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I'm glad I'm not one of those in the field

So the font project is done... and I'm still working on it (well I didn't today or yesterday), but I'm still working on it... why? Because I'm getting published. Yeah, that's right. ::"I Made This" taunting:: After the presentations, I talked to one of the guest graphic designers and asked him... "Tell me the truth, how far am I from publishing it" and he hit with me something along the lines of put it on the computer, get a font builder [and the most memorable part of the conversation] make sure I get a copy. Oh yeah! How sweet is that? Everything is on the up and up... it’s like everything I touch transforms to platinum and diamonds. I hope this special power doesn't run out until I finally lay down to rest. But that's a story for another day. But I have a downer to hamper my mood, that design for the T-Shirt for the school... yeah not gonna happen. I was unaware of the fact that the design was due on Tuesday and well I wasn't going to trade a T-Shirt design (that's extra) for my font (that's my project and has my name virtually attached to it). It's all good though, if they didn't like the entries... I'm pretty sure they'll just open it up for more designs. Either way, I'll get my t-shirt made--whether it be by permission or if I have to do it guerilla style. Oh how nice... moves right into my next topic.

I was talking to a friend of mine [who will rename nameless for universality], and I said this:

I'm just really glad... I'm not like those stereotypical art students who think they know what an art student is and act a certain way
with the crazy hair and funky clothes without brains and might as well be hot pink cows with purple poka-dots
just moo-ing along

And I mean that, what's up with this posers. Lemme get on my stand a flame a few individuals tonight. Honestly... daily... I see individuals who think they're artists but when it comes down to it... they can't even grasp what it means to truly be an artist. And I mean any art form whether it be, acting, architecture, graphic designing, musician, painting, sculpting, writer, et cetera. All areas of art are clouded by posers who have no integrity or honesty. They act a certain way because they believe "to be an art student, one has to dress this way or speak this way," when in reality, it's the other way around... it just happens. If you got it, then you got it... if you don't, no one can teach it to you. [If you got it, some teachers can bring it out; but if you don't got it, they can't get it to you] Most of art school is understanding one's own style, and if that's the case, then why do we have so many that are just trying to follow the pack, catch the heat from someone else's spark. Now, much of this is due to the natural progress of most artistic individuals. Most artists do end up designing their own clothing, which is understandable sometimes what you need is not what's in your closet at that moment... so they're forced to make it. What I want to say with my clothing just isn't out in the market right now... so I will have to start designing my own. [I'll keep y'all update on that as well.] Honesty... and Integrity... that's what is missing in these stereotypical art students... whining how they can't get accepted in society because they're an art student... or dress a certain way, because this is how an art student dresses. Remember its not how you look that's being judged by the rest of the world, it's your art work that's in the lime light and under the interrogation lamp. Perfect example of this would be Project Runaway and the winner of that. I can't remember the designers name (much like how most art is... unless you're really really epic), but I can remember his clothing line. Since he was on T.V., we saw how "different" he was... his crazy dress style and the like. But when it came down to actual design and the final day... what did he say? "Let's let the line speak for itself." Yeah, he came out with his hot pink hat and suit on but hey he made the hat. Be who you are... not what you think you're suppose to be... cuz you'll only get it wrong. If this sounds like a subliminal message to all those people that look into the mirror and see what I'm talking about; please do me a favor and don't waste my (or someone else's) teacher's time. You're the reason why there is so much fluff is most art forms nowadays, you and your predecessors are the reason for architecture falling short and movies that just plain suck. Granted, some are the result of failed execution, but if the idea/concept wasn't there in the beginning then there's nothing to try and capture. For the rest of you true art students please do what Mike Shinoda [Linkin Park - Step Up] did, for the rock/hip-hop genre, in your own genres. I know I'll be blazing my own trail [hopefully, doing it in my own designed clothes and never to a conformed style].


geez... 21 was a long time ago.

The font is done... well it's as done as it going to be for tomorrow's presentation. I think its enough to get a consideration on publication, now wouldn't that be some pimp shiet! Second Year in Architecture School and gettin' shiet published. Oh yeah... for the people in my class or even in my school, I'm going to for the design of the T-Shirt for our school. Wish me luck, but if you're against me.... hehheh... Good Luck (I’ll be a good sport about it, unless your design just isn't all that great). Yeah, so Imma start working on that tomorrow (projects never stop with me, I hit the ground running). Anyways... back to the font, if I have to choose I’m going with the lower cases (to me, they just look better) and then if I can do both I will. But for all the pieces of work I have I’d take up the whole wall and that just isn't far. If it gets a few good comments or even if it gets a second look (by a graphic designer), imma ask if it’s worthy to get published. Then we'll see where that goes. Hopefully it'll be on the up and up. I just hope they (professors and guests, which are going to be there tomorrow) grasp the concept, which I think they will. And if they don't, it's in my sketch book and they're going to be looking through that. I know the one professor that is assigned to me, I know she gets it. And the graphic designer that came to talk to us, I think he gets it. Sorry, I'm leaving names out... I don't have consent and I don't wanna be sayin' stuff and others gettin' all bent outta shape. There's little mishaps on the hand written part of the font, but if its going to get publish I can fix those things on Photoshop (they're not hugely noticeable). Y'all should see my room, papers and all kind of shiet everywhere. But I’m too tired to clean up; I’ll clean up before I start the T-Shirt design. Oh yeah, I’m custom making my own stamp. That should be fun, custom logo and everything. Cuz well I always wanted a wax (or blood) stamp and I never like manufactured designs (they just don't have any personality), so imma make my own. Yeah, so those projects are lining up... but it's not like its work because I like doing it and its all stuff I want done.

[Man, I just lost my post this is where it was recovered]

Anyway... imma try and salvage my thought about what I was talking about. I was discussing birthday (before my post got lost). This is what I posted on my cuz's friend's blog (as a comment):

even though you're birthday goes unnoticed, don't feel bad. I think to myself, my birth was not a blessing to me (really). It was more of a blessing to my parents... they wanted me to be here. People always say... yeah you're a year older, but that doesn't really say anything about how much you've developed. On my birthday, I think to myself what got me here to this date. I think about my parents, my closest cousins (Tony, Janet, and Kim), their parents, and all the people that I’ve come across to this date. Nothing happens in a person's day that doesn't affect them in some way shape or form. I know it's great to get an awesome birthday, but don't be bummed if ya don't. I just like it when my parents remember my birthday... it's when I first came into their lives and not the other way around.

Yeah... that's my view of it... I've never really had like a huge birthday bash kinda thing going, I think I had one when I was a kid and only child but I can't remember much of that. When I was in a relationship, she always gave it her all to make it a great day. But other than those instances it's usually just me celebrating other's birthdays... just doesn't matter to me much. I'd be kinda upset it my parents didn't take notice, but it's their day and they'll celebrate it anyway they want. I'm turning 21 this year and everyone is like oh you gotta go here or you gotta go there and I dunno... that would be cool but do I have to go for my birthday? Shouldn't I be home with the ones that brought me into this world, and let them enjoy how much I've grown? Instead of running around and growing up faster than I probably should. I think I’m pretty grown up, but I'd rather show that off to my parents than to my friends and whatever else they can get me into. Now if the home situation isn't the greatest, then yeah so celebrate it with the ones that will appreciate it or wanna do something for ya. That's all cool and all that, but lemme get some home cookin' or a nice conversation or some fond memories and I’m good to go. Anyway y'all, I’m out... I gotta hit up Kinko’s in the morning to print out some 11X17's (those crazy professors).


Music dictates Life?

Ooooh... I'm tired. Hehheh, I worked on the font today. Ya know cuz I wasn't really satisfied with the quality of it and the materials I used, so I went to my fall back material and re-did what I had done for last Thursday (except the numbers, Imma throw in the punctuation points on the same page). So today, I finished the CAPs again and damn... I came out with a sexy "O." Now if you don't think an "O" can be sexy, well you haven't seen this "O." I'm a little unsatisfied with my "W," it's alright. My "H" could be sexier, same with the "B." I had a nice touch on the "U," but it's not noticeable until you walk up to it (which could be a good or bad thing-pending Tuesday). I changed up my "Z," it wasn't sittin' right. I changed my "S" back to what it should've always been. Sorry, y'all can't see what I'm talking about... Imma post images later. Anyway that's not what I wanted to talk about. Moving onto the topic (::psst::... y'all aren't commenting... Maybe no one is reading...?).

As I'm sitting here at 3:45 AM blaring my Maroon 5 "She Will Be Loved," I thought I might share my thoughts about music... what I listen to, what are the favs, why I listen to it and a theory about listening to music. Anyways... I would say that I listen to everything, and it's not like everything excluding country, blues, and jazz. Whoever says they listen to everything and excludes that... is obviously not listening to everything. Yeah, I rock out my country (when the mood is right) same with the rest of my music. I will listen to Rap, Hip-Hop, R&B, Pop, Rock (Metal, Alternative, Punk... and more-just can't think of it right now)... et cetera... everything-truly everything. My cuz, Steak, would say I listen to everything that's on T.V. I would argue that's not true, because I have listened to a lot of stuff before it hits T.V. (10 steps ahead of the average) and even stuff that probably won't hit T.V. Now... I listen to all forms of music and (oh shiet, I forgot techno... hehheh) at various amounts at different times. Sometimes, I'll change styles during the day. Sometimes I'll go whole weeks listening to the same thing. My computer is set to turn on music for my alarm; the music doesn't stop in my room. Now, I wouldn't say I have an all-time single favorite because sometimes I'm not in the mood for whatever my favorite might be. Now, I have a group that I have a lot of songs that I like and that's Linkin Park [LPUnderground here, DragonRomeo]. They satisfy many different needs at the same time even though they have their own sound.... now DMX is another story. I like DMX because it's pure Rap and he has many songs that I like. So technically, those are favorites but sometimes I don't wanna hear them... so they're not favorites. Now there's a reason to why I listen to so much different music and it goes hand-in-hand with my theory of music. It think it is universally understood that Life dictates Music, right? If you consider that music is written by people, usually about life (whether it be theirs or something they see), then music would be an account of real-life. Yes, I understand the concept of telling a story... either way it's about life. Not to rip from Staind "Zoe Jane," I think they [musicians] can teach me everything that they've endured... and with the lyrics I can either relate to my own experiences or even [possibly?] prepare for something coming. So I guess music gives me a far warning for things to come in this life. Granted... sometimes I may never endure some situations, but I may come across a person that doesn't know how to deal with a situation and I can provide some help because I've heard the situation before [kinda the reason why I know many things about relationships, having been in very few, but many musicians sing/rap/or whatever style you want about relationships.] And I understand that it doesn't always come out the exactly how the song said, but it is possible that the result will come out the same way. Now, back to that whole idea of Life dictating Music. Is it possible that Music dictated Life? Have you ever heard a song that meant nothing to you when you first heard it [maybe the instruments or beats caught you, but the words never set in]... then somewhere down the line of life you needed to hear the song just to hear what it said, just to see if it was telling your story (almost like a subliminal message)? With those premises [Hearing a song before the event, event happens and need to hear the song], could it be possible that you made (chose) your life story go [as if it was planned] in the same direction as the song? [Now, I know some people will deliberately do that... and we call them actors or drama queens/kings.] I believe it can, I believe it is possible that Music [unconsciously or even consciously] dictates Life. Just to play Devil's Advocate against myself, it is possible that an individual was set on that course already and hearing the song prior to the event/situation then hearing the song again (now that the individual can relate to it) is merely coincidence. Then what do we do with the songs that come out brand new, at the same time the event/situation is happening (further still, it has been on the radio for 3 months but you only hear after then event/situation happens)? More coincidence...? C’mon now... after a while some one needs a swift kick and realize that everything that happens is not a coincidence. I mean this is what I believe, and obviously you're free to believe whatever your lil' heart desires... if you want to believe that you've gotten 7 tickets and 3 accidents and you're licensed revoked [more than likely not to have an insurance until the age of 21/23] is just you having some bad luck and NOT because you shouldn't be driving or because something might seriously happen or you've been driving for the wrong reasons. Well, I can't help you. I can be that exact with that example, because well... I'm the dumbass that had 7 tickets and 3 accidents [yeah I know... I heard it before; I don't need to you remind me-but thank you]. Back off the tangent and back into the discussion (with myself...?), Music Dictating Life and is it possible? Musical (subliminal) messages? Everything happens for a reason? Many things to consider... but its 4:37 people and well I'm forced to get some sleep... before I fall asleep and have these keys imprinted in my forehead.



Yeah! I got a lil attention of my cousin's blog... I thought that was pretty cool. Tonight was kinda laid back, I wanted to hit up my font work again and make it as close to perfect as I can get it for Tuesday. ::psst::... I'm shooting for it to get published. Yeah... I know... high ambitions, I heard it before. But I got this. It doesn't have to be published on Tuesday; I just want to make sure that the graphic designers will consider it. Then I’ll run with the idea, I’m sure they'll help out with that extended knowledge on how to publish a font. Yeah... but I didn't work on it today, I wanted to... ran outta materials. Went to the store and it was out of materials as well... disappointing I know. I probably could've gone earlier, but my buddy was up from the burgs on a visit. And when he went, then I went to the art store. I wanted to spend a lil time with friends and I got all weekend, mostly Sunday night. I got to go to the parent's house and see my lil bro after this first football game (they won by the way, in case you were wonderin'). I got to take a few photos and incorp my word (that I chose for the font) into the picture. The word I chose was/is my title for the font, sorry I’m a little vague, gotta cover my own ass make sure no one rips my idea ya know. Cuz even though I don't care about the famous dollars, some people don't care about professional courtesy. So they'll rip someone else idea cuz they can't think of their own. "Blaze your own trail" (adjusted from Papa Roach's "Not Listening" [Verse 2]).

Today... I was gonna just lay back and light a few candles and indulge in my silence and artistic freedom... but I didn't, eh, it's all gravy it wasn't that much needed. I just watched Crash instead. I thought that movie was great (or else I wouldn't have bought it although I do a blind buy every now and again), but I can see why some people wouldn't like it.

Oh! You know what I wanted to talk about or well at least say... you know how people say that you held this information from me so therefore you lied to me. And I was thinking is it really lying if it never crossed my head. That's like saying I didn't tell you I was breathing, but because I didn't tell you I’m lying about breathing. Ya know what I’m tryin' to say? You can't be held responsible for something you're not consciously aware of, right? How did this question come about.............. Oh! I remember now, I keep certain things to myself and so when I don't convey them or talk about them... am I lying to everyone, because I haven't said that I’ve been doing it? For example, you go somewhere frequently and you see someone over and over again and you think you know them pretty well. Then you find out that they're like married or something, and you think they're lying to you. Can that be considered lying? If it never crossed their mind that they needed to tell you that? Person 1 "well you never said that, you lied to me" Person 2 "I never said I did or never said I didn't." And yeah, I understand that if you think about it and it relates and you don't say it... then of course that can be counted as lying. Say Person 1 is out late then goes straight to work in the morning and Person 2 is upset about Person 1 not coming home. When the argument starts over where Person 1 was and Person 1 says "I was out late, and then I went straight to work," then Person 2 finds out that Person 1 was in a certain place. Half the truth is half a lie. But about the example before, it's really the full truth. Now I’m not going to sit here and detail out everything of my activities, and with that you can't say I’m lying to you about what I’m doing. Unless you want to hold me responsible for something I'm not aware that I had to say. Does that make sense to everyone out there... let's hope so? I'll post of a little bit later, gonna get some sleep tonight... I got some stuff to do tomorrow.


Tipping on pre-cognition (...negative?)

So I presented my font (for Architecture), by the way... that's what we're working on, and I must say it was just satisfactory. Apparently (after talking to a few classmates), I came off as defensive and not taking well to criticism. I guess my only real rebuttal would be that I already knew the flaws in my work and I had an explanation for it. For example, I didn't like the material I was using and how it was reacting to my marking utensil. When someone said something about my work, I had already pre-thought an answer to how I would answer such a question. At the end of the class... I said something that was very "bold" to say, I said "you can't tell me something that I already thought of." Yeah... that didn't go over well. But realistically, I did see the flaws in my work and I pre-thought my answer to the question. Isn't that what they tell you to prepare for? Me, and my analytical ass, apparently went a little overboard. But really, nothing was said that I didn't think of last night as I was doing it or as I was looking it over. And plus, I stand by the design of my font and will defend it until the end or else I'd scrap the whole design unless it can be improved upon-then there is an exception. I'm always willing to see a different view, and I do believe I am open to criticism. Perhaps someone's view of the world or something as simple as why they prefer something over another. If something is shown to me that I didn't notice before, I'm hungry for it. Like the saying goes... "Hungry for knowledge, here it is... EAT IT!" I guess I do that many times with other things, for example in a normal conversation let's say that someone says "hey what are you up to," I may answer with "oh just hanging about... about to do some work... pretty much in architecture... but after that I'm free to do something if you wanna." Hopefully you can see the questions that would fit in between my words (what are you doing later? what kind of work? when you gonna be done with that?). But it's like I thought the conversation out and gave the final point all in one verse. I guess when I conduct a conversation and its meaningful (or going to be used beyond today's date) I slow down. Like if I was talking about Philosophy... I’d slow down the process and let those expected questions be asked. But if the conversation is about shallow topics or gossip I just skip of the wasted breath. Maybe that's why I don't conversate well with some certain individuals... Something to think about later on. "I believe I see things 10 steps ahead of the average."

This kinda goes to the comment that was mentioned by b. I believe that I am the hardest on myself because I am my own worst enemy. It brings me to the point of hating the fact that I am human (automatically, I'm flawed). I would love to be essentially perfect, but the fact that I don't know something or about a certain subject tears me apart. And really there can't be two perfect beings (given that God exists and God is perfect, well get into that some other day) because that might throw off the balance in the universe. But remember what Descartes says, even if you can't be perfect you can always try. Even though he sees the world as perfect... why then would you encourage to be better, wouldn't that throw off the balance. I would say that Descartes believed that only a few would listen and therefore it would balance out. If some were deliberately bad vs. those that were trying to achieve better, then it would remain balanced. Alright off of that tangent, back to the question from b. Yeah, by choice I prefer to be my own worst enemy. No one thinks less of me, more than I think less of myself. I would rather have it; I hate myself more than someone else hates me. That makes sense to you out there in cyberspace?

Anyways y'all... I'm gettin' kinda hungry so Imma eat and I'll probably be back posting later tonight... possibly-No promises though, I only promise what I can manage.

What are we doin' tonight Brain...?

Nothing drastic to report today... just the fact that it's 3:43 AM and I just finished for my presentation tomorrow. Hehheh... just realized some people might not know anything about me. Well let's just fix that first.

First Name: Carl
Family Name: Lee
Nicknames/Alias: ...? Dragon? DragonRomeo? (Now...) Tainted Dragon?
Location: Chicago... UIC
Occupation: Student
Major: Architecture (possible double in Philosophy)
Martial Status: (We'll get into that another day)
Interests: They vary like the color wheel.

Well that’s about the core and all y’all really needed to know.... But seriously... I hate this crap... about me shiet... I once posted a question on my AIM away message (stating something like "if someone asked you to describe me, what would you say?") and I got some pretty interesting answers, but I didn't get that many... conclusion people can't really describe me and I can't describe myself so let's just let the blog speak for itself (over time). If you can't already tell... I'm analytical to a fault... really to the point where I either hate the fact that I am human (and therefore flawed) or hate the society we must (for now) exist in (until I change it up a little). I'm sure most of you will get that feeling after a few hours of reading my nonsense that makes the world seem perfectly balanced and yet chaotic (little taste of Descartes there). Anyways... if anyone cares here is why my name on here is Tainted Dragon.

Tainted Dragon.
Tainted (Thank you
1. To affect with or as if with a disease.
2. To affect with decay or putrefaction; spoil. See Synonyms at contaminate.
3. To corrupt morally.
4. To affect with a tinge of something reprehensible.

Dragon:1. Mythical creature hold in nearly all cultures of old and new.
Egyptian: Anubus (God of the underworld) kept a Dragon as his pet and guardian. Also other references.
European: Feared flying creature, some thought to be the symbol of Asian take-over of the European countries.
Asian: Duh...?
2. "Monster" held for the creation and eventual destruction of the world.
3. Large reptile, sometimes winged, serpents tail, lion's claw (the number of claws changes in different cultures as well), scaly skin.
4. (Last but not least) Strong minded individual.

Using those definitions...

well you can kinda figure why I run this blog under Tainted Dragon. Yeah... I know... analytical... I can't help it. Well that's a good for now... I'll post more later, I got sleep to get before my presentation tomorrow (gotta think of something to say).


It has to start somewhere

Welcome Ladies & Gentlemen,

This is the first blog and the beginning for many more. The reason I decided to sign up for a blog is because I like the whole idea of having something where I am able to speak what is in my head and for those that want to listen have a chance to receive these messages that I send out into cyberspace. Also, it is another chance to explain myself (for those that don't like my away messages). That whole concept of statements and words being beaconed out to the rest of the world just screams potential. Hopefully... this will give me an opportunity to further my own thoughts and possibly someone else's as well. For those of you that already know me, here is the next level of complexity; for those of you that are entering for the first time, Good Luck.