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10.23.2008

Keep the story going

So it came up again... the inevitable (and somehow frequent) question from my parents.  Although it comes in many shapes and different wordings, it all means the same thing.

"Are you going to get a job?"

Being immigrants to this country, my parents expect me to grab a traditional 9-to-5 (potentially boring-ass) American job.  It seems as though they want me to disregard what they've been through to make it.  They struggled, and with the unbelievable help of my aunts and uncles, they own their own restaurant, at least two homes, a stock portfolio and (eventually) two college graduated sons; all things considered, they're pretty successful in the eyes of most.  No, they're not millionaires, but I suppose this is where I come in.  Taking a 9-5er, I think, would be a "slap in the face" to the American story already being told. 

I feel this pressure gnawing at my side and a sharp pain whenever they ask about my plans.  I wouldn't dare settle for less than owning my own company, and at the very least I want to be as successful as my father.  But I also want to be enjoying what I'm doing, something I know my parents want for me.  So I studied Architecture.  But I have a passion for Film, and Music, and Fashion, and Politics, and Technology... so what do I do?  How could I possibly narrow this down?  And if I did, would that be fair to me, and everything my parents worked for?  And so I've been working on this problem, trying to figure out something that encompasses it all.  But I don't have anything to show for it.

I spend most of my days (at home) writing/editing/designing/formatting the various projects I have.  I wish what I was building was physical, something to point at and say "see, I am doing something."  But when they see me, they just think I'm on the computer all day--which I am--but my work is in this little machine that I'm so fond of.  This is where my father found me, a few days ago, and said something that has always been clear in my mind but never voiced.

"Make a job, or take a job"

Does that mean I can only make one?

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