wanna compromise those things, I don’t want to shorten my career; my career isn’t for the fame… “Its not who I am on the inside, it’s what I do” [Batman Begins]. The stuff I want to design and build and have a part of, nothing to do with the fame… its dedicated to those that weren’t given what I was when I was born… reward those that made it though, or stand on the same side of the river. I wanna design places for those kids who have parents that bust their ass everyday to make sure the kid has food, a place to come and develop… intellectually, artistically, in every way positive. And I don’t plan just sticking to the United States; some parts of the United States have homeless shelters that waste food… how ignorant is that… those individuals I can’t help. And how hypocritical is it for me to design those types of buildings and leave my own kids in the dark? It’s a tough choice. If you could save only one family from a burning building, you’re the father/mother of one and the father/mother of the other family is asking you to save theirs… what would you choose? Your own? Theirs? I think the decision is easier, when I take one element out… not to have a family. It’s no longer a choice… it’s a question of whether I have the courage to do it; I say bring that shiet… I was born ready… just needed directions. Did y’all like that… my own little modified quote… alright side-tracked again… back to the topic. It’s tough to raise a family, it takes a lot of time… and the benefits come ten-fold… I just won’t… I won’t deal with not seein’ my children enjoying something that I enjoy so much without me… I won’t bear to not witness them playing in the snow, daughter running up to me sayin’ she made a snow angel. That’s tough… not being able to witness that… just can’t do it. People say I could shorten my career… if I do that… I can’t do everything I wanted to do… Either way, I’ll suffer but… “One person's pain is nothing when compared to the suffering of all” [Hero]. This is my sacrifice to the rest of humanity, let it be known.
Onto the track… basically it just describes what I don’t want to hear… I don’t want to do this to anyone… ever. They feel like shit, I feel like shit. Just won’t do it. Madd props to Fort Minor [Mike Shinoda] Enjoy… shed a tear...
Fort Minor, Holly Brook, and Jonah Matranga - Where'd You Go
[Holly / Jonah]
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
[Mike]
She said
"Some days I feel like shit / some days I wanna
Quit / and just be normal for a bit
I don't understand why you have to always be gone
I get along but the trips always feel so long / and
I find myself trying to stay by the phone
'Cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone
But I feel like an idiot working my day around a
Call that when I pick up I don't have must to say / so
I want you to know it's a little fucked up / that
I'm stuck here waiting
At time debating telling you that I've had it with you
And your career
Me and the rest of the family here
Singing where'd you go
[Holly / Jonah]
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home
[Mike]
Come back home / you know that place where you used to live?
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs
Used to have a little party every Halloween
With candy by the pile
But now you only stop by every once and a while
(Shit) I find myself just filling my time
With anything to keep the thought of you from my mind
I'm doing fine / and I'm planning to keep it that way
And you can call me if you find that you have something to say
And I'll tell you:
I want you to know it's a little fucked up / that
I'm stuck here waiting
At time debating telling you that I've had it with
And your career
Me and the rest of the family here
Singing where'd you go
[Holly / Jonah]
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home
[Mike]
I want you to know it's a little fucked up / that
I'm stuck here waiting
No longer debating
Tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses
For why you're not around / and feeling so useless
It seems one thing has been true all along
You don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone
I guess I've had it with you and your career
When you come back I won't be here
And you can sing it
[Holly / Jonah]
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Where'd you go / I miss you so
Seems like it's been forever
That you've been gone
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home
Please come back home"
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