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3.25.2006

Love Is...

Welcome… everyone. I’ll be honest; I’m out here second guessing myself again. Thought I had it all sorted out? The problem lies in the doors I left open. I was told once that I fear falling in love. I’d say I’d welcome it, but I’ll do nothing about it. So really what’s the point then? I've thought about love on many occasions. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I think I got some important information to consider. So here it is, my love definition.

So it’s quite clear that everyone is looking for love… well it seems that way. But honestly, what are we looking for? How do we define love? [Take note… we] If you didn’t notice, there are different degrees for love. Is there something like true love? How is that different than real love? Are they the same thing? If they were… why do we define them differently? All the answers will come in good time. As always, we’ll start with dictionary.com.

love P Pronunciation Key (l(image placeholder)v)n.

  • A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. [Sense of Underlying Oneness… nicely put.]

  • A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.



  • Sexual passion.

  • Sexual intercourse.

  • A love affair.

  • An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

  • A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

  • An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.



  • A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.

  • The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.

  • Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.

  • often Love Christianity. Charity.

  • Sports. A zero score in tennis.
All strong definitions, I suppose… but how do we differentiate? Is it left to the individual? I think that’s really what it is. I can give you general thoughts about love but it really comes down to a person to decide the difference. That’s what I suppose is most difficult (I’ll explain later). But hey listen… before my definition of love was “Like a chamber of the heart, one cannot live without (insert name).” This included family, friends, and significant others. I've since adjusted this in my mind; I still believe it’s true; I need something that defines what we live with and what love really is. And as I was rolling this around in my mind, I wanted to include this idea of “love at first sight.” [Yeah, I’m still a dreamer so I gotta include this.] I think my first definition is good, but it takes times to consider something a chamber of the heart. So, I said “alright, what adjustment can I make that will include the occurrence of love at first sight?” Then it hit me, when I think of something like a painting or architecture or a poem… there’s an instant where it just fills you up with joy; and when you learn more about it… the more you like it. And if you learn something about it and it turns you off… you no longer like it. So what I’m trying to say is… emotion can happen at an instance; there’s this feeling that overtakes an individual. And its love when the more you learn about it, the more you like/appreciate/love it. Agreed? Because seriously, the more you learn about something if you learn something you don’t like, there’s no happy emotion about it. There’s no respect, no love, no like, no crush, nothing. When ya learn something you like about it, the love only grows. I think this would account for “love at first sight.” And yes, it takes time to realize this still, but it allows for it to happen in an instance. Someone can fall in love at an instance and not even realize it, until they start learning more about it. When they realize they like it more and more, then it is or was always love.

The reason why this is so important to me is because I overuse the word. I love this (I hate this) or I love that (I hate that)… I gotta define it. I have to find a definition. And really, it’s up to me to decide the difference between paternal love and kinship love and significant other love. I think the hardest to differentiate is friendship love with the opposite [or your sexual interest… for you political correct peoples] sex and significant other love. Does it simply come down to sexual attraction to make the difference? If you look back at the dictionary.com definition, there are two blunt occurrences of sex (2 & 3). And maybe that’s it… I don’t know. What’s not mentioned is the growth of sexual attraction. Just one day ya wake up from some dream state that you don’t want to leave and realize that you’re sexually attracted to your friend. Don’t believe it, never happened; maybe you just don’t have sexy friends. Hehheh… I’m just kidding; but it does happen. Need an example? “Lovers And Friends” Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris. What was that? You need another one… alright… “My Love Don’t Stop” Craig David. There, [both involve sex by the way] enough said.

And yes, it doesn’t always happen on its own. It seems to always take a blunt/clever/daring (whatever you wanna call ‘em) friend to point out one’s obsession with the friend of the same sexual interest. It doesn’t always happen this way, but many times it has/will… someone says something and you start looking at the person (in question) in a different light.

The difference between Love, Lust, Infatuation, and Obsession… well that’s another time.

2 comments:

Nathalie said...

I thought it was interesting that you said a romantic love is basically defined by love + sexual desires for a person. I disagree. Perhaps the importance of those carnal feelings should be left up to the parties involved. Maybe it's because I'm a girl or just a romantic at heart (no matter how much I deny it), but that type of love happens when you realize you don't want to spend the rest of your life without that person. Or maybe it's the instant you realize that you want to be a better person because of them. It's the moment it hits you that no one else can make you feel this way. Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason when it comes to love.

Tainted Dragon said...

Oh Nathalie... so it appears love is the topic to get you to comment. Well then, let's talk about love.

Yes, the importance of carnal feelings should be left up to the parties involved... it is not my place to say how important it should be to a relationship. What I'm presenting is that a romantic relationship more often than we would like to admit begins with a sexual want/desire/need.

I agree that love is that moment in time that you would never want to live without this certain individual. There's a problem though, if (or when?) this feeling goes away, do you no longer love this person? Or is the love simply changed. Again, the blur between romantic love and friendship love is difficult to define. I would argue that my friends (parents, and family) have influenced me to become a better person. In some strange way... do I love my friends romantically. I don't believe so. But I would describe that relationship with them as love.

Last, but not least, "no one else can make you feel this way." Really, only you can answer this... but does this mean you can only love once? Before you realize that you no longer love that person and move to the next? And when you no longer move, is that then true love? And when, mon cheri, are we suppose to judge when this is possible? We all know, things aren't as clear in the clouds of a crush.

Oh dear me, it seems I've written too much once again... but it is a touchy subject (no pun intended). "Sometimes there is no rhyme or reason when it comes to love;" and to get love many would go to great lengths because "all is fair in love (and war)."