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3.27.2006

Music.

I don’t know what it is with Music; songs, beats, lyrics… from classical to hip-hop to rock to techno & dance; all of it. The more I hear it, the more I beg for it. When I hear music, it flows through me… in its entirety. Sometimes (just sometimes), I think musicians are the only individuals that can reach me. The only people that can talk to me and have me understand everything so clearly. [And I know this isn’t true, I understand the people around me. As you already read, I believe I’m a pretty understanding.] There’s this presence with music, whatever needs to be said is captured in this 3-5 min spam of time full of energy, rhythm and emotion. I know not everyone feels like this, or embraces it quite like I do; and maybe this is just a pitch to open some minds and see something in a new light, but wow… I. Love. Music.

If you think about it… there’s just about a song to fit every mood and moment. There’s not a time where there isn’t music playing in my room. I just gotta have it on. It’s my alarm clock in the morning [from my computer, not my radio]. It helps me work on my projects, and it helps me not to destroy my own mind. Just to know that some one else has been there before, it’s more productive than thinking I’m the only one that feels this emotion. As you can probably tell, music has saved me on more than one occasion. The great thing about music, is it affects almost everyone in a different manner. Some with have the same feeling toward it… but never is it exactly the same.

Let’s say for example… there’s this guy and he hears Track 13 on a CD, and he thinks of a girl. And for him… it plays and plays, even when the music isn’t on. And all the time, he’s wishing the lyrics are talking about him or referencing him in some way or another. But on the other end of the world, the girl is hearing the song and thinking about someone else. She’s dying to say the words to her secret. Her and the guy that wants her, they’re at about the same passion level, but they’re miles away from each other. Same song, same feelings, different effects. At the same instance, Track 10 on the same CD is bringing two people together.

That’s the power of a CD… and that’s the power of a song. That’s the power of Music.

3.25.2006

Dreams

What is it about dreams that keep us lying in bed just a little longer. We all know once we open our eyes, the dreams never return. Maybe it’s the hope of returning to a place where everything seems like it should be… maybe it’s just an escape for our reality. These coded messages that occur when my eyes shut… there’s something about them…

When I was younger, I’d dream… they were about places afar, girls, and gifts. The images would be compiled mixes of things I've already seen and augmented in whatever way seemed fit for my mind. I used to dream of places where things weren’t “normal” or what I was used to. Places where skies weren’t blue and grass wasn’t green. And those dreams still come, but I never try to remember them. I used to dream of gifts, things given to me that would, as a child, make my life better. Maybe a telescope or a new computer… those dreams I just keep stored until I have the bank account to support them. Since I’m so into comics naturally, I’d have gifts there weren’t human… and I've since realized they were merely because of the images I've seen and that I am human… flawed in every way that makes me, me. And yes, dreams of girls… being in a relationship, trips to various places around the world, and of course nocturnal happenings. Although they were never nightmares, they still haunted me then.

Then there was a time where I couldn’t remember a dream at all. Maybe about a year went by where I couldn’t remember a dream once I woke up, I couldn’t even remember having one. At the time, I didn’t think too much of it. It was simply something that didn’t happen. I felt I was content with my life and I never needed to escape it. I lived by the quote “I don’t sleep to dream, I sleep to build stamina,” [Mike Shinoda on a DJ Vice Freestyle]. I don’t remember the day, but my dreams have returned. And it has lead to the question of “Why do we dream?”

As always, I won’t say any names but you can probably tell by my recent posts… and again I’m left with the request that these dreams leave me or that I find something about them… another reason for there presence. And this might be a singular thing that only pertains to me… but dreams have always had something to be read in them. For me, they have to take place somewhere. Most of the time, it’s in a building structure of some kind. Because of this, I have accepted the function of dreaming. And from that, let me make use of them… free and unrestricted imagination. Let me take these dreams and install them into reality. Now that I think about the quote… if I longer can be imaginative while I’m awake, then I will dream/sleep. Come to think of it, I love that quote.

Love Is...

Welcome… everyone. I’ll be honest; I’m out here second guessing myself again. Thought I had it all sorted out? The problem lies in the doors I left open. I was told once that I fear falling in love. I’d say I’d welcome it, but I’ll do nothing about it. So really what’s the point then? I've thought about love on many occasions. I don’t claim to have all the answers, but I think I got some important information to consider. So here it is, my love definition.

So it’s quite clear that everyone is looking for love… well it seems that way. But honestly, what are we looking for? How do we define love? [Take note… we] If you didn’t notice, there are different degrees for love. Is there something like true love? How is that different than real love? Are they the same thing? If they were… why do we define them differently? All the answers will come in good time. As always, we’ll start with dictionary.com.

love P Pronunciation Key (l(image placeholder)v)n.

  • A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. [Sense of Underlying Oneness… nicely put.]

  • A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.



  • Sexual passion.

  • Sexual intercourse.

  • A love affair.

  • An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.

  • A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.

  • An expression of one's affection: Send him my love.



  • A strong predilection or enthusiasm: a love of language.

  • The object of such an enthusiasm: The outdoors is her greatest love.

  • Love Mythology. Eros or Cupid.

  • often Love Christianity. Charity.

  • Sports. A zero score in tennis.
All strong definitions, I suppose… but how do we differentiate? Is it left to the individual? I think that’s really what it is. I can give you general thoughts about love but it really comes down to a person to decide the difference. That’s what I suppose is most difficult (I’ll explain later). But hey listen… before my definition of love was “Like a chamber of the heart, one cannot live without (insert name).” This included family, friends, and significant others. I've since adjusted this in my mind; I still believe it’s true; I need something that defines what we live with and what love really is. And as I was rolling this around in my mind, I wanted to include this idea of “love at first sight.” [Yeah, I’m still a dreamer so I gotta include this.] I think my first definition is good, but it takes times to consider something a chamber of the heart. So, I said “alright, what adjustment can I make that will include the occurrence of love at first sight?” Then it hit me, when I think of something like a painting or architecture or a poem… there’s an instant where it just fills you up with joy; and when you learn more about it… the more you like it. And if you learn something about it and it turns you off… you no longer like it. So what I’m trying to say is… emotion can happen at an instance; there’s this feeling that overtakes an individual. And its love when the more you learn about it, the more you like/appreciate/love it. Agreed? Because seriously, the more you learn about something if you learn something you don’t like, there’s no happy emotion about it. There’s no respect, no love, no like, no crush, nothing. When ya learn something you like about it, the love only grows. I think this would account for “love at first sight.” And yes, it takes time to realize this still, but it allows for it to happen in an instance. Someone can fall in love at an instance and not even realize it, until they start learning more about it. When they realize they like it more and more, then it is or was always love.

The reason why this is so important to me is because I overuse the word. I love this (I hate this) or I love that (I hate that)… I gotta define it. I have to find a definition. And really, it’s up to me to decide the difference between paternal love and kinship love and significant other love. I think the hardest to differentiate is friendship love with the opposite [or your sexual interest… for you political correct peoples] sex and significant other love. Does it simply come down to sexual attraction to make the difference? If you look back at the dictionary.com definition, there are two blunt occurrences of sex (2 & 3). And maybe that’s it… I don’t know. What’s not mentioned is the growth of sexual attraction. Just one day ya wake up from some dream state that you don’t want to leave and realize that you’re sexually attracted to your friend. Don’t believe it, never happened; maybe you just don’t have sexy friends. Hehheh… I’m just kidding; but it does happen. Need an example? “Lovers And Friends” Usher, Lil Jon, Ludacris. What was that? You need another one… alright… “My Love Don’t Stop” Craig David. There, [both involve sex by the way] enough said.

And yes, it doesn’t always happen on its own. It seems to always take a blunt/clever/daring (whatever you wanna call ‘em) friend to point out one’s obsession with the friend of the same sexual interest. It doesn’t always happen this way, but many times it has/will… someone says something and you start looking at the person (in question) in a different light.

The difference between Love, Lust, Infatuation, and Obsession… well that’s another time.

3.15.2006

Marital Status: Retired - Perfect

Hey! Don’t think I forgot about you; get your ass back here. I told you I’d be back. Like I said, Saturday Night / Sunday Morning I was in some kinda funk. I’m not gonna repost what I said cuz it’s not really what was in my head, but there’s some highlights and basic ideas that’ll show up in this one. Like I said before, it was about my retirement… and like tonight’s return to being human… I’m going back with a different view on thangs. Yes, I’m still retired (and that’s brought on by a lot of stuff) but… I really don’t know how to word it… window of opportunity? I dunno… lemme just lay this down and see where it goes.

I started off by saying that I’m looking for a perfect individual, my companion and counterpart. Obviously, the first objection is going to be “there is real perfect human being.” Now… I love to play with words (if you didn’t get that), so perfect:

per·fect P Pronunciation Key (pûr(image placeholder)f(image placeholder)kt)adj.

  • Lacking nothing essential to the whole; complete of its nature or kind.

  • Being without defect or blemish: a perfect specimen.

  • Thoroughly skilled or talented in a certain field or area; proficient.

  • Completely suited for a particular purpose or situation: She was the perfect actress for the part.



  • Completely corresponding to a description, standard, or type: a perfect circle; a perfect gentleman.

  • Accurately reproducing an original: a perfect copy of the painting.

  • Complete; thorough; utter: a perfect fool.

  • Pure; undiluted; unmixed: perfect red.

  • Excellent and delightful in all respects: a perfect day.

  • Botany. Having both stamens and pistils in the same flower; monoclinous.

  • Grammar. Of, relating to, or constituting a verb form expressing action completed prior to a fixed point of reference in time.

  • Music. Designating the three basic intervals of the octave, fourth, and fifth.
Dictionary.com, always come through in the clutch. First definition: complete of its nature or kind. So for a life partner, she’s got to be complete… a complete partner. Every thing I lack, she must have an essence in or of. As a counterpart, that means every thing I succeed in then must only be a glimmer in her. Hmmm… I’m not sure if I’m okay with that. Now, if she must have everything I lack, and have much of the same knowledge that I have. By sheer amount of knowledge, she would then be better than me and no longer my counterpart. Should I negate her based on that fact? Let’s move on. This is one of those things that begin as an idea, but when it comes to actuality it never appears.

So she’s got this abundant amount of knowledge then she’s got all these other qualities; like a hunger for knowledge. I mean she’s got to have that, if it’s so vivid in me. I’ll never name all the qualities that I need in a person to be considered (we’ll get into this later), but there’s some particular traits that I need. These traits are a part of me and therefore I deem them important. Now, I’m really creating this goddess almost. But I’m realistic and expecting a saint is just outta control (but it would be nice). After a while and after all these quality traits added, at what point do I expect too much? Am I allowed to want something that I've not even a glimmer close to? Basically, I look like I want something that is so much better than me that I don’t deserve it. And it is what it is, now if I think I can ever be satisfied with what I know then maybe I’ll be able to be with someone else. Those of you that know me, or hey if you read the last post… I don’t think I can be ever satisfied with what I know, there won’t be a day where I’m like “you know what; I don’t want to learn anymore.” So now what do I do? I keep designing a person that’s better than me, and that I don’t deserve. It becomes a vicious cycle; I’ll always think I’m not good enough to have such a great thing. Now I could be greedy and spoil myself a little, but I wouldn’t—it’s not my general nature. So I’m stuck… what to do? Find someone who thinks they’re just as lucky to have me and I think I am to have them? Sounds nice… but I’ll never really know if they think they’ve been so blessed. As you can see… it’s a sticky situation.

Basically, when it comes to a relationship I believe in a fair exchange. I wouldn’t want her to appreciate me more than I appreciate her, and vice versa. A fair exchange is hard to come by, not many find it… and when I do find a fair exchange, how can it be a fair exchange if what I've designed has been given to me and I’m nothing of what she has designed? Then what? Finding the one that I’ve designed is difficult, even more difficult is finding the one that I’ve designed and I (and my many flaws) an actual image of her design. Then there are all these things that I must be able to do, things like taking her typical day and making it extraordinary by doing virtually nothing (maybe something so insignificant I don’t even notice I’m doing it, but it was right at the moment she needed it.) It’s complicated, that’s what my relationship status is.

Back to why I am not going to entail all that I’ve designed. I believe in knowing what one is looking for, how are you suppose to find something you have no idea what it looks like? How do you find a needle in a hay stack, if you have no idea what a needle looks like? How do you recognize something you’ve never seen, either mentally or physically? So yes, I’ve picked the traits an individual must have for me to be with them. And I would never say them openly, why? Because I don’t want anyone to be swayed in any direction, I want people to be who they really are. Say for example, a person wants to be with me… and tries to be what I’ve designed [how did I get to be so lucky?] Naturally, she’d want to be what my ideal would be like, and then she is no longer true to herself. And well, by definition, she’s then not my ideal. Basically, I don’t want to sway anyone in any particular direction, all due credit to those that can figure out what I truly want and then tries to be what I truly want, she deserves a chance… but that’s not how I would want it. By putting out the things that you like and those that you’re not attracted to… I believe it gently (if nothing more) sways how a person is around you; and I don’t want that.

Sounds like a sad story, huh? Call it a hero complex, everyone else does. Last time I ended with “In closing, how can I love something that I don’t understand or know? I’m done with tragic endings…” It doesn’t quite fit here but you get a tone of what was said when I wasn’t myself.

3.14.2006

Still [Only] Human

Hey all, how’s everyone doing? Man… I don’t know if y’all saw that a few days ago, but I posted when I was intoxicated. You know there’s that little warning, do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of alcohol or any other drug… yeah… my blog should be in included. After much deliberation, sober, I chose to take it down. Don’t worry; it’s not a post that is completely lost. I will be discussing it later tonight. It was about my retirement and I preferred it be presented in a more honorable manner, such a delicate situation deserves that.

Today, including tonight is all about being human. Someone once said to me... “Carl, are you sure you’re still human?” And I kinda laughed it off… but underneath it all it was like I was becoming a machine; like I was losing my humanity. I cannot be detached from a race that I’m trying to protect and better. I can’t lose being human. Clearly, I’m not divine so I need to prove that I’m not a machine. So here comes the question, can I change myself? Can I better myself? Even of the most advanced machines today cannot notice their own flaws and improve themselves. And that there is key, noticing one’s own flaws. How can you better yourself if you don’t know what you lack? Furthermore, how can I preach something that I don’t even do myself? And yes, there have been times where I was a particular way and I changed it. And along with many great human things, no one was available to witness it in its entirety. So, how do I lead by example when there is no example?

I, of course, already know the answer [or else I wouldn’t be here talking about it]. I feel as though I lack in the reading department. I don’t believe I’ve read enough; yes, I read books from class, but books from class don’t nearly cover as much as I should have read. And yeah, I read stuff about philosophy and about architecture, and I’m in tune with poetry and various amounts of literature. But I’m still lacking in the reading department. I don’t read enough, period; there’s no doubt about it. So to be more well-read, I am taking it upon myself to read more. It’s far easier to change oneself, than to change another. So instead of waiting for someone to make me read [like all those that have tried before], I am going to pick a book up on my own and lead by example. As this blog is a promise to me, and I don’t know how y’all can check on me, but I hope that you will begin to notice the change… hopefully references to novels and plays as well as music and movies will begin to appear. But wait, there’s more. It appears there’s an obligation from the audience.

Simply, I ask for material. How can I be well rounded without hearing from various sources? I have spoken to my closest avid readers and requested a comprehensive list, I hope this list varies as much as the character of these individuals I have asked. Even with this, it is not going to be enough. If you have a suggestion, please never hesitate to present it here. I wait with a willing mind and open hands.

3.07.2006

The Comeback

What’s up? How’s every one doing? How’s everyone doing? Yeah, that’s deliberately two separate questions. [How is every (single) one (person) doing and how is everyone (collectively) doing.] All is well, I hope. I’m kinda in some other element today. Not in my usual self, but it’s all gravy. I planned for a free write last night. Seriously, it was suppose to be a meditation and just to see what came up… what was on the mind. Because of some particular factors, that wasn’t possible. Funny thing is, amidst of that events I found a topic. As usual it’s pretty broad and general, but as always, I hope that it will apply to you in some way or another. As always, my mind is racing… but the mind is supposed to move faster than anything physical [the mind isn’t bound by anything physical].

I touched on that whole, “how I know I’m right” stuff before and I wanted to bring it up again. Right and wrong… it’s something that really cannot be decided upon (ever). What seems to be right may be held wrong in another context or culture. The easiest example of this is any political debate. Pick any political issue, the reason it’s an issue is some feel its right and some believe it’s wrong. I try my best to not live in absolutes; it’s a bad thing to do. There’s always a grey area, the “right” answer is never crystal clear. Anyways, I’m sidetracking here but… back to the subject.

How do I know I’m right? Hmmm… I’ll be honest and say I’m not. I always allow for another person to give me another opinion. I practically beg you to comment here, [that hardly gets answered, but that’s okay]. I’m always begging for a fault in my thinking. So that my thinking and be restructured and hopefully for the better. Some may argue how it is possible that I believe in my decisions or choices so faithfully. I’d answer with “because we have to believe in something.” Many people think I’m being arrogant, when really I’m just confident in what I’m doing. If they would simply just pay a little more attention and give the amount I give in return, then we’d be pretty clear on things. The people that are pretty close to me (and even ask for my advice), I pretty sure they believe me to be a pretty understanding kinda guy… I see a situation in its entirety, not much escapes me. It all gets factored in, when I respond to people. I respect people for what they are; I stay away from generalizations and give humans human qualities. Like the ability to change, adjust, be understanding, and be intelligent, just to name a few. Yeah, that was a tangent but anyways…

Now this all came up when was in a pretty odd situation. You ever notice how those that retire can never really leave? Like Jordan, he came back so many different times. Jay-Z, he retires… but only from making complete CDs. He just gets on the tracks with other people. DMX [one of my favorites] claimed his 2003 CD was his last, yeah there’s another expected by the end of the summer. Smashing Pumpkins reuniting? And what’s this I hear about Guns N’ Roses? Why is it so difficult to walk away from something we love? I claimed my retirement from a few things, and I started to second guess them all. The difficulty is I reasoned them all out. I know why I retired from them. And they’re still clear as day, the decision that is. When I think about it, I still follow the same path to the same decision. Now this may be attributed to the fact that no one has been able to successfully refute my retirement.

So as I’ve been rolling this around in my head; but I wasn’t thinking about it when I was doing Architecture stuff last night. And there was this whole big thing about me having to watch “How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days,” [long story short: there was a whole bunch of cosmological messages hinting to this movie, over the last few weeks. It was mentioned something like 4-6 times in 2-3 weeks.] And so I watched it while I was working on some Architecture stuff. At the end of the movie, I sat there and was like “what is there for me to learn, what message am I suppose to get.” And what was in my mind while I was watching it was: Things never always work out as it was planned. [There’s an issue with wording, but whatever] [Removing as many names and details as possible] it came up to “Am I supposed to reconsider my retirement, because ‘things never always work out the way it was planned.’” And I rolled that around in my mind, and then I remember a conversation that I had earlier in the night that appears to be pretty significant. I’m quoting myself here but I said “sometimes as humans we must be content with the fact that sometimes the solution isn't available and the one we chose just has to be satisfactory.” And the context of the conversation that this quote comes from really has nothing to do with my retirement; it was with/about someone else. The application to this situation is apparent. I guess I just gotta stick with my decision, until some thing pulls me toward another direction. Any thoughts?

***

Most of you already know, I’m a design student… trying to design everything I suppose. And it appears I designed my own future… and yet no one has anything to say about it. I don’t give a damn how good a designer is; they will always have those individuals that argue against it. And this is because design isn’t universally agreeable. It’s too general, and too broad. So if the objection is out there, then there must be someone to bring it.

3.01.2006

Hello Friend

Wow… it’s been a while, it’s like every time I get to do this is few and far in between. It’s like trying to meet with an old friend; plans don’t always fit right and all that stuff. But don’t forget, I love doing this. So hello old friend, how is everything? As always, I hope all is well and if not it will be. Man… a lot has happened since I was last on here, let’s see… hmmm… lots of work (but you already knew that, because if there wasn’t I’d be on here), you probably don’t care too much for it [if it was architecture, I’d be all about it; but its like trivial stuff, not even school work.] So what’s happened? Just life, I suppose. I got married.


Ha! Yeah right, but it’s a nice transition into tonight’s topic. You know that “How to” page on Google’s homepage is really good. It comments on many different topics that are pretty epic. http://wiki.ehow.com/Make-Your-Parents-Love-You-for-Who-You-Are, that’s a good page if you haven’t read it, it was posted a few days ago. I think your parents, ya gotta be on good terms or else it’s hard to do something you believe in… it’s hard to go through a struggle without any support. Anyways, that’s a topic for next time. Even still tonight’s [was pre-thought before this http://wiki.ehow.com/Have-a-Healthy-Relationship showed up, nevertheless its nice information to read afterwards… it’s a different view (kinda)] topic is on relationships with people (other than your parents). I spend all this time praising wiki.ehow.com and now my argument differs from it. Here’s an original idea: read both and decide on something for yourself. I’m merely presenting my view of things.

Friends… quite possibly the only thing that is so common but not a whole lot of individuals know how to do it correctly. That’s kinda a negative view; I know there are many individuals that have no one else to depend on. It’s that what a friend is some one to depend on? It’s not all they are, but it’s a pretty important trait. When it comes to friends, it’s difficult to find the one that is genuine. I think I’ve been blessed with quite a few individuals I can truly depend on. The criteria for a good friend are pretty extensive, and I know I won’t hit on all the traits… but hopefully I’ll get the heavy hitters.

friend P Pronunciation Key (fr(image placeholder)nd)n.
  1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.

  2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.

  3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.

  4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement: friends of the clean air movement.

  5. Friend A member of the Society of Friends; a Quaker.
(I love dictionary.com, knowledge is power)
Dictionary.com always provides a pretty good basis; I always take it with a grain of salt. I’d argue with 2 and you’ll see why in a little bit. I want to highlight 3 though; I think that’s pretty important.

The people I call friends has quite a few individuals in it, truly individuals, people are very different from each other. And I love it, it’s not just those individuals that I grew up with, so we’re not bound by the simple fact of time. I have newer friends and I have elementary school friends, and they all follow under my criteria for friend. In our current era, (and I’m not helping this either by joining facebook.com, I’ll argue for this later) the term friend has been abused and mistreated. [I see www.facebook.com as a way to keep in touch with individuals that have flown away, it’s nice to check up on people… see how the trials of life have developed whomever, and it’s not to the extent that it is like a stalker (i.e. friendster.com or whatever it is)]

Lemme get on point, I wanna take that definition I highlighted and start there. In the struggle that we call life, we’ll find individuals fighting for the same thing that we’re fighting for. Whether it’s a real problem we’re trying to solve or just trying to have that time where we can take it easy, we’ll have people trying to achieve the same thing. When I think of the people I call friends, I could (and have) told them by dreams and my plans for life. There’s no feeling of their reaction as negative. When you tell someone your dream (not the one some of you have a night), there are a few things that could happen (I’m highlighting two): they could laugh at you or they could accept you (maybe even try to help you get there). When I’ve discussed what I wanted to do in life, (and maybe this is by general nature) but there’s never a fear of being laughed at; further more, I haven’t been laughed at—why tell someone something you truly believe in, if you think you’re going to be laughed at. There are all these intangibles when it comes to friends, it’s never anything material. With this comfort zone of being able to tell someone your deepest thoughts, there comes qualities of the relationship—trust, I think, is the biggest. I trust they won’t laugh, I trust they will accept it, and I trust them with that information. Anyone that’s two-face is not a friend, and everyone knows this but no one really believes it. People can tell when someone isn’t being genuine; you can hear it in their voice or tell by their body language. And I know it’s the tip of the iceberg, but I lost my train of thought [the next section is nagging me to get to it]

So, how to be a good friend… well be genuine. That ehowto I gave earlier, I would argue that’s what makes a good friend relationship. The “how to” takes about a relationship in terms of significant other. I argue all those qualities should be present with your friends. The first section, that’s the best statement of telling the truth to people. Another quality a good friend should have is a good listener. Listen. I’m not talking about just hearing them out, letting them vent. They could vent to a teddy bear or bottle if they wanted to, when someone says something to you—listen to it, and think about it (it’s not hard…). How can you give feedback if you’re not listening? Again, tip of the iceberg, but the next section is naggin’ me [man, I type pretty quickly, there’s got to be a way where I can just think and it types it all out].

Now I argue the “how to” shows how to be a good friend (and it was intended to show how to have a healthy relationship), so the question comes up how do we pick a significant other? Because obviously those qualities have to be present when picking a significant other, what separates a friend from a significant other? Now I haven’t completely mapped this out, but there are a few things that would separate a friend from a significant other. I think being attracted to, is something small but a part of it. More importantly is someone you want to procreate with. Someone you want to create life with, that’s not exactly something that’s done between friends. I know I’m a reflection of (both) my parents, I can see traits and qualities of both. Think about this when picking a significant other. Basically, what would you like your kids to be like? This will probably lead to some argument for dating, something along the lines of seeing how they react to particular situations and finding their true nature (we’ll talk about this later). But back on point, significant other, the person you marry is and should be someone you’d like to see copies of—someone to procreate with. Here’s something to think about: How can you choose who to be with, if you’re not comfortable with yourself?

And as always, these are my opinions; they have been developed as a result of my experiences and thoughts. With that, I always welcome yours because they are derived from your experiences and your thoughts.