Ha! Yeah right, but it’s a nice transition into tonight’s topic. You know that “How to” page on Google’s homepage is really good. It comments on many different topics that are pretty epic. http://wiki.ehow.com/Make-Your-Parents-Love-You-for-Who-You-Are, that’s a good page if you haven’t read it, it was posted a few days ago. I think your parents, ya gotta be on good terms or else it’s hard to do something you believe in… it’s hard to go through a struggle without any support. Anyways, that’s a topic for next time. Even still tonight’s [was pre-thought before this http://wiki.ehow.com/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship showed up, nevertheless its nice information to read afterwards… it’s a different view (kinda)] topic is on relationships with people (other than your parents). I spend all this time praising wiki.ehow.com and now my argument differs from it. Here’s an original idea: read both and decide on something for yourself. I’m merely presenting my view of things.
Friends… quite possibly the only thing that is so common but not a whole lot of individuals know how to do it correctly. That’s kinda a negative view; I know there are many individuals that have no one else to depend on. It’s that what a friend is some one to depend on? It’s not all they are, but it’s a pretty important trait. When it comes to friends, it’s difficult to find the one that is genuine. I think I’ve been blessed with quite a few individuals I can truly depend on. The criteria for a good friend are pretty extensive, and I know I won’t hit on all the traits… but hopefully I’ll get the heavy hitters.
friend P Pronunciation Key (fr(image placeholder)nd)n.
- A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
- A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
- A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
- One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.
- Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
Dictionary.com always provides a pretty good basis; I always take it with a grain of salt. I’d argue with 2 and you’ll see why in a little bit. I want to highlight 3 though; I think that’s pretty important.
The people I call friends has quite a few individuals in it, truly individuals, people are very different from each other. And I love it, it’s not just those individuals that I grew up with, so we’re not bound by the simple fact of time. I have newer friends and I have elementary school friends, and they all follow under my criteria for friend. In our current era, (and I’m not helping this either by joining facebook.com, I’ll argue for this later) the term friend has been abused and mistreated. [I see www.facebook.com as a way to keep in touch with individuals that have flown away, it’s nice to check up on people… see how the trials of life have developed whomever, and it’s not to the extent that it is like a stalker (i.e. friendster.com or whatever it is)]
Lemme get on point, I wanna take that definition I highlighted and start there. In the struggle that we call life, we’ll find individuals fighting for the same thing that we’re fighting for. Whether it’s a real problem we’re trying to solve or just trying to have that time where we can take it easy, we’ll have people trying to achieve the same thing. When I think of the people I call friends, I could (and have) told them by dreams and my plans for life. There’s no feeling of their reaction as negative. When you tell someone your dream (not the one some of you have a night), there are a few things that could happen (I’m highlighting two): they could laugh at you or they could accept you (maybe even try to help you get there). When I’ve discussed what I wanted to do in life, (and maybe this is by general nature) but there’s never a fear of being laughed at; further more, I haven’t been laughed at—why tell someone something you truly believe in, if you think you’re going to be laughed at. There are all these intangibles when it comes to friends, it’s never anything material. With this comfort zone of being able to tell someone your deepest thoughts, there comes qualities of the relationship—trust, I think, is the biggest. I trust they won’t laugh, I trust they will accept it, and I trust them with that information. Anyone that’s two-face is not a friend, and everyone knows this but no one really believes it. People can tell when someone isn’t being genuine; you can hear it in their voice or tell by their body language. And I know it’s the tip of the iceberg, but I lost my train of thought [the next section is nagging me to get to it]
So, how to be a good friend… well be genuine. That ehowto I gave earlier, I would argue that’s what makes a good friend relationship. The “how to” takes about a relationship in terms of significant other. I argue all those qualities should be present with your friends. The first section, that’s the best statement of telling the truth to people. Another quality a good friend should have is a good listener. Listen. I’m not talking about just hearing them out, letting them vent. They could vent to a teddy bear or bottle if they wanted to, when someone says something to you—listen to it, and think about it (it’s not hard…). How can you give feedback if you’re not listening? Again, tip of the iceberg, but the next section is naggin’ me [man, I type pretty quickly, there’s got to be a way where I can just think and it types it all out].
Now I argue the “how to” shows how to be a good friend (and it was intended to show how to have a healthy relationship), so the question comes up how do we pick a significant other? Because obviously those qualities have to be present when picking a significant other, what separates a friend from a significant other? Now I haven’t completely mapped this out, but there are a few things that would separate a friend from a significant other. I think being attracted to, is something small but a part of it. More importantly is someone you want to procreate with. Someone you want to create life with, that’s not exactly something that’s done between friends. I know I’m a reflection of (both) my parents, I can see traits and qualities of both. Think about this when picking a significant other. Basically, what would you like your kids to be like? This will probably lead to some argument for dating, something along the lines of seeing how they react to particular situations and finding their true nature (we’ll talk about this later). But back on point, significant other, the person you marry is and should be someone you’d like to see copies of—someone to procreate with. Here’s something to think about: How can you choose who to be with, if you’re not comfortable with yourself?
And as always, these are my opinions; they have been developed as a result of my experiences and thoughts. With that, I always welcome yours because they are derived from your experiences and your thoughts.