Hey everyone, how’s everyone doing tonight? Good, I hope… Carl is back for a session from the mind.
I've realized not many individuals see me and all of my many complexities. Let’s be honest and state that many don’t care, I think this is largely due to the fact that my persona during the day is rather distasteful (at times). Well, even I think it is, so it’s gotta be. Ahhh, the difference between day and night, the way I am during the day and the way I am when the sun sets are very different individuals. During the day, I am rather confident people mistake this as arrogant. I think this is the wrong impression of me, I don’t believe I’m arrogant… I believe I’m willing to express my opinion and speak my mind (and from the heart). I think that’s the thing that keeps both sides still me. Whether its daylight or the night sky, I’m always ready to speak from my heart. It’s just how I express it, that’s different. At night, I’m not as blunt so to speak, I speak differently. Most that read my blog, receive this “voice.” My friends that I have usually aren’t people that I have in class or people that I hang out with in big crowds. I take a different tone then, when I’m in class that is. Competition turns gentlemen into animals… I don’t mean to make an individual look bad in front of a group when I notice something that they might not have thought about, it just comes off that way. I believe there is a time a place for everything, with this in mind there are times when my night side appears in the day. This usually happens when there’s a one-on-one encounter with someone. At this point, I don’t believe I have to portray my dominance, I guess… I don’t know why I do it during the day, I think a part of it can be attributed to the fact that I’m at a very cut-throat position in Architecture. I just have that tendency to keep an eye over my shoulder to see who’s listening in on my ideas… I’m pretty sure I spoke about this before… people biting off another person’s ideas; it’s a lot easier in a studio. [Then again, you can’t create a buzz in no one sees you] So I guess if people really want to get to know me, they have to notice that small change that happens or occurs during the day, and wonder more about the level of complexity that everyone has; or to catch me, along with the other owls. We, as people in the world, can’t assume anything about individuals that have the ability to change. Since we are all human, we can’t assume anything about anyone. That whole can’t judge a book by its cover, yeah… I can’t look at someone and honestly know everything about them… or monitor how they conduct themselves and know why they do it. I think that’s why people are so interesting, I enjoy meeting people… just sometimes I’m not a person that’s very meet-able, if that makes any sense. The aura that I emit during the day is different than the aura that surrounds me at night. There are small glimpses in which you can see my nocturnal nature during the day, hopefully after schooling and all that, when I've proven myself to myself, that nocturnal persona can take over; this one, the one that speaks to you now; the one that always talks to you in the late hours of the night or early hours of the morning (whichever you prefer, and whenever you prefer to read my posts). I wonder though, would my nocturnal persona reveal itself in the studio, at night? I believe it has before, but I’m not quite sure. If the room was filled with people and the sun has already set, would I be nocturnal? Only time will answer this question… year end show is coming! I’m excited; hopefully someone comes to see my work. And for those that think they know me and have only seen me in the studio… well you’d probably wouldn’t be here, so that doesn’t exactly work… anyways… I know I’m one of those people you kinda want to know about (or you gotta kinda wonder about), that’s where that level of complexity comes from… following from that is the existence of the blog. I love this blog… I promote the damn thing every chance I get… you guys should be too *hint hint* anyways… I apologize for this post is only proposing small theories and whatnot… just something I needed to get off my chest and I needed an audience that consisted more than my sketchbook. Alright, I’m out… I got kinda a headache, been kinda sick… gonna get some fluids and sleep. Out.